Pancakes, insomnia and melted plastic

Sunday - still recovering from my lack of sleep on Friday night/Saturday morning. Made pancakes for Sir and the pups. Here's Taybor begging at the stove. Few things are more pathetic than a 60 lb puppy begging for a pancake! Oy!

i spent most of the day in seclusion in my so-called studio. i did a bit of an overhaul on it, but it still remains the Households junk room. i need to throw away about 3/4 of the things in there. (there's a BIG piece of bondage furniture in there that needs a new home....) Each time i try to dig it out, more and more clutter gets dumped in there. It's a losing battle. After i gave up on cleaning (3 trash bags later) i settled down and had a good 5 hours of melting plastic, using distress inks and paint. i even used my wicked heat gun to get some cool effects on a piece. Not relaxing at all and only somewhat cathartic - but it'll have to do for now.

Sir got me up at 6:00 on Monday, i didn't work in the studio as i hoped to. The thought of doing a big dig out that early just gives me the willies. But i got some tea and quiet time with the dogs - which the 3 of us needed. i'll try again tomorrow morning. Small steps....

Ladies and Gentlemen - World/Inferno

Well, that was one of the best shows i've seen in my life - and i've been to a lot of concerts! i am so proud of Jack and the gang. Jack's matured into a fabulous frontman and not too shabby of a dancer, i might add. :-) Jitterbug, indeed! Their new material was fantastic live and with the addition of a handful of extra musicians the sound was as full and exciting as you'd expect from WIFS. It was pretty amazing to get to see them on their home turf at the end of tour. Welcome home!

Forces conspired against me and kept me hostage dancing & singing loudly up in the balcony all evening, so although he acknowledged that we were there from the stage, i was unable to spend any time with him. Oh, well. Sad - maybe the NEXT time he gets back from a tour of the U.S., i'll get to spend some time with him. Next time, i'll make other, better arrangements. i learned my lesson.

No sleep at all once we got home, i just laid there looking at the ceiling all night. i finally got up put of bed at the ungodly hour of 5:00 am, asked Sir to release me from my slave jammies and then went out and weeded the front yard, had some tea and now i'm off to find some breakfast. Should be a productive day with all this extra time..... i expect i'll be crashing and burning at around noon, fast asleep on the kitchen floor or some other ridiculous place.....

crawling out

i feel as if i am finally crawling out from beneath this past weekend! i don't know if i was fighting off a 'bug' or having post stress exhaustion or the fabulous effects of perimenopause.... what ever it was, i felt like crap!

i feel a bit resuscitated after the "date" last night. Yeah, hot wet dirty sex is a great revival for me. i like sex that's so good that afterwards you need to find orange juice to fix up your blood sugar and your stomach is rumbling... piggy! It was too late to eat last night so today i am feasting on pretty good take out sushi for lunch.

Tonight we are going to see World/Inferno Friendship Society play at the Bowery Ballroom. It'll be good to see Jack and the Gang, triumphantly returning to NYC after the tour of the U.S. and it'll be good to compare scars since Mr. Jack had his appendix out a few weeks ago. (yes, i love scars....)

It feels good to be returing to a normal pace and not reading our presentations 2x every night. i will enjoy the peace while i can before the preparations for South Plains begins!
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For all those people who asked me to publish my two minute speech online - i will be working on some changes to Sir's website this weekend and i'll be putting it up there, somewhere.... (there will be a link on this blog to take you there...)

Northeast Master slave Conference

Well, faithful readers..... It was an exhausting and very rewarding weekend. Sir Larry and i were given the honor of representing the Northeast region as the Northeast Master & slave for 2006. i will write more later - right now it's time to finish unpacking and getting the household fed and the puppies settled down!

Mini van, mini surgery, mini freak out

Let's start with the mini freak out - ok, not a real freak out, but there was a LOT of hysterical giggling and really bad jokes this morning at HSL. We're both starting to get really reved up and excited/nervous about the contest. The contest is going to be fun, everything will be fine - but we needed to blow off some steam and this morning was the time to do it. It was nice to be able to laugh that hard at ourselves and still feel confident that we will do our best over the weekend.

