the slave quarters @ Household of Sir Larry

Spanky

2011-04-08T09:02:00.001-07:00

We lost a friend and family member this week. One of the strongest and gentlest men I have ever known. Brave and so proud of who and what he was. A man I was proud to call a brother, or a sister, depending on what shoes he was wearing at any given moment. In boots or in heels, Spanky was the very definition of a beautiful spirit.

Obituary from the Asbury Park Press.
Mark F. Bialous

AGE: 44 • Neptune

Mark F. Bialous, 44, of Neptune, passed away Tuesday, April 5, 2011, at his home of complications due to esophageal cancer. He was surrounded by his family and friends. Affectionately known as "Spanky", Mark was born in Brooklyn, N.Y. and has resided in the Asbury Park area for many years. A licensed practical nurse, Mark had worked in the Monmouth County Correctional Facility and was Pharmaceutical Manager for the last three years. In 2008, he earned the title of Mr. NJ Leather. He was also a friend of Bill W.

Mark was predeceased by his mother, Viola; and his father, Henry. He is survived by his brother, Henry "Hank" Bialous of Lindenwold; his sister-in-law, Linda (Mini Mom) Bialous; and his external family of choice.

Visitation will be from 2 to 4 p.m. and 7 to 9 p.m. Saturday, April 9 in Buckley Funeral Home, 509 Second Ave., Asbury Park. A Memorial Celebration will be held at a later date. In lieu of flowers, donations in Mark's name may be made to the Foodbank of Monmouth and Ocean Counties or a charity of your choice.

kinda gross but......

2011-03-08T16:58:00.001-08:00

On my way home, i spotted something along the side of the road. Luckily i had my camera with me, so i turned around and got some amazing photos! i am so pleased with these. Red tail hawk is special to me, near and dear to my heart.

closing down the OTHER blog

2011-03-01T10:29:00.000-08:00

We're pulling the plug on the internationamasterandslave2007.com website, so that blog will be going away also. i've been mirroring that one here, so if you're still interested in following along, this is were i will do any M/s related updates.

If you're interested in following along with our workouts and my healthy journey, please check out the other blogs we have:
http://raisetheiron.blogspot.com
http://girlsraiseirontoo.blogspot.com/

We've not abandoned M/s, in fact, we just renewed our contract for another year. However, getting a handle on my health has taken priority, as well as Master's new position and me taking (another) huge pay cut.....funds have been scarce for any extra traveling.

We're still here, still getting in to trouble, still making noise and rocking out, still crazy, still M/s. Taybor is fine, Lilu remains cancer free. If you drop by the other blogs, please say HI, we'd love to know you stopped by!
Peace,
barb

The Melissa Etheridge show....

2010-07-23T09:23:00.001-07:00

OK, so people who know Master and i well know that someone near and very dear to us came out a few months ago (at the age of 80, i might add!) In the weeks and months in between she's been just an absolute pleasure to be around, no more fighting, no weird uber-conservative comments, no snarky remarks about hair or tattoos....just pleasant. Also, a huge thirst for music. She asked us to get tickets for Melissa Etheridge. Really? Hmmm.... i think the last concert she went to was Frank Sinatra back in the late 40's or 50's. Master hustled up some dynamite tickets and then the anticipation began to build. She was so excited!

To be honest, Master and i were a bit apprehensive. Melissa's not exactly the music we usually listen to. Her concerts last for 3 hours. Could we stand it? Could she? (i mean, she's 80. It's a long concert. She hates loud music....) Friday night, we picked her up and drove in to New Brunswick. One comment was made about what i was wearing "It's nice that you wore something low cut, you look nice. And your tattoos are showing, great!" (what? really?)

Well, we got in to our seats. The lights went down. Tribal drumming music starts. A few band members walked slowly thought the audience burning sage and cedar, blessing the room. i thought "very cool, but what's she going to think" She's looking a bit uncomfortable. But, ok, she also looks determined. Then there's this rumble coming from the crowd in the back of the auditorium. Flashlights waving around in the aisle....You hear a woman's voice on a microphone "we are all here to celebrate!" The crowd was moving like a wave....excitement! Yup, Melissa's coming through the crowd and walking right down the aisle we're in. Our newly out "friend" steps out in to the aisle and is dancing around like a 5 year old. Master and i are grinning. Melissa walks right towards her and put her hands on her shoulders in an embrace "we are all here to celebrate!" We're all crying like a bunch of fools. *grin* Melissa takes the stage, our "friend" turns to us and says "Frank Sinatra never walked through the crowd like that" i told her Lesbians are made of stronger stuff and Frank was a wimp. :-)

The show was spectacular. 3 hours of amazing music. She won me over with the first blues riff and blew me away. She's an under rated guitar talent. Truly in the top 5 concerts i've ever seen and i've been to hundreds, if not thousand of shows. Our friend made it through the entire show, occasionally breaking out of her seat to run up front and snap some photos like a teen age fan girl. What a blast. i think i just might have to take her to K.D. Lang (my favorite) or maybe the Indigo Girls... or the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival.....

Apparently....

2010-07-20T12:54:00.000-07:00

No matter what century - someone, somewhere, somehow....has been carting LiLu to the vet. :-)

Today we got to decrease her prednisone, so hopefully she'll sleep thru the night and i won't have to wake up every 45 minutes to let her out to pee. This coming Saturday she'll be getting chemo #5.

Manhattenhenge

2010-07-12T12:43:00.001-07:00

For those of you lucky enough to be in the NYC area tonight, please enjoy this!
Manhattenhenge.

4th of July

2010-07-08T09:00:00.001-07:00

After a brutal and distressing Friday, in which i got another pay cut at
work - it was time for a blessed and much needed 3 day weekend.
Friday
night was spent at home and was quiet and full of hot sexy fun. (This
might be too much information, but i've been having a serious issue with
a total cessation of my sex drive. Be it from the "Peri-menopause" or
whatever. It was just gone, bye-bye sex drive. However, i believe that
due to the changes in diet and supplements i've been taking, it's back.
In force. Like i was when i was 20. No kidding!)

Saturday we headed off to the gym. i was determined to set some PB's
(personal bests) since it was the 8th anniversary of my ITP diagnosis.
:-)
So, the PB's that i set on Saturday were as follows:
Overhead
shoulder press machine - 50 lbs (up 5 lbs from last week) (up 25 lbs
since Jan 2010) (plus i do these one arm at a time, because Master says
it's more difficult that way and He wants me to be tough.)

Decline bench press - 100 lbs!!! (up 20 lbs since last week) (up 35 lbs
since Jan 2010) (can you tell i've been dicking around with this
exercise? yeah....)
There were of course, many, many more exercises -
these are just the 2 that i felt were note worthy. i'll leave out the
description of me trying to do an 35 lb incline dumb bell shoulder press
and having an epic fail on that one - laid there like a bug under a
rock, struggling... Master had to rescue me. Damn. And i did that weight
a few times before!

Post gym, we swung home and picked up the Queen for chemo #3. At the
hospital, her blood tested so amazingly great that they actually
increased her chemo dose to fight those bastard cells extra hard! i was
super pleased that her tests came back so well, the supplements and food
changes are working for her too!

Home, rest, eat and eat and eat! and sex, sex and more sex. A good Saturday! Very good.

Sunday,
up early, home made bread toasted on the grill outside....off to the
gym for Leg Day. i started off with a PB on the Leg Press - 798 lbs (up
45 lbs from last week) (up 195 lbs since Jan 2010)

We also tried out some Diamond Bar Dead Lifts. Not huge weight for me,
but i've been scared to try dead lifts and it was time to get over that.
:-) Now i like them!
Hack squats, i left the weight the same as
last week, since last Sunday i smashed the weight i was doing by 90 lbs.
Yup, another exercise that i was underestimating myself in. i went from
180 lbs to 270.

Home, food, rest, food, food, food and then... you guessed it: lots of
sex. And cooking. The funny thing is, with the changes that both Master
and i have made in our food intake, we're both always cooking.
Sunday
afternoon i realized that something was seriously amiss with my right
wrist. i believe it's a combination of the weight lifting and the sex
(there was some contortions going on). Master thinks it's funny to just
blame all the sex.

Monday was just a day of blissful rest, icing my wrist, eating and
sleeping. i'm now eating more food that i ever did and my weight is
steadily albeit slowly dropping. This was a long post with my banged up
wrist, so i am signing off now. Peace!

i think i just pee'd my panties....

2010-07-01T07:55:00.001-07:00

Last night as Master was watching TV and i was reading a book.. He stepped away for a second, i happened to glance at the screen, only to see a preview of the 11:00 news. i saw this picture and a very serious sounding voice over talking about a criminal who has been robbing stores in NYC. This is a real police sketch. Really. i'm not kidding. i was laughing so hard i couldn't breathe - Master came back in the room and was all like "what the fuck are you lying on the floor and choking for?" Until i hit rewind on the DVR. He promptly slid on the floor like a boneless fish fillet and joined me in my hysteria. So, without further ado, i bring to you the dastardly Cat Burglar! (i feel suspiciously like i might live in Gotham City....)

Southeast Leather Fest....

2010-06-14T11:01:00.001-07:00

Hot, sexy, fun, hard work, laughter, tears, draining, recharging, empowering, learning, getting pinned, getting laid, new friends, reconnecting with old friends, a cigar-ash-covered-delicious boy.....Yup, another amazing time at SELF.

It's hard to even begin writing my adventures down. What an amazing weekend. i *so* needed to recharge my "leather batteries" and this was exactly what i needed. An amazing judging panel that i was lucky enough to be a part of. i'll write more once i have a chance to process it all.

Back at the home front, the dogs were absolutely wild while we were away. One side effect of the meds the queen is on is that she has to pee a lot. When i say a lot, i mean..... holy mother of pee! So, there was a lot of accidents that the sitter had to clean up. i think some of the flooring is going to have to be replaced in the living room, but i would like to wait and see if we can get her settled down in to a non-pee-fountain before i go pulling up pergo and putting down new. So, not only was there a lot of cleaning to do but they even busted down the baby gate and had the run of the house. grrrrrr! (i don't trust dogs in the kitchen unattended since the late great Mr Basil turned on the stove once when we weren't at home and nearly burned the house down. Ugh!) But nothing bad happened this time.

i managed to carry on the 80-90% paelo/primal eating while away and felt WAY better at an event than i have in years. Good on me! It was a bit of work lugging all my supplies on the plane but totally worth it. :-)
More later...

A BEAR!!!!! Plus Pride....

2010-06-08T12:06:00.001-07:00

What a lovely Leather/Pride weekend. HOT! Saturday i got to spend some time with Jake, and Alex (and Alex's lovely friends...) and the Daddies...and everyone! Fun! Foreplay rocked as usual. We even had a Bootblack Jim sighting! :-)
Sunday, we marched in the Asbury Park Pride Parade. i got to carry the Girl Pride Flag. Again it was hot, but i had such a great time. i have to say that i feel the best that i have in a long time. Between all the hard work in the gym, the stretching, the change to my diet (90% paleo/primal) and all the suppliments i'm taking - my joints didn't ache and my hips didn't hurt after standing on concrete all day Saturday nor marching on asphalt on Sunday. Usually after a Pride weekend i'm crippled for a few days. :-) i am a happy gal, let me tell ya!

After spending the weekend with assorted Leather folk and quite a few Bears...Monday's ride home was a shocker. Why are there so many helicopters flying over my job? Why is traffic backed up? What's going on? Hmmmmm... a BEAR!!!!! In the trees!!!!!!! Here he is all drugged up and ready to be moved back to the woods. Poor guy!

LiLu is doing great. Her incision is finally healed up. Chemo starts on the 19th.