LiLu is feeling super fiesty! The vet told Sir he'd probably have to carry her to the car, but when they brought her out of her cage at the office she was jumping and leaping around. That's my girl - strong and unstoppable! The bad thing is, since she feels pretty good she really doesn't want to stay in her crate! She's been barking non-stop since she came home. i'd love to let her run around, i'm sure she'd be fine - but not until the staples come out of her legs. i ran out to Target to get her a new bed this morning, her old one is fake sheep skin and all the fuzz was sticking to her incision. Not very hygenic.
Taybor is very angry that she's locked up. He pooped and pee'd on the floor as a solidarity protest to get us to release the prisoner this morning. grrr.....
Sir and i went to get the mini van this morning. It's...well, it's a mini van. Not very hip looking but it's got lots of space for all the baskets and it's got great air conditioning - vital during this heat wave we're having.

By the way, when i got my hair cut yesterday - the first thing Randy said was "oh, you went darker" Yeah, predictable!

Off for more packing and to find some lunch...

LiLu's out of surgery!

Lilu is fine! The surgery is done.

All four pins ( 2 in each leg!) have been removed.

Each leg had two large pins and two small pins. Both small pins were broken. (BROKEN??? my little girl plays rough with her big brother!) One of the small pins was not able to be removed all the way because of how it broke off in the bone. The Dr. doesn't feel that will be a problem because the pin is very imbedded in the bone.
No food tonight, just ice chips and antibiotics and pain killers and bed rest for 5 days. Then back to get her staples out in 10 days....i think i'm glad that i'll be at the conference and won't get to see her... i feel so guilty when she has to be confined but she's feeling perky and wants to play!

LiLu off to the vet

Here's a picture of a very unhappy pup! Poor Lilu was circling around me this morning, asking me as only a hungry pup can "why are you feeding my brother? where's my food? how come i can't have any water? why did put down to toilet lid so i can't have a drink?"
She should be up and around tonight if everything goes smoothly. i hope they don't find anything weird in her knees when they open her back up. The pins holding her knee caps in place were purposly left just a bit raised from the bone to facilitate easy removal - they migrate about 25% of the time, so they leave an easy out for situations such as these. i wonder how shaved she'll be? She just grew all her fur back from the last surgery! i wonder if they'll take out just the pin that's bothering her or take them both out?

Anxious dog mother awaiting news from the surgeon.....

Breaking rules

Yeah, yeah: not rules that Sir makes for me... my own personal rules. "Never switch hair colour brands before an event."
Totally Trauma Proof Hair Color  my ass!

i can't wait to get my hair cut tomorrow and Randy will cock his head at me, puzzled, and say "oh, you decided to go for a change? mmmmm... it's kind of... dark. " grumble.....i actually like it, but it's not what i wanted and it's definitely NOT what the box shows.

Lilu goes in for her surgery tomorrow a.m.
my allergies are wiping me out - my tonsils even feel swollen! ACK!

i still need to make time to call my Jack. i've been meaning to call Him back since TES Fest, but whenever i look at the clock it's too late at night to call Him. Damn space-time continuum.... If You're reading this - i will probably call You on Wednesday afternoon!

Busy Busy Busy!

 It's Contest central around here! Last minute wardrobe adjustments - taking in the waist on my "fancy" skirt, last minute belt loop additions to my Uniform skirts so i can wear the leather belt that i earned a while ago, boots are cleaned, leathers are cleaned (still need to clean my vest), busy assembling a triptych type display for the Sailing trip - that's coming out really cool!

i'm sure a million more little things will come up between now and when we leave on Thursday, but i'm trying really hard to make sure that at least dinner time will be sacred and peaceful for us. i'm planning a nice, very healthy dinner for the three of us for Wednesday night - so we can just chill out and be grounded & well nourished before we leave.

That's  it for now, back to the frenzy.....i need to clean the bird cage, clean the turtle tank, iron the hankies, pack my meds, find my glasses....

myspace

i am now staying the hell off of myspace. i following links of people/bands i know and i just kept finding person after person that Sir and i used to be good friends with have died in horrible drunken, drug addled puddles of vomit. The death count of friends who i didn't know had died (because we stopped hangin' with them because they were doing too many drugs, etc) is up to 3.

One the good news front, one person - who called himself Alcohol Bob, who supposedly moved to California to become a clown on t.v. - is now a fairly successful director and producer.

i'll end my looking for old friends on that note and try to stop feeling sad.

shrink wrap

Getting all the baskets ready for the auction. The stuff that is actually in baskets has been shrink wrapped. Who knew i had a mummification for inanimate objects fetish?

Thursday date night started out mundane - going to the mall to buy socks for Sir, we ended up at Barnes & Noble to buy some bed time stories for me and then home....
face slapping arm punching hot dirty piss soaked sex. Ahhh, ya gotta love an uninterrupted Thursday evening.

i'm off to take a bath and then i get to clean all of Sir's leathers in preparation for the contest. (plus the chaps, i love the chaps!)
Tomorrow night i get to do all the boots!

Update

i finally finished updating the last TES fest day.

Poor LiLu had another episode this morning. i am looking forward to getting her to the vet on Tuesday to get that pin taken out of her! $1,800 bux to put it in and only $150 to take it out. Grrrr......
Sir and i got a lot of the auction baskets prettied up and shrink wrapped. my pantry (yes, it's my pantry, kitchen is my domain!) looks like a closet of perversion. Baskets of leather goods, blindfolds, dvd's & videos, liquor and food baskets...... Yummy! Just a few more to finish up, the rest of the goods, art work, etc are being delivered in person to the contest.

my outfit for the onstage needs to be taken in at the waist! Hurrah! i have to get that done by the weekend so we can take some pictures next week. It's crunch time for the Hizzles!

More Good news - my dog is a grenade?

It looks like LiLu Dallas just needs to have her pins pulled out of her knees! Big relief! As far as us going to the conference and leaving her in the dog sitters capable hands - the vet said the timing is perfect. Since she'll be in lock down in her crate for most of the day while we are away, it's exactly what she'll need. Bed rest for dogs!

i do still feel bad for her. She's not limping but she's really subdued right now. Poor girl!

(But i do feel good enough to dance around to the new world/inferno friendship society  cd now!)

Bad things and Good things

Let's start with the bad. Lilu was following me in to the kitchen this morning - not scampering, not jumping around. She suddenly yelped and freaked out. i thought she might have stepped on something or gotten stung by something. But, no - it looks like somethings gone wrong with one of the legs that she had repaired. Unfortunately, i had to crate her and head off since i had a meeting with clients that i could NOT miss because of the time i am taking off for the contest. Ugh! i feel so guilty. She's got a 5pm appointment that Sir is taking her to. Cross your fingers and wish her the best - it's going to suck big time if she's got to have another surgery and we have to leave her with the dog sitter!

The good thing is on the way back from my clients, i got to stop at Vintage Vinyl and pick up the new world/inferno friendship society cd. (It's Sir's old band mates band) Damn is it good! Go! Buy it! Now! i am so freakin' proud of those guys! It was also amazing to pick up the cd and have the cashier say "wow, another one sold" and i got the last one. They sold out by 1pm? Awesome! (i just hope the had more than two in stock)

Now, if only i didn't feel so guilt ridden over leaving my broken puppy home alone, i might dance around listening to the cd..... miserable, terrible puppy mother that i am....

Faith, Hope, Love...

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

i heard an interview on BBC Radio with a guy (i missed his name) who survived the London subway bombing last year. He was saying (i'm paraphrasing) that going thru this thing and all the rehabilitation to heal his body & spirit was an amazing experience. When else do you get to see the daily milestones of your progress? Those little things that mark the changes in your life? Yesterday, he could not take a shower unassisted. Today he could. Yesterday he had a panic attack, today he didn't.