Lilu update

2010-06-03T10:49:00.000-07:00

Her Royal Highness, Queen LiLu, is feeling MUCH better. After taking the stitches out, her leg was pretty much back to a normal size within 24 hours. (well, that plus ice and massage helps too)
She's back to sassin' Taybor all the time. She's back to begging for as much food as possible. She's figured out when the pill bottles rattle that it's time for peanut butter or cheese (with a pill inside it!)

Interesting factiod: When we got her, her tail was straight. As she got acclimated to the house, it got a bit of a curl to it. After she had her knee surgery, it was straight again. Until she was healed up and healthy. Then it got super curly, like a donut. Since the last surgery her tails been sort of flat and droopy. This morning we achieved full on curly again! So, now we know the Barometer Of Canine Good Health & General Good Feeling is working just fine.

Chemo starts on June 19th.

For my local peeps:

2010-06-03T10:33:00.000-07:00

This one is near and dear to me. i love my library. You should love your library too. If you live in NJ, please get involved in this. It's important. Our collective brains are at stake!

NJ Libraries Eliminated From State Budget

Gov. Christie's budget calls for a 74% decrease in funding for
statewide library services. This cut includes the elimination of all
statewide library programs and services. This will affect all types of
libraries in New Jersey. Once state funding is eliminated, NJ will lose
$4.5 million in federal funding. What does this mean to NJ residents?
Once state and federal funding are lost the impact will be felt by all
residents:

Access to electronic databases such as RefUSA and EBSCO will
cease

Statewide interlibrary loan and delivery of library
materials will cease

Libraries will lose 50% of state aid at a time when demand
for services is increasing dramatically

More than half of public libraries will lose access to the
Internet

Many libraries will lose email service

Many libraries will lose their websites or access to them

The Talking Book and Braille Center (known as the Library
for the Blind and Physically Handicapped) will close

Group contracts which bring down the cost of other
electronic resources purchased by libraries will cease

At the same time the state is eliminating funding for library
programs. Assemblyman John DiMaio has introduced A2555 which eliminates
the minimum local funding requirement for municipal public libraries.

This assault on libraries must be stopped! Here is what you need to
know:

160,242 people enter a NJ library every day

The $10 million in library programs cut from the Governor's budget
represent little more than $1 per capita in state funds.

Library programs have been flat funded for 20 years so it is hard to
believe these small programs have caused the state's current fiscal
crisis.

Local library funding targeted in A2555 typically represents less
than 3% of local property taxes.

What can you do?

Become a Library Champion. Join the Facebook group Save NJ Libraries
and check for updates on our efforts.

Call or send a message to the Governor (609) 292-6000, your State
Senator and Assembly representatives opposing the elimination of funding
for library programs and A2555. http://capwiz.com/ala/nj/home/

Why Become a Library Champion?

Library Champions are people who love their libraries and
want to be in the know about issues that may affect them. Being a
Library Champion means:

Giving us your
email address so that we can contact you when needed.
Taking appropriate action such as phone calls, emails to
legislators or simply talking to your neighbors about the value of
library services.

When you become a Library Champion we promise that we will
only use your email address to contact you on issues affecting library
service. We will never share, or sell, your contact information.
Please join us in preserving library service in New Jersey. Click on
the red icon to the left to become a Library Champion.

New Jersey Libraries - Busier Than Ever

According to the latest data your public library is a very busy
place.

51,169,912 annual visits to public library
63,935,203 items checked out- up 4 million from last year
8,020,846 questions asked
3,677,575 programs attended
169,958 NJ children read 3,467,161 books during summer
reading last year.
68% of the American Public have a library card
83% of New Jersey residents say funding public
libraries is a good investment (source: 2007 Potomac Public
Opinion Survey)
71% of New Jersey residents believe a public library
is an essential service for the community- not a cultural
amenity. (source: 2007 Potomac Public Opinion survey)

Tell Us Your Story

Libraries transform lives everyday. Click
here to see how!

Do you have a story about how libraries (or the people that
work there) have helped you? Please
tell us!

Did You Know That In Just One Day

160,242 people walked through our doors

126,626 books, movies and more were borrowed

24,153 people used computers

15,053 questions were answered

1,015 people got employment help

1,121 programs were offered

892 people learned computer skills

Lessons in Lymphedema.....

2010-06-01T12:03:00.000-07:00

After a fantastic 3 day weekend, we had a bit of a scare with Queen LiLu.
First the good: 3 days off! Bliss! We cooked every meal except one outside on the grill. Even our pre-workout breakfast toast! We pretty much lived on the patio all weekend. Our dinners were great - spatchcocked chicken, dry rubbed and grilled to perfection, country pork ribs, also dry rubbed and finished with magic sauce (recipe to follow soon.), steaks-grilled with just salt & pepper to perfection. Plus some hot dogs and a few burgers here and there. (Though Taybor almost ruined Monday's dinner by stealing 3/4 of a pound of raw burgers!!!! i ended up finishing up the leftover chicken instead of having a burger. my dog is a thief!)
We made time to explore 2 really old local cemeteries, dating back to the early 1700's. Very cool. While there we saw assorted wildlife: chipmunks, a box turtle what was probably as old as some of the tombstones and a whole mess of wild turkeys! They're huge!
Sunday was spent at the gym. i pushed my own personal best and did 2 sets of 778 on the leg press. (also, realized that i am approaching, albeit slowly, a 100 lb bench press. No kidding. i've been kind of whining and scuffing my toe that "i only press 35 lbs." Master helpfully pointed out that the bar, with no weight on it is 45 lbs! Hah!) The rest of the day was spent lolling around and eating. :-)
Monday we checked local beach. Yup, who knew our town has a tiny beach on the Raritan Bay. Is it nice? Well, not exactly. i mean it's cool cause it's local but it's kind of funky. But still a nice day bird watching and enjoying the sunshine with my Master.
Monday night.... Hmmm, what's wrong with LiLu's leg? It looks... puffy. We iced it and gave her some pain meds but it was a rough night for us all. i thought the worst - Infection. i hustled her off to the vet this morning (and on the way the wound drained all over the back seat of my car!) and they took us right in. It turns out that the girl has Lymphedema from having the Lymph node taken out. That upsets the whole natural flow of lymph around the body and can cause it to pool and swell. Not good, but not infection, yet. So, preventative antibiotics, restricted activity, massage and ice are her prescription. Dr. F also experimentally took out one stitch that seemed to be really giving her grief and wow, the relief in LiLu's whole body was amazing. She just relaxed in my arms with a huge sigh. The swelling was making the stitches put pressure on her leg like a tourniquet! So, we popped out all of the stitches, which were due to come out in a few days anyway. i left her resting comfortable at home and got my butt in to work.
And that was how i spent my 3 day weekend!

a Real Food topic

2010-05-26T08:10:00.000-07:00

i am hoping to win this:

GIVEAWAY: $85 US Wellness Meats Gift Certificate

i really love their products and if i won, well - i'd spend the whole thing on their natural dog food!
We got the news last night that LiLu will need to start chemo since they found some mast cells in her lymph node. Sigh... So, i need to nourish her with as much good food as possible. We already eat their pemmican. Well, i eat it and the dogs eat it. Master just looks perturbed and says "I am not eating a pelican!" i think it's delicious. i eat it before working out for an energy boost.
***********************
On a things are good note, the bruising on LiLu's leg is about 75% lighter and the swelling is about 60% gone. We all went for a walk around the neighborhood. (During which she somehow cut her other back foot! good lord!) Other than the cut, i think the walk did her good as far as getting her circulation going and decreasing the swelling and getting that bruising to move out. This morning when we headed out for our morning pee, she bounced around the living room , on and off the furniture like a crazy skateboarding kid, like she always does. So, i guess she's feeling better. :-)

She's home!

2010-05-24T09:24:00.001-07:00

What a looooooooong weekend. Master deliver LiLu to the surgeon on Friday afternoon. He was thrilled that the tumor responded so well to the drugs they'd prescribed and had shrunk over 50%. Surgery was a big GO for Saturday morning.
Friday evening we were going to drop off my car for some maintenance work at the dealer, this is after i'd had to have the ignition repaired last week. LO and Behold, the same ignition problem occurred so, now i am driving a rental car that they provided.
Master & i had to attend a work function on Saturday that was a lot of fun. But by the time we got home, Master was chanting in a sing-song-little-kid-voice "feet like pancakes and skin like a lobster!" Yup, we both had some sore flat feet from standing on concrete all day and we were both pretty sunburned. :-)
Sunday we get the call to come pick the girl up at the vet. Actually, they gave us the option to leave her there one more day since she was a mess of bruises and swelling. She'd require ice packs and massage and they didn't know if we'd be able to do that for her. What? Of course we would!!!
However, both of us were pretty shocked and horrified by how bad she looked. my poor girl looks like she'd been hit by a car. Her leg is literally black from the bruising. She's so swollen that even her toes are puffy. There are 2 huge incisions, one for the tumor and one for a lymph node that they took from the back of her leg for testing. There's a 3 x 3 square shaved in the side of her body which has a pain relieving drug patch taped on it. (it has writing on it, so to me she looks like a demented NASCAR) Add to all of this the cone collar that she has to wear and the overall effect is that she looks like a version of Tim Burton's Frankenweenie.
Since she isn't supposed to leap up on the the bed we both slept on the couch last night. Well, she slept. i lay there worrying. Then this morning, she busted in to the bedroom and hopped up on the bed, looking very proud of herself. my dog-daughter, the Tank. We'll find out in a week or so what the deal is... chemo? no chemo? Lymph node ok? More waiting games. Overall, i am feeling pretty positive about the outcome for her, but i just feel so bad for the girl that she's in such discomfort. (though, she's either taking or has taken every pain killing drug in the past 4 days, up to and including Valium AND Propofol!!!!!)

That's the update for today. i'm not sure if it makes sense since i'm a bit looped from lack of sleep.
Thank you to everyone for your support! Love ya!

This is what it looks like....

2010-05-17T08:51:00.001-07:00

This is what it looks like when i leg press 753 lbs:

RIP Dio.

2010-05-17T08:36:00.001-07:00

It's really been a tough year in Rock n Roll. Good bye Dio. Great singer! Without you, there'd be no Maloik... and all us Legions of Metal fans would have nothing to do with our hands during concerts. :-)

my own tiny personal connection to Dio was that he was once in my car, being ferried from the hotel to the concert at Birch Hill. Very cool.

LiLu update

2010-05-13T09:19:00.001-07:00

Well, my Little One had an appointment with the oncologist last night. Things are looking very good for her, expensive but good.
We started her on a 10 day course of prenesone to try to shrink the tumor as much as possible (and also lessen any histamine release post surgery) and then she'll see the surgeon on Friday 5/21. If all goes well, we'll leave her there at that time and they'll operate the next day. After that, she'll most likely have weekly chemo for about 6 weeks. Because of the location of the tumor and her condition (muscular, no fat!) they won't be able to take out as much surrounding tissue as they'd like to. The Dr called her a tank! :-) He actually said if she was fat they'd have an easier time removing it. LOL.... so if my dog was unhealthy, she'd have a better shot at life? Ironic....

The overall outcome looks positive. She has the "garden variety stage II" tumor. Not the super aggressive grade II. They offered us the choice between radiation afterwards (daily treatments, for many weeks, thousands of $$$ and a 95% cure rate) or chemo (weekly treatment for weeks, fewer thousands of $$$ and an 85% cure rate). We have no real choice but to go with the chemo. Not only is the radiation totally not in the budget (not that the chemo is either!) but to take her daily would cut in to our own money making capabilities and then we'd never be able to pay for this. i hate to put money in to the mix but realistically, there is no other choice.

With all that being said, i wish that any doctor that i have ever dealt with for my illnesses made me feel as confident as this guy. Dr. C was amazing. He gave us a written report of all the details that we spoke about, because we all know how you get home from one of these appointments and your mind is just blank. "What did he say?" plus, you just gotta love a Dr who will sit on the floor for 45 minutes going over the treatment options, while stroking and patting the patient (and calling her "monkey") {though, if MY doctors had done that to me it might have been a bit weird.....}
The hospital itself is beautiful, really state of the art. It's open 24 hours, 7 days. It has valet parking. Really, i'm not kidding! So, as stressful as this is, at least we'll be in beautiful surroundings during treatment.

i know we have a lot of people across the country who are keeping us in their thoughts and prayers. i want you guys to know that makes a huge difference to Master & i. Therefore, you all are not allowed to uncross your fingers, toes and paws just yet. i'll keep the updates coming as i am able.

If....

2010-05-06T12:39:00.001-07:00

If you are doing yard work in front of the house and you do sets of one handed overhead shoulder press with this:

Your neighbors will run away in fright. *grin*

If you have trouble doing math while working out and you accidentally put too much weight on the leg press machine, and you lift the weight successfully anyway - enjoy it. However, do not not be ashamed to realize that the ominous creaking in your knees means that you moved the weight up too fast and should back it down again for a few weeks.
With that said, you can still gloat that you did 2 sets at 768 lbs.
Even if you only did it because you can't add. (45+45+45+45.....and so on....)

the problem with needing reading glasses

2010-05-04T12:18:00.001-07:00

OK, the problem with needing reading glasses as i get older is not that i have trouble reading at night, in dim light or even that i have more trouble threading a needle when i want to sew. The problem is that as i am halfway through eating a delicious bowl of fresh blackberries (which i washed very well, i might add) is that i notice that i think i see something moving. So i grab my glasses and take a close look.
They... Are....Swarming with teeny tiny bugs. Thousands of them. Which can only mean that i have eaten plenty of them. When i said that i wanted to eat primal, this is not what i had in mind. At all. Blargh!

Fight Back Fridays

2010-04-30T10:08:00.001-07:00

The name behind the recipe: Master loves Rock & Roll - which means he loves Ted Nugent. The Nuge, while being a phenomenal musician, is a little too conservative for my tastes so i tease Master about listening to him so much. Whenever He listens to Ted's song "Great White Buffalo", i sing "Free Tiny Buffalo"....Which is a joke from the book "Steal This Book" by Abbie Hoffman. Abby is/was about as far to the Left of Ted as possible. (while i never got to meet Abbie, i did spend a lot of time hanging out with Yippies during the early 80's.)

So, what does this have to do with food? i'm getting to that! i've been trying to eat better and one of the ways to do that is to eat grass fed/grass finished meats. Cows (and buffalos!) are grass eaters, not grain eaters. The way we raise cattle in feed lots, eating grain, produces unhealthy animals. Eating grass, the way they were intended to, produces healthier meat with a fatty acid balance that is much better for us. So, i made a curry with my first foray in to buffalo.
Free Tiny Buffalo Curry
1 TBS COCONUT OIL
16 OZ GROUND BUFFALO
2 YELLOW ONIONS, DICED
2 CLOVES GARLIC, SMASHED
FRESH GINGER, PEELED, DICED FINE (i used about 2 TBS.)
1 heaping tsp Garam Masala
1/2 tsp Turmeric
Fresh ground black pepper, to taste
Fish Sauce, to taste (If you don't have this, you could probably use Tamari or soy sauce or just salt. But it's really best with the fish sauce)
2 Red or Yellow bell peppers, diced
2 zucchini, diced
A big handful of cherry or grape tomatoes
1 cup coconut milk (not low fat, get the real kind, not sweetened.)

Melt coconut oil to pan, over medium-high heat saute the buffalo, breaking it up as it cooks. When it's about halfway cooked, add in diced onions, ginger, garlic. Keep it moving so you don't burn the garlic....After the onions become translucent, add the garam masala and the turmeric and black pepper. Stir that around and mix it in well. (Note - turmeric will stain your wooden spoons bright yellow. You are warned.) Add in the diced peppers & zucchini & tomatoes - sauté for a few more minutes then add in the coconut milk. Bring to a simmer for about 15 minutes. Give it a taste and add fish sauce. i used about a tablespoon. Simmer for a few more minutes and get ready to feast.
Serve over rice, if you're eating grains or if you're being all "primal/paleo" you could serve this over "riced cauliflower". (i'm not putting a link for that, you can google it yourself. And for all you cauliflower haters out there - Even Master eats this and He was not a fan of the cauliflower. Give it a try!)

i made this again last night using bone-in chicken thighs, it came out great. i'm also pretty sure if you added a squeeze of lime and a handful of cilantro and chopped scallions you'd be in for an even bigger blast of deliciousness.
So, that's my grass fed, healthy fat, lots of veggies included recipe for today.
Fight back and reclaim real food!

753 lbs

2010-04-26T12:47:00.001-07:00

Short post today. Master & i both did 753 lb leg presses yesterday. :-)
i did a set of 20 reps, i have no idea what He did.... i nearly lost my mind laughing because there was a guy riding a stationary bike a few feet away from me and he was hooting and hollering as i was lifting. *grin* It's nice to have fans!

We also added these "floor wipers" to our routine. Let's just say that i am very aware of every muscle in my core today. Very aware.

LiLu continued....

2010-04-22T12:17:00.001-07:00

The good news is she's recovering from the surgery like the champion that she is.
The bad news is that due to the size of the tumor, they didn't take it all out. Instead they did a really big biopsy and sent to out for grading. If it's a stage 3....not good. If it's a 1 or 2, then we can take it from there. To be honest, since it's so large....the prognosis isn't very good at all. Which is really hard to believe since she's so darn feisty. No sign of illness, no slowing down, no sluggishness.

In the mean time, she wears her E-collar when i'm not home, she can't hang out with Taybor when i'm not around to stop all of her shenanagans. (even all stitched up as she is, she's still being provocative and humping Taybor all the time.) (that's my girl!) We'll find out the biopsy results sometime next week. Here's a picture of a cheese and peanut butter and amoxicillin bomb that she gets to eat 4x a day.

Fight Back Fridays

2010-04-16T11:19:00.001-07:00

This was the original post i had planned for today, before we got the not-so-good news about Miss Lilu.

So, in the continuing saga of seeking good health and just generally being a foodie nerd, i've been doing a bunch of stuff that i haven't written about here. After all, this isn't a food blog, right? Well, no. However, after sitting in on Bootpig's class at South Plains on "Service Upgrades", i've come to realize that there is so much more to service & Mastery/slavery than just the daily "drama" of submission. Of course, i always knew that but never felt it was appropriate to write about. Who wants to hear about how my baking homemade sourdough dropped my Master's triglyceride levels? Oh...wait. You do want to hear about that? So, maybe this is a food blog after all?

Anyway, i've decided to participate in Fight Back Fridays with Food Renegade. i'll be sharing more of my food adventures and....experiments. (yes, some do go awry. Yes, i am talking about the cauliflower kimchee.) (Not to mention the kombucha tea. Blargh.)

So, Master has had issues with crazy high triglyceride counts. His diet is fairly good, but definitely heavy on commercial breads. After His last crazy blood test, He threw out all the bread in the house. i was sad... after all, i like bread. i started doing some research in to what could be driving up the triglycerides. We all know commercial white bread isn't all that good for you. We've come to learn that there are certain chemicals in grains that are not so good for you, unless the grain is soaked beforehand. So...how do i soak flour before i make bread? That sounded like a huge "Little house on the Prairie" sort of challenge. i'm all for food adventure but i wasn't really willing to take on the task of milling all my own flour. Back to the research.... Ah Ha! Sourdough! The flour is soaked and fermented (which brings out even more benefits, nutritionally speaking) i've got a system down that enables me to make 2 loaves of sourdough bread with less than 10 minutes of work. Yes, there's the fermenting time, but that hardly counts, as i am not doing anything. i get it started on Thursday night, i mix it Friday morning, bake it in the evening and we have bread to last for the week. After doing this for a year, Master has had nothing but amazing blood tests. Yup, He eats the bread and it's not wreaking havoc with the triglycerides. Even if i make it with white flour. Really.

Is that worth 10 minutes of work on my part? Yup.
Is that SERVICE that a slave can provide for Master? Yup.
(it's not just the good tasting bread, it's the fact that just maybe i am extending His life in a delicious way.)
i was intending on doing photos to show the process but i honestly got derailed with the news about LiLu. Perhaps next week......

LiLu....Oy....

2010-04-16T07:40:00.000-07:00

So.... it turns out that that "don't worry, it's just a cyst" thing on my LiLu's leg is actually a Mast cell tumor. Yeah. Not good at all. i feel like a terrible dog mother for not insisting that the vet test it back when it was smaller. She's headed in for surgery on Tuesday morning. i'm really not happy about this at all. With this type of tumor, they really need to take a wide area of flesh around it to make sure they got it all. However, it's on her leg so they can't do that. (Unless they take off her leg, but let's not go there yet.....)
i'll be spending a good portion of the weekend trying to dig out her crate since she's going to be confined for at least a week after the surgery. *sigh*

RIP Pete Steele....

2010-04-15T10:46:00.001-07:00

Pete was a good guy, whenever i had the chance to interact with him he was nothing but a gentleman to me. When his band, Type-O Negative, was starting to take off, he'd still take time to talk to "the little people" (and, yes, i mean that literally, since he was a mighty 6'7" hunk of man) i enjoyed talking about music and tattoos with him. He will be missed. A lot.

silly fan-girl & heavy lifts

2010-04-13T12:12:00.001-07:00

So, in my silly fan girl news... my favorite body builder came through for me and sent both Master and me an autographed photo each. Super cool!
In my weight lifting news - i *did* move my weights up on my leg press, so i ended up doing 728 last week and then this past Sunday, Master plopped on some more weight so i am now up to a 738 leg press, 2 sets of 20 reps each. i've always had strong legs but this is making me super proud of my strength! whoo hooo!
Also, my weight is still dropping. It's slow, less than a pound per week. However, considering that i've been beating my head against a wall for the last couple of years to lose anything at all, despite going to the gym regularly - it's a blessed relief. So, drum roll please...here's what i've started taking as a supplement. Creatine monohydrate. Yup, the same creatine that bodybuilders take to get bigger. i'm not telling anyone to take it. All i am saying is that i am seeing some results from it. A little more energy, a little less exhaustion, a moderate amount of weight loss. Coupled with hard workouts, walking, a clean diet... it's so easy! (not) But i will not be dissuaded, discouraged, or disheartened.