Going thru the illness that i had, i hated it. But i actually befriended it and i realize now that i gained a lot more from it than i lost. Much more. i gained a voice. i gain freedom from my fear of death. i gained a great teacher, Susun Weed. Getting sick made me leap in to the abyss and ask my husband to be my Master at last. So, i lost my spleen? What's that in the face of losing my fear of death? Not much of a sacrifice. Just a scar.

Sir and i have gone thru some major changes in the past 6 months. It's been hard - some of the hardest stuff we've ever faced. We both made some major mistakes in communication. Hearing that guy on the BBC today made me realize that if we didn't go thru all this crap together, i'd not get the chance to see the magic of each day as we rebuild and reconstruct and reconnect. Everyday, the 3 of us get a chance to build a family the way we  want it to be. Is it easy? Nope, i'm not saying that. Is it fun? Well, some of it is - a lot of it is not. This is giving me the chance to open myself up to the possibilities that the universe has to offer me. It's given me the opportunity to reach out to connect to others, when i would normally would not.

Will i gain a couple more scars? Probably. But i like my scars and my marks and the stories that i have of surviving my past, coming out stronger in the end. We're still at the point where we are still learning the dance steps and can see the little daily things we do for each other to make this work. There's sacrifice on all our parts. i strive to remain with an open heart and put aside my fear.

i'm just starting to see that staircase now.

Updating

i've started updating/fleshing out my TES Fest notes.... i'll try to finish them up tomorrow. i can't believe it's been a week!

Work

Ahh, there's nothing better than having your boss come back from a 10 day vacation ,when he's left you in charge, and having your co-workers tell him what a great job you've done! Fabulous! That made me feel really great!
Then i got a call from my big pharmaceutical client and they reamed me out for a minor mistake that i made. Oops! Nothing like a little shot of humility to smooth out a slave's ego....

4th of July

i was so hoping to get to relax on Tuesday and recover from the weekend. We ended up being as busy as every, returning phone calls, answering emails and putting together the dollar amounts for the auction basket for the Contest. i knew that we had a huge pile of donations and things that the Household had assembled - but i had no idea what the value was. *clears her throat* i am VERY pleased! We've got some very generous friends in this Community!

All i can say is for the people that read this blog, bring your money for the auction!
Yes - there's a weekend sailing trip on the coast of Maine with a fabulous M/s couple, with Amtrak tickets to get you there. Anyone up for some play on a yacht? Make Your slave swab the decks? Walk the plank? :-) The Cane Mutiny? This trip sounds so hot that i want to bid on it!

We're still waiting on a few items that were promised and a few that we haven't been able to pick up yet. That stuff should be done this coming weekend. A few people are bringing their donations to the event. (some HOT original art work!) This is so exciting! It's truly heartening to me to see and feel so much support.

Whenever i start to get worried about the little things that slaves worry about, i try to remember how much love i'm getting from not just my Master but from those around me and that, win or lose - there will be a lot of supportive arms to catch me when i collapse at the end of the contest! ;-)
(Hopefully some of those arms will be wielding pokey things and canes in my direction...)
The Contest countdown continues.....

TES Fest Monday - Last Day....

OK, really - no sleep last night. At all! :-) but i mean that in a good way....

• Dogs running wild - poor puppies are so mad from being in lock down and even when we are home, they've been kept out of the living room so they aren't pouncing on sleeping guests. There's going to be hell to pay when we are finally really home!
  
• TES BBQ - We got to enjoy the bbq. Man was it hot out there! The food was pretty good, but once again: good conversation with friends made it better. i got to speak more to Firefly (i love him!) and Master Jack, always a pleasure to spend time with.
  
• Pony Show - instead of classes, we went to the Pony show! YAY! Ponies! That was fun.
  
• Hanging with friends - more hanging with friends. i really felt like this was almost a vacation, my last hurrah before throwing myself in to the contest preparation frenzy.
  