2010-04-01T12:42:00.001-07:00

Times flies.... what's new? Still leg pressing 708 lbs. This Sunday (Easter) will be the day that i move up the weight, if all goes well. Master & i will take inventory on my knees, etc and then see if it's really time to move up the weight. :-) Wheeee!
i sent a fan-girl email to my favorite body builder and got a reply. i am such a dork.
i started taking some minerals, herbs and other supplements this month and Lo & Behold, after well over 2 years of struggle, got rid of a pound. No kidding! i'm afraid to say it out loud..... if i keep progressing, however slow, then i'll post what i'm taking but until then, i'm keeping it under my hat. i'm not pushing anyones products until it's proven itself to me.
What else is new? Someone near and dear to me finally "came out" 2 weeks ago. (no, not Ricky Martin!) i'm not saying who, because i don't think they want to make this in to general knowledge... but i'm super proud of them!
That's my update for now. i gotta wrap up my work here and then head out for my 3 day weekend!
Happy Happy Happy!

busy busy bee

2010-03-08T09:43:00.000-08:00

What a busy week. Trying to settle back in from SPLF. A lot of processing of information and ideas and feelings. "Event drop" this time wasn't too bad, but still bad enough. Plus it's March and those who know me know that March is always a really rough month for me emotionally. Some years it's worse than others. Sometimes it starts off ok but ends up completely slamming me by the 15th. i take it as it comes.
Saturday as we headed out for the gym , i noticed a beautiful young husky running loose. Of course, we had to drop everything and hunt her down. She was wearing a harness and tags so we knew she was a well loved pup. She also had some super speedy legs. She lead us on a merry romp thru the mud & fields in the neighborhood. i was pleased with how many people tried to help us but equally shocked how many people just turned their backs and walked away. Sad. Eventually we got her cornered and managed to tackle her. Just as Master was wrestling her down and cars went whizzing by, her completely distraught dog-father came running up sobbing. i think he thought she got hit by a car, since we kind of had her pinned down to the ground at that point. It wa a happy and gratifying reunion! Our good deed for the day!
Sunday we kicked serious butt at the gym - we both did (drum roll please) 708 lb leg presses! Whoo Hoo! If only i could get my arms to catch up to my leg strength. :-)
Looking forward to a good week. Peace!

adoption day & toxic overload

2010-03-04T12:04:00.000-08:00

Today is Lilu's adoption day! I can't believe she's been with us since 2004. i sang to her this morning ("Li li li li li lu"-to the tune of happy birthday) and she howled and barked and spun around in a circle. Fun!
Last night was not so fun. From 3:30 in the afternoon i couldn't stop yawning and i get really cold. by the time i got home at 5, i was completely wiped out, chills, fever. Master put me to bed and i slept for 5 hours, got up and drank a half gallon of water and went back to bed until this morning. i feel much better. What the heck was *that* all about? Maybe toxic overload from all that Jack in the Box food this past weekend? Either way, feeling better. i'll try to lay low for the rest of the day and see if i've beaten this bug.
Also -i'm crossing my paws for a good friend and i hope she gets the good news today and gets to "pick up" what she's been waiting for! :-)

Recharged and refreshed and full of ponderings.

2010-03-04T07:56:00.000-08:00

So, in the 6 weeks leading up to SPLF, i was beginning to feel more and more apprehensive. i just did not want to go. i tried analyzing it myself and finally, later rather than sooner, came clean with ML that i really just didn't want to go. i just wasn't sure if it was the money, which is still in short supply, or if i was afraid of finishing up the new classes (new classes which, of course, push every one of my own buttons and issues) or what. Master didn't have a good answer for what was bothering me.... but the night before we were going to leave, as it looked like we might get snowed in, i blurted out "i'm ok with not going, i'm tired of all these fake people anyway."
Master looked at me like i had 2 heads. 'What fake people? You don't mean in Dallas, do you?"
"well, no.... but...."

Yeah, so it turns out that because i'm just not happy with my interaction with people on the internets and on certain email groups that i'm on, i was lashing out at the Leather Community as a whole. We ended up being able to fly out on time and once we got there, i spent a lot of time talking to MW, who helped me to be able to put a lot of stuff in perspective. He's going thru many similar things, and in having conversations with other people on the same topic, i think all of our local communities are going through a flux right now. This is purely my opinion, a goodly portion of it is a sense of entitlement that is absolutely rampant. Also people (of both the M and the s persuasion) trying to grab power from outside rather seeking power within themselves. It's funny how when i complained about what i was seeing and feeling, that people from all over the country would laugh and say "But are you sure you're not from MY town? Because it's the same there too!" Which made me laugh but at the same time made me really quite sad. Because that means i can't get away from this!

But, such is life. It's never static, it's almost always wildly entertaining in a "oh-shoot-what's-happening-*now*-kind of way. i ended up having a great time, both our classes went really, really well. i absolutely adored the individuals and families that shared with the group all of their own trials and tribulations. i ended up completely melting down after the last class because i was so moved by the people who showed up (and i mean *showed up*!) to participate. From E. and her new Master, to the Triad who added so much to the conversation, to "Mr. Nickelback t-shirt" (He's always in our classes but i never remember His name....lol... but He adds so much!) (and His girl is so darn CUTE!) (and strong!)

i'm glad we made it there, i remember now why i love doing what i do. i remember why i love this community. i remember now that the first time i walking in the door at South Plains, i knew that i was finally home. my heart is full again!

2009-11-09T16:04:00.000-08:00

In the past few weeks, I found this lovely website and entered a contest /give away for these loverly cuff links. Lucky me, I won them. Even more luckily, I had recently picked up a French cuffed men’s shirt for a dollar at the local thrift store. Delightful! Now I can wear it properly instead of rolling up the sleeves. They look even better in real life, no funky crystal eyes but they do have crossed bones behind them. Please do check out the website. It’s a lot of fun.

We had something “returned” to us that I wasn’t even aware was lost…. So, that just made me laugh, out loud and otherwise. I could be annoyed but really, why bother? It’s much more funny and sad than anything to be angry over.

I received an email from an old and very Dear friend of mine, asking the spelling of my maiden name as he wants to use some promotional photos that I took for him about a million years ago. Of course he had the spelling correct and of course I wholeheartedly embrace the project. It’s nice to get the credit since I had so many of my photos used with out permission back in the day. (Yes, Doug Carrion, I am talking about you and the cover of Dag Nasty’s Field Day album!) Respect of intellectual property and art is a very important thing, don’t you think? I should have copies of the project in my hot little hands around the holidays. It’ll be a 20 year anniversary re-issue of something that was so close to my heart at the time. I don’t want to say more than that right now…..i am just still so stunned that it’s been twenty years. Time flies.

On the weight lifting front, I had the brilliant idea to add hack squats to the set. Oy, my aching thighs! It’ll be worth it in the long run – my back doesn’t hurt as much as it did and I know it’ll strengthen my knees (which are a screwed up mass of cartilage stew) enough so that I will be able to do “real” squats eventually. In the mean time, I press on with my leg press progress and did 548 lbs yesterday. Without puking, I might add. Although, I really wanted to, especially after the second set of 15 reps.

All the other weights are also progressing. Upper body work where I was stuck in the same weight ranges forever have finally begun to be increased. Part of the slowness in the increase was the fact that I started with so little upper body strength, that I lose some range of motion from the IV Port surgery and have some shrunken tendons as a result of some of the medications that I took. The other part of the slowness is the fact that I was just being lazy, stubborn and feeling sorry for myself. I’ve been working hard to keep in mind that when I work out I am achy and sore and feel like crap and when I DON’T work out, i am still achy and sore and feel like crap. (this is residue from the illness that will most likely never go away) So, my options are work out or don’t work out and either way – I will still have random body aches and exhaustion. At least if I am working at getting stronger, then it’s moving in a positive direction. Even if I don’t see or feel the gain. It’s there. I heard someone say this week “I’m being proactive in my negativity” and that made me laugh but then I realized that is sort of what I have to do right now.

Getting ready to dig in to the next book on the list that Master wants me to tackle. It’s nice to read things that he’s suggested. I think it’s been pretty obvious in the way my attitude has changed that I am getting something out of it. I can’t wait to get started and so… off I go!

Lucky me!

2009-10-27T16:29:00.000-07:00

This is taking place right down the street from where i work! i guess i'll be charging up my camera and taking some pictures.... i've never seen real live maniacs before.
Estimates from the police are that they're expecting a few hundred counter protesters at the High School and several thousand on the Rutgers University campus.

This is a press release from New Jersey: Smash the Westboro Baptist Church.

On October 28th, the Westboro Baptist Church (aka God Hates Fags) will be showing their faces in New Brunswick, NJ to picket the local high school then the Jewish Center at Rutgers. The W.B.C. is notorious for harassing gays and lesbians, as well as promoting a racist, sexist and homophobic agenda against anyone who doesn't share their crazed and insane ideology. The W.B.C. will NOT be ignored and allowed to pass through our city without a confrontation. The Westboro Baptist Church IS NOT WELCOME in our community. We intend to stop them.

Here is a link to their whole schedule of events in the NJ area:
http://www.godhatesfags.com/schedule.html

10/28/09
7:30-8:00am
New Brunswick High School
1125 Livingston Ave, New Brunswick, NJ

10/28
8:45-9:15am
Rutgers Hillel
93 College Ave, New Brunswick, NJ

A very Dull Roar

2009-10-14T17:56:00.001-07:00

Master was at work early, worked until the afternoon, worked out, went home, *did laundry* (i am a lucky slave to have a Master who would do laundry to help a sick and drowning-in-work slave!) made & ate dinner alone, dealt with some small time crap and then had to go back to work.

i got to see Master for about 20 minutes today and the whole time we were together was focused on small time crap. What a fucking waste. i'm angry at myself for getting sucked in to some small time crap that isn't even worth talking about. i shouldn't have been surprised.

Now it's 8:20 pm and i won't get to see Him until late tomorrow. Or more likely Friday.
*************************************************************************************************************************
i'm pluggin' away through the Henry Rollins book, A Dull Roar. Master read that one not too long ago and asked me to read it. It's a hard read. i really like Henry, he was/is a big influence in my life for a lot of years. (Despite having made me wet my pants once. Yes, it's true and it was non-consensual) It's difficult for me to read how hard everything is for him. However, since he and i have a lot in common (depression, rage, fear of people, love of good music and deep hatred of bullshit) it's been really good for me to see how he deals with that and what lessons i can apply to my own life.

Reading this made me look up the old article from Details magazine about Iron and the mind. i'm not linking to it, if you want to read it just google Iron+Henry Rollins. You'll find it. Just a tiny snippit: "People have become separated from their bodies. They are no longer whole. I see them move from their offices to their cars and on to their suburban homes. They stress out constantly, they lose sleep, they eat badly. And they behave badly. Their egos run wild; they become motivated by that which will eventually give them a massive stroke. They need the Iron Mind." (i think Joe Cornish would like this article! Hint Hint!)

i'm certainly not saying the Henry has all the answers, i know that HE would never say that, but there are some nuggets of truth to be gleaned from a person who has lived life so hard and takes those truths he's worked out for himself so seriously. i'm glad Master asked me to read this one. It's done me a world of good.

--
Confrontation. Discipline. Application.
-Henry Rollins

FOR TODAY 10-/13/09...

2009-10-13T12:39:00.000-07:00

Outside My Window...It’s a cloudy grey day, but there are deer stalking about in the woods behind my job!
I am thinking...about dinner!
I am thankful for...being able to do a 468 lb leg press at the gym…and still being able to walk.
From the slave quarters… getting ready to judge Mr. & Ms. NJ Leather this weekend.
From the kitchen...there’s a new sourdough starter bubbling away.
I am wearing...the ugliest green plaid dress in the world. But it’s comfy, so I don’t care if it’s hideous. I am also wearing grey and black striped socks with skulls on them and sneakers. (There goes my Leather girl cred, right out the window)
I am creating...cauliflower Kimchee. Is there such a thing? We’ll see in a week or two. Maybe all I’m making is 10 lbs of spicy cauliflower compost.
I am going...home in half an hour!
I am reading...A Dull Roar by Henry Rollins. It’s making me tired. That man lives at a pace that makes my Master look like a piker.
I am hoping...i feel good enough to workout tomorrow. (Tonsils flared up on Sunday)
I am hearing...The Cult, Sonic Temple
Around the house...Lilu is wandering around with her stapled, oozing leg – looking pathetic and acting unstoppable. She’s my skinny, weird looking, tough-as-nails pup.
One of my favorite things...my new, giant, fully body encompassing body pillow. It’s a pillow, no it’s a nest! NO, it’s a coccoon!
A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: gearing up for the contest, and lots of time spent with Jake planning for Thanksgiving! (did I mention I love Jake?)
Here is picture thought I am sharing: Lilu with her Elizabethan collar on, so she won’t eat her staples.

Enjoy the sillence

2009-10-07T08:55:00.000-07:00

Things have been bad, bad, bad lately.
i had my hours cut at work, as well as a swell pay cut. Plus i was told that i need to "step it up" and do more. Umm, ok... as they've gradually let people go or fired them over the years, i've picked up the work of others and now i do the work of 6 other people. i kid you not. But i need to step it up. Yeah.

So, all that in addition to whatever snarkyness is going on, general random hostility in the "scene", basic ill behavior, etc, etc is just wearing me down to the nub. i'm just so darn tired. i try really hard to be of the "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything" school of thought. Hmm.... but that's lead to being silent on the blog for months as well as being known as Silent barb. (oops, there i go being snarky too.)

So, that's all i'll say for now and i'll leave you all with a bit of beauty from my walk in the woods on this past Sunday. Beautiful Autumn leaves on a bed of moss.

Alice in Wonderland.....

2009-06-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

New Tim Burton movie coming out. Yay! But, somehow this still from the movie looks really familiar to me and i'm not at all sure why. Weird. It's reminding me of someone and i can't for the life of me remember who. Well, anyway, it certainly doesn't matter.

i know i've been MIA for quite sometime. Things have been rough for me, this whole imbalanced thyroid thing is a pain in the butt. Dr. W adjusted my synthroid and now i have some pills in the most lovely shade of Robin's egg blue. And, let me tell you, "peri-monopause" is really for the birds. But other than minor physical complaints, i can't whine too much. i enjoy the month of June, since i get to spend time with my Family, from NYC, To Asbury, Atlanta and beyond. :-)

Pick of the Day

2009-04-23T09:50:00.001-07:00

Taybor is the pet Pick of the Day at the 1010wins.com website!

Lilu is also featured, but she's not the cover-girl! :-)
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It's all covered with spots!

2009-02-19T08:35:00.000-08:00

my tonsils, i mean. Oy! i feel like crap. However, not quite so crappy that i can take the day off from work. i just saw my regular doctor... for the first time since the year we competed at South Plains. Heh, so i guess i've been doing really well. i mean, i've had the sniffles and other assorted miseries but no tonsillitis or sinus infections or other grue and slime inducing illnesses.

S, here i am, back at work, eating home made sourdough bread (if anyone local wants some of the culture, just let me know), listening to Peter Murphy and believe it or not, pondering a quote from Mother Teresa. Does this apply to M/s and/or the way slaves worry too much about stuff they have little or no business worrying about?

Don't give in to discouragement. If you are discouraged it is a sign of pride because it shows you trust in your own powers. Never bother about people's opinions. Be obedient to truth. For with humble obedience, you will never be disturbed.
--- Mother Teresa of Calcutta

The word for today is.....

2009-01-28T10:17:00.001-08:00

Fealty.

Or maybe this one: Fidelity.

You can take Your pick. i'm not judging. i am merely presenting definitions for words or concepts that are probably as archaic to some people as the concept of self-control. They are certainly words that i will personally be meditating on in the next few days.

i bid you peace.

******************************************
On an entirely separate note regarding my post from yesterday: i did make it to the gym, i did work out and i totally kicked ass! And, when i went home, i discovered that my Master had made me a splendid chicken dinner. i remain the luckiest and most grateful girl in the world.

23.56!!!

2009-01-27T14:01:00.000-08:00

i've been struggling lately and i wasn't sure why. Depression? Am i ill? Crazy? Well, no. i just got back the results from my latest thyroid check. My Dr and the nurse both looked at me in surprise "do you feel ok?" no. "oh, ok, because your numbers are terrible!"

Does anyone else think that i'm nuts for being happy to get crappy test results? Now i feel like there's a reason for how i've been feeling so i'm relieved! Maybe the medicine adjustment will kick in and i'll be feelin' groovy soon. (if anyone's interested in the numbers: they "should" be between 0.4 and 4.5, my last check up showed 3.98, yesterday's test was 23.56!!! so, yeah, my 'roid is outta wack, to say the least!)

So, since i've been having so much trouble keeping my brain fog-free enough to blog, i thought i'd just fill out a little journal prompt to get me going....

FOR TODAY 1/27/09...
Outside My Window...it’s cloudy and COLD! It really feels like it’s going to snow any minute. However, I can also hear squirrels doing that weird chittering noise they make when it’s mating season. So, yes – Spring is coming!
I am thinking...i really don’t want to go to the gym. Yup, I’m whining! I’m tired and I’m cold, I just can’t warm up. The last ting I want to do today is strip off in the cold locker room and change in to my frozen sneakers and gym clothes. Yuck. But I’m going to do it anyway!
I am thankful for...a Master who’s been taking super good care of me while I’ve been feeling like crap.
From the slave quarters…I am struggling. Not with submission but rather with having absolutely zero energy lately. That makes me feel like I’m either lazy or perhaps just crazy.
From the kitchen... I’m trying to plan the menu for the upcoming Superbowl feast. After all, it is a religious holiday in Master’s Household! :-)
I am wearing...my ridiculous purple boots that are lined with polar fleece. Hey! I said I was cold! Fashion be damned, I can’t stand cold piggies.
I am creating...i’ve been doing a lot of sewing lately. I’ve finished 3 old, half-done projects. A vest with a funky lining, a goofy dress with pink rick-rack trim and a skirt.
I am going...to collapse on the couch with a cup of tea as soon as I get home.
I am reading...Horses at the Gate by Mary Mackey.
I am hoping...that my new Thyroid medication makes me feel better.
I am hearing...Gary Numan, from the Replicas album and also the Pick-Ticket Printer at work is clacking away in the background.
Around the house...i took yesterday off and cleaned the kitchen. Long over due! Next up, my bathroom.
One of my favorite things... Here’s my new favorite thing: Master has learned how to duplicate the cool finger tip snapping thing that my Chinese massage therapist does. Yummy!
A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: trying to get to the gym, hopefully a big snow storm tonight and tomorrow (snow day!) and then, we’re going to see Metallica on Saturday evening. So, I’ll be deaf on Sunday. *grin*

water!

2008-12-15T13:54:00.000-08:00

The water saga might be over.... many thousand of dollars later, we have a new copper water pipe and a couple of tons of new top soil.
Here's a picture of the work in progress.

i'm just glad i wasn't home while they were using a jackhammer in the kitchen!

The infertile cresent.

2008-12-05T09:46:00.000-08:00

Yeah, ok so i disappeared again. i really don't feel like talking about
this at all, but for some reason i feel like i have to explain myself.
A couple of months back, i thought i was pregnant. Well, i either just
missed a period because i am now fabulously peri-menopausal or i really
was pregnant. So, when i finally got my period....it was devastating.
Because it means: Either i miscarried or i am becoming no longer able
to sustain/create/carry a new life.

So, i've been a big black hole of despair for a while now. i am working
though this in my own way. There's really not a lot of guidance that
anyone can give me on how i should handle my feelings because no one
can tell me how to feel! i just need to grieve in my own way, for my
own reasons, until i am done grieving.

So, my intrepid readers: No, i do not want to talk about this. No pats
on the back, no knowing looks, and for Goddess' sake, please don't tell
me that i'll get over it. Or i'll scream.

SI SU PUEDE!

2008-11-04T20:09:00.001-08:00

9/25/08

2008-09-25T13:55:00.001-07:00

Ever feel like you're running through molasses? Yeah, that's how i've
been feeling. Frustrated. So, how do i combat this feeling? Waiting for
the new gym to open. i got so excited to make a change and now i'm
dragging my feet. At least i've been able to up the number of days that
i'm going, so that's a step in the right direction.

i both love and hate Master's new hours at work. i love that he's at
the gym when i get there and that He sometimes stays to kick my butt
and make me lift harder. However, that means our evening gets started
later so the dogs are suffering shorter walks (it's getting really dark
here early) and we get less time together. Dinner feels more on the run
and i hate that. i/we need to do some more planning and/or rescheduling
to get our time back at night.

Work has been frustrating. Just not moving with projects that i need to
get done and getting no support to get it done. Today we only had 2
people in the office and it was all i could do to handle the phones!
Never mind digging on to any projects. Oy! i'g going to have to sit
down with my boss and talk about this tomorrow and try to get some
support.

i leave next Friday for my SoulCollage training and i feel so
unprepared! i have about 20 cards made, which i feel good about but i
haven't been doing the exercises that i should be doing to get ready. i
just feel so scattered that it's hard to sit down and do any kind of
deep internal spiritual work. (i think that's just my own resistance
talking but that's a whole other issue!) i did manage to reach out to
someone who is going to the training and she seems pretty intimidated
so i told her when she got scared or nervous or shy, i'd be right there
with her. So, maybe we can connect while we're down there. That would
be loverly for me!

i've also made a list of projects that have been started at home and
not finished, so i've managed to finish 1 skirt, 1 pair of bloomers
(don't even ask!), a dress (wearing it now) and part of a jacket.
Repaired a pair of Master's jeans also. Pshew! Busy.

i guess for someone who feels like they're getting nothing accomplished, i'm actually doing really well.

Internet Anonymity

2008-09-24T13:47:00.001-07:00

An interesting article on Internet anonymity and people's bad behavior. i'm sure it's something that we're all guilty of at one time or another. Some of us struggle with it. A lot.

Check it out here.

Today

2008-09-11T12:17:00.001-07:00

Make sure to hug your loved ones and tell them what they mean to you. Remember they could be gone in an instant.

Steve: You and your family are in my thoughts today. Your dad was an amazing man. He raised a beautiful son. Be at peace.

9/5/08 the weekend

2008-09-08T12:35:00.001-07:00

Well, i think Master had a great birthday weekend. It was really nice
to get to spend that much time with Master Taino and slave bobby. The
presentation that we got to see twice (Masters in service) was great.
It's something that Master Larry and i lived while i was sick and
through the surgeries that i had. i've heard a lot of slaves say that
they find it hard to receive that kind of service from their Masters,
that it's "just not right".

i try to look at it as: when i 'let' Master care for me, i am
serving Him by allowing Him to grow to His full potential as a caring
and nurturing individual. i feel that i need to keep my heart open to
be able to serve in whatever manner that i am called to, and if that
service comes in some unexpected, un-orthodox way that pushes my
comfort level - then so be it. It's a growth opportunity!

Friday night we went to the Leather bar night in Asbury Park. It
was great to see our NJ Family again. Most special to me though was as
we were standing outside the bar, we could hear the roar of the surf
(TS Hanna was rolling in). Master took me down to walk on the beach and
right up to the surf! It was incredible to see the ocean in such a
frenzy. As rough as the ocean was being, there were these tiny shore
birds sifting the sand for food. They were tiny, like mice, but
unafraid to run right up to the edge of the sea and to do what they
needed to do. i think there's some kind of lesson in that. Maybe i need to do some more edge running my self?

Sunday after the meeting we headed over to the Eagle for the NYboL car
wash and to see all my brothers. Fun! It was so good to see Jake and
all the other boys and spiky and his new pup (YUMMY!) and get some more time in with Master Taino and
slave bobby. The Eagle is selling a new line of t-shirts and tank tops
that are really nice. i also wanted to drop off a card to someone but
they weren't around. *sigh* Meh, no big deal, i shouldn't be beating my
self up over this one, anyway.

Still reaching out and building a friendship with some one here in NJ. Amazing person, this one is. *grin* i also found out that i'm going to an amazing concert in January! wheee! i like good people in my life. i'm in a pretty happy place right now. Lucky girl!

Mwah ha ha!

2008-09-05T09:47:00.001-07:00

Evil mad scientist laugh!
i pointed out to Master that the front screen of the now defunct t.v. that He was throwing out was actually a giant Fresnel lens. That i would have lots of fun playing with that.