• A phone call from my past! - i headed in to the bathroom before we were going to gather our class notes and collect ourselves. *ring* it's my cell phone. Who the hell could be calling me? It was my friend Jack, the long lost voice from the past. What an absolute heart stopper it was to hear from Him. Once again, conversation picked up where we left off and He said exactly what i needed to hear. After we spoke briefly and He promised that yes, it was ok for me to call Him anytime i needed help - He said two magic words (which i will not reveal here or probably ever, they're the same ones that Sir uses on me to settle me down and i never told Him about that!) and said good bye. i hung up and burst in to tears in the middle of the parking lot. i was bawling my eyes out, but i felt great. Some people are just such magic!
  
• Some poking of my thigh bruises.... so after i bawled my eyes out i settled down and got my thigh bruises poked by someone. Now i'm really feeling great! :-)
  
• Some flirting with someone else....Went inside to vending and got some awesome bear hugs and some flirting done. my day is just getting better and better.
  
• Our class on Worthy Mastery/Worthy slavery - Well, by 5pm on last day, there's not a lot of wide awake people left. But we had about 10 high quality people in the room, asking great questions and had a very interactive class. i know i certainly ended up be blown away by how well it went.
  
• Great conversation afterwards - met 2 local people and man oh, man - do i love those 2 guys from Texas! - We ended up hanging around for about a half an hour after the class talking with the 2 guys from Texas, who i am madly in love with, and two local people who we are planning on having dinner with after the contest.
  
• Home - clean up, dogs gone wild and happy! - i drove home alone, cranked the stereo (world/inferno again) and drove f*a*s*t, elated, exhilarated and so happy to be home. We three of us, cleaned up the house, played with the pups and ate all the leftovers from Thursday night.
  
• and then...... a few hours later, off to an exhausted and well deserved dreamless sleep.
  

TES Fest Sunday

• What day is it????: woke up with no idea what day it was... still slightly damp and really sore! But a good sore, in all the right places. Plus, why didn't anyone tell me that Tops worked so darn hard? :-)
  
• Sir Stephen & slave catherine's class: Very well attended and Interesting. i don't get to see them present often enough. That's got to change. i love that slave catherine's confidence in public speaking is just through the roof!
  
• Lunch snafu: Far too much confusion on where to eat.....
  
• Our class & schedule confusion: HSL's class on How we changed from Vanilla to M/s - listed in wrong place.. so turn out was small but it was great. Lots of good questions.
  
• Dinner at Java Moon! (Yummy!): i am so diggin' on this place. There's another one near Sir's house so i will be going back again. Comfort food (chicken pot pie and smashed potatoes) totally hit the spot.
  
• Thunder storm & cool lightning: Huge storm on the way there and back. i saw lightning that was sort of circular, like a lasso. That was amazing.
  
• my turn for an ass kicking (ok, thigh caning): back to the dungeon for a thigh caning scene that i requested. stripped to jock, boots and a white tank top. Tied to chair, shirt cut off of me, me resisting all the way. Kicking until my legs were tied to the chair. Amazing how accurately i can spit even with a bone gag in my mouth.... Yum, yum yum...
  
• sadly, not so much flirting today! just a little.... barely enough!
  
• Home
• No sleep..... for many reasons..... many, many reasons....... :-)

Oh - and i forgot, this belongs on Saturday's post - amazing and generous contest support from a favorite vendor! Huzzah! i can't give details until it's firmed up but it looks like rather than a physical donation, we might be getting a % of sales at the M/s Conference for the travel fund!

TES Fest Saturday

• no sleep.....So really, i didn't sleep at all. Just layed there staring at the ceiling. It happens more than i like. But, no reat for the wicked. Up early, dogs crated and off to the Fest for an early morning class.
  
• adversarial play class: Sir and sparky's class. After their...scene? at South Plains, so many people were asking "what the hell was that? A fight? Are you His slave? Do you let Your boy talk to you like that? So many misconceptions on what their relationship was/is and what the play was about. It needed a class to explain it. LOL, standing room only and in fact, some of the people who witnessed it there in Dallas were there for the class! Hot! Lots of explanation, then an explosive 20 minute demo. Two goin shots to Sir, one, two, three rug burns for sparky. Fun. The best thing was so many people coming up throughout the whole weekend telling them "we went back to the hotel and re-enacted your class, we had a blast, thank you" that's very gratifying! Build a better pervert, indeed!
  
• lunch on the run... which building are the classes in? at this point, i can't even remember what we did for lunch....and we could figure out which building the next class was in! Oy
  
• 2 great Lady Catherine classes - One on super deluxe piercing and one on the 3 C's. Both great - i'm not a big fan of piercing. Having an illness that required a lot of blood tests and transfusions and my permanant i.v. port then that freakin' awful and ineffective (for me) WhinRHo chemo stuff - i just am not a big needle girl. HOWEVER - i am working to reclaim that for myself. SO as hard as the class was for me to watch, its part of the work that i need to do to free myself from my medical fears.
  
• quick dinner - unremarkable.
  
• flirting continues.....Good Goddess, if there was any doubt in my mine that i'm a sexual being and basically a slut for the right guy, that doubt has been removed from my mind.
  

• and some hot sweat licking.... damn. That guy is just too hot for my own good. :-)

• the take-down of Sir vrs. sparky and me....what happened? You'll have to check back for details! : Yes, that's right. sparky and i have been planning this for about a month. We let the Man think He was going to beat the hell out of sparky but, well - He hinted that He wanted it... we took a chance and He loved it. Tied up with His own belt, theatened with a stun gun, (He's quite a fighter, my Master is) beaten using His own techniques. Finally beggin to be put in the sling. :-) i went around begging some lube (thank to B & V for locating it for me!) A Man in a sling for the first time is a happy Man! That's my story and i'm stickin' to it! Who knew i could Top? me. i knew.... :-)
  

Home. Hot. Sex. All members of HSL satisfied and sleep deprived. and grinning like a bunch of idiots. The bed sheets are in the wash and all is well.....
headed to the shower and ready for round 3......

TES FEST FRIDAY

i'll be filling this in when i am coherent - probably on Wednesday. But before i forget my notes:

• work: it was awful getting up for work today, knowing that Sir and sparky and our guests were going to TES Fest without me. Luckily, it was really slow and we managed to get all our orders out the door by 3pm - by 3:15 i was parked and ready to rock! Sir greeted me with a huge hug in the parking lot. i love being greeted by that Man - He knows how to make a girl feel wanted! :-) Registration was a snap - very well organized and within a few minutes i was....
  
• bootblacking! OK, i was not bootblacking, but i was the recipiant of a wonderful bootblacking experience by one of our houseguests. She did a great job her 1st time out in a public setting.
  
• old friends new friends: It was great just chilling out by registration and seeing old friends, both local and not so local, as well as reconnecting with new friends. Zoinks! Such hotness! We also ran into a friend of Mistress Blair's that we haven't seen in a couple of years - that boy has grown into a vision of super cute hotness. So innocent looking but yet NOT! :-)
  
• dinner: at a local place where Sir used to eat lunch every week. They (the cute girls behind the counter) were happy to see Him. The food was ok, hanging with friends made it better.
• a great auction! i was looking so forward to bidding on someone - but with the opening bid i was blown completely out of the water. Oh, well. It worked out for the best. He went for a vast amount of money and i'm sure he got a great experience out of it as well. *snicker*
  
• a great beating with eye candy to boot! Off to the dungeon to get flogged, punched and kicked. As Sir was getting me situated, a vision of hotness set up a station directly in my eye shot.... sigh! So i get to be beaten by my super hot Master while looking at another hot guy beat a hot girl? It's just not fair the things i have to suffer though. *sniff* After some teasing back and forth between the two Sadists, Sir got down to business and i settled down to get a much needed thrashing. Then some delightful aftercare - Sir rubbed my hands and shoulders while sparky did my boots! That was great, thanks guys!
  
• home - dog pee on my blankets - again! Back home... the dogs must have been left unattended before they were crated because someone pee'd on my pillow and blankets. i got out a spare pillow (lumpy!) and a blanket and settled in to sleep on the floor as usual.
  
• no sleep........ and the Fest continues: not much sleep, too hyped up and no "release" for me....