When i came home from getting my hair cut last night, (Yes, i changed it again!) Master had pulled out the lens for me! Heh!

i played this video for Him and i think He's now realizing that letting me have this to play with is quite possibly the most ridiculous thing He's EVER done! *grin* i'm really not planning to use it for evil, there will be no frying of dogs or nor will i wait until Master is asleep then sneak up and light His feet on fire! Really. i promise. What i really want to do is make a solar cooker to use at work. Somehow, the thought of me cooking a pot of spaghetti in the parking lot in front of my job strikes me as a great way to spend my lunch hour. Of course, melting the sidewalk is also an option. (Then there's the fact that playing with the lens requires me to wear a pair of goggles from my ever expanding collection. This enables me to justify that they're not just a fetish, they're actually practical.)(Ok, really, they're just a fetish.) (But they are useful.) (And pretty.)

Science!

FRESNEL LENS 1 SUN COLLECTOR

Mommy dearest

2008-09-01T16:38:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of my Mother.... she was young and, i think, happy here. i wish i'd know her when she was happy. i don't know what else to say. She passed on 9/1/1999. A few years ago, i scattered her ashes in NY Harbor as i took the ferry in to Manhattan to spend the day with a special friend. Death and Life. i'm not afraid of either any more.

RIP Del Martin

2008-08-27T13:25:00.001-07:00

Thank you for all of your hard work and for never giving up the fight to be free and respected and loving who you chose to love.

It's a good day!

2008-08-21T16:35:00.000-07:00

my day started off rough, the ragweed pollen is still kicking my butt. i muddled though some mayhem with my clients, and by the end of my first visit i think i nailed down a huge chunk of new business. The weather was so beautiful, i got to really enjoy my time on the road, had a fantastic $3.79 meal at my favorite new cheap eats place: Pollo Tropical. Yummy. Grilled chicken, rice and beans... can't beat it.

No sooner did i get back in the office, my boss let us out at 4 pm! i got to the gym at the same time as Master, we egged each other on... and some how... i'm not sure how this happened.... i bench pressed 100 lbs... twice! Holy Mo! i super happy about this and, we all know how it goes in this household - if you did the weight one time, it's your new weight. "No Backsies!" as we would shout as kids. i feel good. Really good right now. (ok, maybe a little sore. But good.)

During dinner, i glanced outside and there was a hummingbird doing hummingbird things in the yard. Nice. It's been a good day.

deep breath....

2008-08-15T08:00:00.001-07:00

OK, so i thought "well, i'll do an entry once i settle down from the conference." Well, it's been a week and this weekend we're off to teach at the floating world so i figured i'd better get an entry in here quick!

If you, my intrepid readers, have been keeping up on Master Larry's blog, you've seen that He's earned that new job He's been after! i'm so proud of Him. It's so exciting to watch how enthusiastic He is when taking on a new project or responsibility. He also found out that He's getting an office. With a window! *happy dance*

The M/s conference was fabulous. slave catherine and i, along with the Philly crew presented slave lara with a leather patch. i've been saying for a while that it's a shame that slaves don't get recognized by their peers with leather. i mean, just serving our Masters should be enough, right? i partialy agree with that.... but since we're all human - being recognized for our growth and service to the community by others, our peers, is so vital to keep those fires stoked. It was a great experience. Big thanks to catherine to make sure i followed through on this.

slave paul was also able to serve, face to face this weekend. The thing i loved most about that, aside from just getting to spend time with a sweet soul that i just never get any time with, was just how naturally he fit in with Master and i. Sometimes i think it's hard for other people to fit with us, because we have that rhythm of motion that's formed from being together for such a long time. Even walking together can be a challenge. Well, that's mostly due to my clown feet, but still, trying to all be in our positions, doing the "i'll open the door" dance that slaves love to do.... Yeah, things went very smoothly.

Master also offered slave paul some tags of ownership, like i wear, and household crest patches for his shirts. i feel good about this next step in the relationship. i happy and i'm comfortable. Excellent!

On the gym front.. (man, this is going to be an epic post) i can't wait to get started at the new gym. i feel like i've really been dicking around at the gym and in general since i had my splenectomy. The meds i was on while i was at the height of my illness made my tendons shorter, so i lost a lot of flexibility. (is that not one of the weirdest side effects you've ever heard of???) They also *helped* me gain 35 lbs. So.... Um, it's time to get real here - It's been 4 years since the surgery and i stopped taking that medication. The only weight i've lost in that time was when i was under some severe "relationship stress" and had what i'll call a "dietary episode" and stopped eating and so lost 15 lbs in 2 weeks.

Being constantly on the road during the title years certainly didn't help. i ate more fast food in those 2 years than i did in the previous 20. No joke! It used to be that if i had pizza more than twice a year, it was a huge deal. Plus i was a very strict vegetarian for a long time (10 years? 15? who can remember....)

After this weekend, we'll have completed our last official title obligation (for the year). We'll not be on the road constantly. i'll have quite a bit more control over what i can eat, not having to decide between Taco Bell and KFC! Time to get back to cooking my meals for the week on Sunday, which allows me to hit the gym hard after work and know that i have a good dinner ready for me.

Right now is a great time for a fresh start: new gym, less travel, change of seasons - i still get excited around 'back to school time'! (For me, the new school year always meant a chance for all new good possibilities). Plus it'll just be so much fun starting a new gym routine while my friend Joe is just getting started at his new gym. (If only i could get Taybor and LiLu to be a cute and well behaved as Ruby...)

i just need to get through this weekend. *deep breath*

HIP HIP HURRAY!

2008-08-13T13:10:00.001-07:00

Details to follow...
Yes, i am keeping y'all in suspense!

8/6/2008

2008-08-06T10:03:00.001-07:00

Master gave me 3 blessed days of making as much art as i could stand. my hands are almost back to being a normal colour. Almost. Now i have a ton of mono prints ready to be made in to.... oh, i don't know yet. i'll think of something.

Now that i'm back to getting prepared to leave for the conference, there's no a whole lot of time for art. i managed to squeeze in a few SoulCollage cards this week, which is nice. i've got it worked out that i need to have a small tool kit with me all the time so i can just whip out my scissors and make a card at anytime. i want to get as many done as possible before i go for the SoulCollage Facilitator training in October! Eek!

And here's one more photo i'd like to share from my time away from blogland:

Yeah, i got tired of the long hair. :-) i grew it for a year.

Monday = Massage!

2008-07-21T10:00:00.001-07:00

i asked Master if we could make Mondays massage day. How could He possibly say no? i have a massage table, we like touching each other. i feel it will be a good way to start off the week. i'm looking forward to my turn on the table tonight. Master and i worked on each others backs and necks all weekend, we're both feeling pretty sore from pummeling each other in a therapeutic way. But tonight, i think tonight is going to be less therapeutic and more fabulous!

Blargh! (or: in which i determine my lunch bag is vomit proof!)

2008-07-21T09:55:00.001-07:00

Yeah... ok. So Friday should have been excellent. No boss = me in charge = we leave as soon as we've finished work for the day. Which during the summer is early. Unfortunately, i woke up with a little headache, which turned in to a migraine (but i don't get migraines!). By the time i left work, i was practically delirious. i had to stop twice to spill my guts. The second time, i was less than 2 miles from home. As i'm puking my guts out in to my lunch bag on the side of the road - Master drives by. Singing, drumming on His steering wheel. i weakly wave "hey!" He keeps on going...... He didn't see me! Arrgh! or was that blargh? Sigh.

Work stuff

2008-07-17T12:50:00.001-07:00

i've been so swamped with work issues, trying to keep that pharmaceutical part of our business going. Big responsibility for me to handle. i both love and hate it. Love the challenge, hate the blasted work load. Anyway, today i had to look up some new items for a different client. i found this and almost pee'd myself. Yes, i need a nap people! Really!

Is it dangerous to trespass here because there are GIANTS?!!!

Glad Tidings!

2008-07-09T11:16:00.001-07:00

Whoo Hooo!
i got a call from my Endocrinologist a little while ago - my biopsy is NEGATIVE! Wheeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In other words, my nodules are the "normal" nodules that a person with Hashimoto's thyroiditis. So, yeah, i have an autoimmune disease that's affecting my thyroid but i've know that all along. (most people who have ITP also have some other autoimmune disease)

Thanks to all who've been checking up on Master and i in the past week! i'm now positive that all those good thoughts and prayers had an effect! *grin*

The Biopsy

2008-07-02T13:18:00.001-07:00

OK, so i've been home all day now.... Biopsy went really well. i guess. Ummm - really, i think they should have warned me they were going to light an elephant on fire and cram it through me neck and leave bits of it behind to feel annoying all day. OK, not really a flaming elephant, i'm sure they used standard medical syringes but it sure feels like they used elephants or at least a sword on me.

Oh, the other thing they neglected to say was that they weren't just jabbing me one time. Twice? Nope. Surely, no more than 3 times, right? HA! Four times! The good part was they have a pathologist on hand to make sure the samples are large enough, so i don't get a call in a few days that they need another go around.

Lidocaine is administered to numb out the skin. That however does NOTHING to aleviate the feeling that some one is digging around inside your throat. While pressing down with the ultrasound wand at the same time. Ick.

i feel hoarse. Talking hurts. Swallowing hurts. Sneezing? Let's not go there. So, i stayed home and fiddled with making a steampunk ipod speaker thingy. Nothing like taking your mind off your throat/neck pain by using power tools and really cool sculpture epoxy. Between that and taking a few naps on the couch with the canine dynaic duo and letting ice cream melt in my mouth and slowly trickle down my throat, i've had a very productive day. (the ice cream thing sounds like it might be hot to watch. It's not. Or at least, not hot right now.) Sigh.

Now we play the waiting game until next week. In the mean time - It's almost time for TES Fest! :-) i hope i feel perkier soon.

the nodule

2008-07-01T18:38:00.000-07:00

OK, so it's biopsy eve! Whoo hooo! Um, yeah..... Tomorrow is, believe it or not, the 6th anniversary of my first hospitalization, when i was diagnosed with ITP.

i seem to have an affinity for having health issues diagnosed on long 4th of July weekends.

To say i'm *totally* unconcerned would be a lie. However, i'm not scared. Really, i'm not. i'm actually more worried that i won't be able to lay there, flat on my back for a half an hour while there's a needle jabbing around in my neck. Yes, really - a half an hour.

i'm making Master bring a lollipop for me to have afterwards and also some Hello Kitty! band-aids to put on my neck. (because the stinky bandages they will give me at the Dr's office will do *nothing* to relieve discomfort. Where as, Hello Kitty! will.)

Thanks to everyone for reaching out to Master and i and sending good thoughts my way. Updates will follow as soon as we know anything.

For your viewing pleasure, a picture of my nodule! (so intimate....)

Leather Pride Weekend

2008-06-23T11:52:00.001-07:00

Ahh, Leather Pride weekend.... where do i even start? The week was
really awful. i felt like crap (fighting a cold, maybe?) my broken toe
sucks major butt, Master was a terrible monster all week (which He
admits, so i am not speaking out of turn!) and there are some annoying
work issues going on. So, overall, i would have rather spent the
weekend in bed, feeling sorry for my self.

Hiding in bed was not an option, so i put on my game face and
ventured out with Master. i got permission to wear the fantastic
uniform that i was gifted in Dallas. It was a huge hit and i think i
pulled it off well - sweaty but well. (After all, it's June, the Jacket
is heavy and i'm going thru a cycle of hot flashes. Sweaty gal!) i got
to spend some time re-connecting with 2 gentlemen who i would like to
spend more time with. One i've played with before and need to again.
The other i've never played with but the flirting is hot and heavy - i
think he'd be loverly to spend some time with. As the schedule is
lightening up and travel is more local, i think i'll be making some
plans with them.

So, then we head out after LPN to another location and i got to see
the person who just absolutely gets my panties in a twist. Yeah, that
person. Master was so with me and backing me up to stick to my guns and
i held fast, not turning in to a gibbering idiot. It was delicious to
watch them spot me in the crowd, stand stock still and then run away -
only to circle around a few more times trying to figure out how to
approach me. It ended up being a sneak attack, fingers caressing the
back of my neck, ruffling my hair from behind. (smart person, this one
- i once let them in on that being a weakness of mine when they did it
and it was used against me!) Yeah, so.... i stood up straight and
accepted whatever stammered apologies came my way. Later, when Master
and left, i made sure to say good night and return the favor of a
caress in the dark. However, when all was said and done... very
unsatisfying. It was delightfully interesting using the beautiful uniform
as a weapon, a torture device with someone who clearly has a fetish for
that kind of thing. *grin* But better than that was the time spent with
my friends and Master, smoking cigars in the clear night air, enjoying
the Solstice with my loved ones. Knowing that my brothers were keeping
an eye on me.

Sunday... well, Sunday was again spent with my loved ones but also
in the *brief* company of That One. Ugh, you know, it's amazing how
some one can have the body of an adult and still have the mind of an
adolescent. i'm lucky though to have a Master who desires my company
and after this weekend, enough offers for play, play dates, and just
plain old loverly dates that i'm not too hurt. Well, no... that's not
true. i *am* hurt. (scuffs her toe on the ground) Why is sex & relationships so
freakin' complicated? Why don't they teach this stuff in school?

Overall review of the weekend: i got to spend time with JC &
Sinn from Nekked building a friendship, i got to *finally* spend a
little more time with Double Dragon Dave (grin) and Ray, both of whom i
like a lot but don't get to talk to as often as i'd like. i got to
pretend to meet Terrance for the first time at least 55 times, i got to
meet a fantastic man from Idaho, i stayed connected to Atlanta, i met a
wonderful slave now living in DC, i had a random beautiful stranger
tell me that our website is great and has made a difference in his life
(what!), and one poopie experience with a dork. So, my weekend was
wonderful. Capped off by a rainbow over the street fair. i am blessed!

Atlanta, my toe and a wallet

2008-06-20T11:57:00.001-07:00

i had a blast in Atlanta. So much fun getting to know Sir Nick & slave kathleen. i usually take a while to warm up to people and start talking sassy but for some reason, i just took to these guys like a Fred to a countertop. (ok, duck to water for those of you not in the know!)

Came home, promptly had Taybor break my toe for me. (usually he drops his empty food bowl on my foot. This time he brought me his food scoop which i decided would be good to wear as a shoe so i could skate across the floor and crash in to the wall. Yeah... nice)

Then some scumbag stole Master's wallet from His gym locker yesterday. (along with 6 other wallets from other people!) Like all that isn't bad enough, they also got his free oil change card from our car dealership. Son's of bees! Angry isn't even to word for it. i've rarely felt so useless as i did last night. There wasn't any comfort i could give (or that was wanted) so i just hid out in my studio, feeling like crap. Funny, although Master wasn't raving or being mean, the dogs stayed away from Him too. They pick up that anger vibe, i guess.

It looks like all will turn out well. Credit cards canceled in time, no damage done to the bank accounts... Drivers license replaced quickly today and Master called the car dealer with His tale of woe and they came though for Him and will still do the oil change for free! Go Saturn!

Tonight we're going out with some new friends to talk about music and give them any tips we have towards getting them a recording contract/better tours/success/fame/money/glory.... i look forward to getting to know them better.

Leather Pride Night tomorrow, Folsom East on Sunday....i should be happier about those things but i really just want to stay home with a pillow over my head. Maybe if i get some quality time with some of my beloved Peeps i'll feel happier. i hope....

Oh, yeah... Happy Solstice!

Weird gay news?

2008-06-20T11:30:00.001-07:00

OK, so i saw this on our local NBC affiliate website.
Here's a screen shot of the website with the thing that bothered me:

i was pretty horrified by this story being classified under "weird news". So i wrote brief email of complaint. As you can see, although there's an admission of an error being made, there's really not an apology. Feel free, intrepid readers, to email Mr Scott himself.

Here's what i wrote:
Hello:

I'd love an explanation as to why Gay Marriage in California was listed under "weird news"... Is this in the same category as a free-roaming alligator terrorizing the neighborhood? Or lucky dog in a trash compactor? I don't think so and I for one find it offensive. There's nothing "weird" about it. Shame on you!

Here's his response:

Thanks for the email! That was an accidental mistake on my part.
Jim Scott
Senior Editor, WNBC.com

And here's his email address: James.Scott@nbcuni.com

time flies...

2008-06-11T12:44:00.001-07:00

Oy... where *does* the time go? How did it get to be the middle of June already? i feel like i've been moving in fits and starts, getting nothing accomplished. If it wasn't for my "to-do-list" that Master gives me, with all the things that i *must* get done, i swear i got nothing done. But since i have to cross off each task as i go along, i know i'm getting things done. After all, we've gotten another class written so i must be doing something, right?
i've been spending some time contemplating whether or not my new thyroid meds are doing anything for me. i was on Levoxyl for years, never felt a change, still tired and crappy all the time. With the Synthroid... well, the weirdest thing i've noticed is i think my vision is clearer. What? Yeah, weird i know. Other than a few very minor heart palpations the first few days (and probably only because the dr. said i'd have them!) i've had no negative reactions. But i still don't feel all that different. Maybe i expect too much, but i'd like to not feel so darn tired all the time. Maybe everyone is exhausted all the time and never mentions it.Either way, i'm only on half the dose i should be until i get another check up... which is *after* the biopsy.

Tonight, finish packing. Tomorrow, Atlanta for SELF. Getting to spend some time with some Quality Peoples! Hurray! :-) and perhaps some good Jamaican food at Miss Julies (sweet tea in the South!) and brunch at Sweet Melissa's! For some reason the trip to Atlanta revolves around food. i love the location of this event, everything is easy walking distance (and by everything i mean good restaurants!) so there's not this tummult of trying to find someone who's rented a car so we can drive to the super walmart so i can buy cheese and eat in the room! Ack!

Post trip, i'm looking forward to getting some art time in so i can practice what i learned at Art & Soul. We also have a dinner date planned with some new friends (ahh, musicians! Feed my music starved mind!) and i'm going to invite my self over to another new friends house to see his new puppy. (you hear that? yeah, i'm comming over!) *grin*

Pardon me? Is that a nodule i see?

2008-05-14T10:05:00.001-07:00

yup, i got myself a fantastical 1.5 cm nodule on my thyroid. i had been stalling on my yearly thyroid check because i HATE getting blood tests since i had my Port-a-Cath removed after i went in to remission from ITP. i finally buckled down, got the blood drawn, went for the ultrasound and followed up with my new doc. i actually like this guy, he takes a lot of time to explain everything throughly and is hilarious when he says "ok, so when i do the biopsy, i need you to not be wearing your....*insert long pause while he looks a the ceiling*...ummm, collar? Necklace?"

So, July 2nd, i get to go have a needle stuck in my neck. Fun! :-) i'm actually not worried about it. i've had the nodule for a while (since 2002) but "they" think it's a bit bigger - which is not necessarily something to worry about. Of course, right now all i can feel is my neck! i can feel the lump! i can! NO, really, i can not. Not at all. Ridiculous and amazing what acrobatics the mind is capable of, no?

i'm tired and i wanna go home!

2008-05-04T18:52:00.001-07:00

Last class is done and i am back in my hotel room. i had a blast, it's a good event. Great selection of teachers.

i don't have a ton of finished work - that's not what this trip was about. It was to learn technique, break some barriers (both in what art i do and traveling alone) and to feed my soul. All those things were accomplished.

i had a blast with Keith Lo Blue, i nailed the first rivet i did (pun?) and then made a mess of the next couple but i did get 2 pieces done and they're still holding together! He's also got the BEST pair of goggles i've ever seen (yes, even better than those goggles) i tracked a pair down online. Turns out, they're Japanese WWII issue. Fabulous! And truly practical. It was nice to meet a fellow goggle nut.

All 3 classes with Tracy Bautista rocked. They were exactly the challenge i hoped they'd be, but by the end of the weekend, i really felt good about the work i did. For me, her classes were about breaking through a huge barrier that my father gave me by telling me i wasn't an artist, my art sucked and giving me an intense fear of being a failure. As i packed up my stuff, i called out a big "thank you Traci" and she called me back and gave me a gift. (Like the classes weren't gift enough.) Sweet! i'll hang it in my studio to remind me of the good work that can be done if i get over myself.

i'm off to get packed up and try to figure out my return directions. i miss my dogs, my bed, my tea pot and most of all, i miss my sweet Master! Thanks to everyone who called and checked up on Him and me this weekend. It meant a lot to me to hear about all the calls and emails. Surrounded by love and covered with paint - that's me!

PS: Jack, yes - i DID use glitter. It was green. It's all over my room. It's freakin' me out! :-)

why is everything all covered with goo?

2008-05-01T20:59:00.001-07:00

i am covered in paint, ink, dye, glue, gel medium and gesso. i am happy and exhausted. i can't beleive i have 3 MORE DAYS of blessed creating. Today was intimidating: there are some major fabulous artists here. But such an out pouring of generosity. People at these things trade small bits of art with each other. i didn't bring anything to trade but i've been handed several goodies. Favorite so far is a cute, purple, hand felted wool pin in the shape of a skull. The lady gave it to me just because she thought i looked like a purple skull girl! :-) LOL! me?

i won 3 door prizes at the reception: more art supplies! Lucky gal!

i miss Master Larry and the Canine Dynamic Duo more than i can put in to words. i'm going to enjoy the rest of the weekend, with out a doubt, but i am looking so forward to being in Master's arms again! (not to mention, i can't sleep with out all of His snoring!) *blat*

off to bed!
G'Night!

whirlwind Sunday!

2008-04-27T14:00:00.001-07:00

So, when a slave comes home after yet another rotten day at work (It's
been super stressful, trying to save the business with my one big
pharmaceutical client) and finds that Master has not only grilled
Himself some outstanding chicken burgers but has also made some for the
slave, brought her dog bowls outside to the patio so she can eat with
Him... she's a very happy girl indeed!

To recap my week, in a nutshell - it was pretty bad. Between the stress
of packing and 2nd guessing the classes i picked for myself, the whole
mess going on at work, The Aunt making me crazy...and for some reason,
after all this time i got really mopey about the person that i was sort
of involved with. It's pretty sucky for some one to just stop calling
entirely. At least have the balls to say "hey, it's not working" or
what ever. *sigh* At least i got some great late night phone
conversation while i working in the studio and some good car sex out of
it and i'll just have to leave it at that, i suppose. i guess if they
weren't going to be able to be communicative while things were new and
easy, then they wouldn't have been able to handle any thing deeper, so
i'm better off. Yeah, that's it. i'm better off..... i just don't feel
like it though.

my boss handed me another pharma client this week, unexpectedly. He
took me to see them on Friday, i was completely unprepared: dressed
like a slob, no make up, hair askew (it was Friday, after
all!) But it went really well... They've got 3 locations i'll have to
take care of so that brings my total up to 5 places. No bad for the shy
girl who hates talking to new people! (see, running for leather titles
has it's benefits!)

Packing for the trip almost done. There's a mountain of stuff in the
front hall: 1 large carry on bag with tool box, paints, glue, etc. a
big case with The Big Scary Drill of Doom (thanks pug!) a big computer
bag full of ephemera for multiple classes, another small tool case, 2-2
gallon zip lock bags of supplies. Plus i have to pack the cooler, a big
box of food to cook when i'm down there, kitchen supplies, oh - and
clothes for me to wear! :-) i've started making a "special" head for
the DADA doll class. i'm shooting to get 2 dolls done and they're
giving us one head. Hence the extra i'm taking. Can't have too many
heads, i always say.

Between now and Wednesday morning i have to: get my hair cut, find time
to dye it, bake a loaf of bread, cook a bunch of chicken to take with
me, finish sorting some alphabet rubber stamps (about 4 million of
them), fix up and print and renew our contract (!) and... and... oh,
yeah, go to work and try to finish up everything that's pending for my
old client. ACK! i need a vacation from my vacation! Maybe i'll just go
to Kentucky..... *grin*

Off to finish dinner and a beautiful fresh home made focaccia bread..... blissy bliss!

Oh, one more thing: i think i get to say "Welcome to the Family" to some one.... Master's on the phone having a conversation right now.... Yay! Hurray! i like it when things work out well.....

Connections: past, present, future...

2008-04-14T18:51:00.001-07:00

Whoo Hoo! What a great weekend! Aside from the crazy Aunt, doing crazy aunt things, the 3 day weekend was Awesome. Friday was a chance to re-connect with Master. Saturday was spent connecting with a ton of new people and building a new friendship. Celebrating talent and hard work and darn good music with good food, good drink and amazing people.
As much as i love teaching, going to classes, events, bar nights... it was so nice to be "off leash" so to speak and just talk about music and non-leathery things. Although protocol was certainly not non-existent for me (i still needed to serve Master and check in with Him) i was able to relax and have fun. Only one M/s "error" when i started claiming dirty plates from guests and taking them to the trash.... one guest was saying to me "i've never had anyone take my plate before. Why are you doing that?" LOL, i guess i'm just helpful that way. *grin* i think she knew what was going on but i fluffed it off. Another guest was commenting on the lovely collar, she definitely knew it was a collar. Hmmm... well, let's give people something to talk about, i say.

i'm happy to have made this connection. It's not easy for me to have friends who are not in the "scene" because i sometimes feel like i can't be my self. With this person, i honestly feel like i absolutely can be my self. i don't know why. i usually don' trust people right out of the gate like this but there's just something there. Maybe it's because he's authentic in his actions? Could be. Either way, i'm happy with it.

i'm glad to be back in touch with my old Love (oh, stop it! i'm not calling You old!) who has been commenting on this blog. (HI! *slave waves in direction of Kentucky*) It's nice to still feel connected. After all this time. Across all these miles.

Happy girl, all around.

And, none of the buttons fell of my new dress.

Woman alone = Trouble?

2008-04-14T13:34:00.001-07:00

Master's Aunt is nagging again.
First, she annoyed that we're unwilling/unable to spend over $1,200 to fly to Florida to go to a family birthday party for *one* day.

Secondly, she offered to pay for us to go but Master declined. It's not just the cost the flight, it's the dog sitter *and* i'm leaving for the retreat just 2 days after that party - He knows that i need to pack and prepare and honestly, He'd like to spend the weekend with just me before i leave for a week. (Seriously, this is the longest we've ever been apart in all the many years we've been together. We've never been apart for more than 4 days!)

Thirdly.... She's mad at Him for "letting" me go on this trip alone. A woman alone could get in to trouble. Could *cause* trouble. Is a trouble magnet. (As my beloved Mr. Terricloth says "Trouble is my middle name!") Oy!

So, she's declared that she's going on the trip with me!

What? Excuse me? NO!!!!!!!!!!! As my beloved Mr. Terricloth once said to an Army recruiter "i'd rather stick needles in my eyes."

For the life of me, i can't even imagine what she's thinking. She'd die on an 8 hour car ride. i have classes from 9 a.m until 9:30 p.m. every day so, i'd not be entertaining her at all. She couldn't come to the classes with me as most of them are sold out *and* she'd hate what i'm taking.
(Really, she'd look at it all and sniff "this isn't art, it's trash!")
(To which i'd sniff back "it's not trash, it's assemblage!")
(And then, we would have a brawl and i would leave her there and drive home alone.) *grin*

Master told her to knock it off and stop buggin' me. Hopefully she'll listen.

Party Dress, Acceptance, Travel

2008-04-10T08:36:00.001-07:00

What made me thing a dress with 16 buttons was a good idea? i hate making button holes! Yes, ok - it looks great. It's all done but sewing on the last 11 buttons and the final hemming. i think it's got a delicious 50's feel to it. It's an awful black and red lotus print. Fun! Tacky! me! i'll post pics when it's really done. i just need the right shoes to go with it.... i'm thinking my black and white checkered sneakers.

i *finally* got my acceptance letter for the SoulCollage facilitator training. Hip Hip Hurray! Exciting news! i've already been giving some thought as to where i'd want to do the facilitating. There are some places nearby that would be receptive and i'm thinking *maybe* of Southwest Leather. i mean, it's the home of the woo-woo... SoulCollage is woo-woo. Sounds like a perfect fit to me! i gotta get busy writing a proposal, i guess.

Master also told me this morning that we were nominated for Pantheon of Leather Couple of the Year. Whoever nominated us: Thank you so much! It really does mean a lot to us to be nominated.

Master and i are off from work tomorrow. i think there's going to be a lot of relaxation (and sewing on of buttons) and i really need to do a through check of all my supplies for the retreat. i've got all my metal working stuff for my class with Keith Lo Blue, and all my paints, glues, papers, and ephemera for the other classes. i'm looking most forward to the classes on assemblage. (Keith's class, The DADA dolls and there's another class on collage i'm taking.)

i am scared of the other classes i'm taking. The work is NOT my style and i had to really push myself to sign up for these particular classes. One of the artists/teachers is big in to what she calls "girly glam" but she does this amazing graffiti style work. Um, i think i'm maybe more girly goth so we'll see what i get out of this. Hopefully i won't have the urge to just coat everything with glitter! (not that glitter is a bad thing!) i am diggin' the graffiti style stuff though. Hmmm, in fact: it just dawned on me that i know someone who does that. i'm going to have to pick his brain.

Ok, i'm off to clean my desk at work so i can enjoy tomorrow stress free!
Peas!

New music, scrap metal and me...

2008-04-03T07:57:00.001-07:00

my friend Eric of voodooNouveau put out his new CD a few weeks ago and it's been in heavy rotation in the house. If you like good, hard music - please check it out. It's available for download here. Kinky folks will probably appreciate the song INRI the most. i know that i personally am diggin' the lyrics and the whole dirty dungeon vibe of that particular track.

Things have ground to a halt with my 'person'. yeah, it's sad. They made me quite happy and made me feel like a Princess. But the Princess likes to have her calls returned and doesn't like being ignored. So, i move on.

i'm busy putting together my tools and supplies for my Art conference. i can't believe it's only a few weeks away and i'm still blown away that i am, indeed, still able to do this trip. To be honest, if i had to fly, i wouldn't be able to afford it. At all.

So, one of the things that i need to bring is any kind of assorted "found" objects - a la big chunky metal and industrial type stuff. i had noticed a big, beautiful (to me anyway) piece of metal laying in the street but it was in a really crap spot for me to stop and pick it up (too much traffic, sort of dangerous). i mentioned it to Master and lo and behold, Sunday it appeared at home. Yup, my Master risked life and limb to get it for me. That means more to me than a bouquet of flowers. He's my hero! :-)
We're such a couple of romantics, huh?

We're off to CT this weekend to teach for The Society and there might be as many as 60 people there. Plus some folks from Boston are coming down and that's exciting!

In the mean time, i'm busy sewing an awesome party dress. Where will i wear it? Who knows? Perhaps next weekend.... *grin*

i have a really good life, even if sometimes things don't go according to plan.

is this thing on?

2008-03-28T09:17:00.001-07:00

i've been having trouble using Scribefire to publish my stuff... This is just a test to see if my formatting blows up again...
Oh, technology is so grand! *snark*

busy busy bee..

2008-03-24T12:41:00.001-07:00

Gosh, it's been busy around here. i realized today that i still have some unpacking from San Diego to do. Yeah, i've been that busy!
i had Good Friday off from work, which was SO nice. i got a lot of Art done. (Master gave me a "core" day so i could do what ever i needed to feed my "core"/Soul. So, what did i do? i made SoulCollage cards. So far, i have 6 in my deck. It's a very gratifying process. i'd like to have a nice pile of them when i go for my training as a Facilitator in September, but whatever i have done is what i have done. (just let it go, barb, let it go...)

Saturday was spent partially re-connecting with my Beloved Jack Terricloth. Sweet man he grew up to be! It was an awesome concert and it did my heart good to see him looking so healthy at the end of 6 months on the road. So people are just born to be on the road.

Sunday i was told to clean out Taybor's cage so that i get to use it for naps! Hurray! Hurrah! Puppy Play for me! It's in a great spot in my studio, right by the window, so i can get a cool breeze if the windows open and maybe growl at the neighbors as they walk past. :-) Fun! Taybor's a bit annoyed that i threw out his old stinky bed, but he hasn't been in that crate for about 2 months now. my babies are all grown up now. *sniff*

Some more supplies arrived for the big retreat i'm going on next month. This batch was mostly metal working tools, hammers, etc. Plus Master got me a big pile of fancy pens for the graffiti class. Whoo Hoo! i ma really glad i'm driving to this retreat. There's no way all this crap would fit in a couple of suit cases on the plane.

Ok, back to work with me so i can earn more money for glue and wire and shiny art supplies...

San Diego... my ancestral homeland

2008-03-18T17:47:00.001-07:00

Well, this is going to sound completely cheesie but as many cool places as we've been during our title year, San Diego felt like i came home. (except for the fact that i didn't have my dogs stepping on my liver the whole weekend.)

The people: awesome, friendly, warm. The Leather community: tight, together, family. The city itself: the bits that we got to see were amazing. i'm trying to figure out - then you have such a big center of culture and art and nature that is Balboa Park - is it a reflection of how great the community is or does that big beautiful park reflect it's sweetness on the people? i guess, either way, it doesn't matter. i just flat out love the place.

i'm still wiped out from the trip so i'm keeping this short right now. my solo class went well. Our hosts were amazing. Balboa Park is my new home, as far as i'm concerned. Although the squirrels are weird there....

Here's one funny pic from the park. Does any one see any resemblance there?

she's back!

2008-03-11T12:41:00.001-07:00

So... well.... Wow. Where did the time go? People who know me deeply
know that March is a really tough time for me. Yeah, i re-live some
deeply traumatic things from my childhood. i feel... well, i feel
regret sometimes at how bad shit was when i was growing up and the
things that happened to me. i feel anger at how absolutely rotten my
parents were. i feel deeply the loss of my first love. (Yes, You, Jack.
i'm talking about You!) But i as i relive the trauma drama that was my
childhood, i also feel so loved and respected and glad that things
turned out the way they did. If it wasn't for the struggle that i went
through, i wouldn't be the person that i am today. So, i am greatful,
in the end for all that i went through. i just wish, sometimes, with my
little girl heart, that it hadn't been so damn hard. (Thank you sp for checking up on me while i was hiding in my Cave of Self Pity for the past few weeks)

i've also been freaking out because it was looking like, due to the
title holder financial drain, that i wasn't going to get to go to my
Art retreat. i actually went so far as to try to cancel it but i missed
the cut off date. DOH! So, being that i'd already laid out a HUGE chunk
of cash for the classes and wasn't going to get that back - i made
alternate housing plans. i'll be doing the cheap ass hotel with a
kitchenette deal and bringing all of my own food with me for the trip.
The whole thing, which was becoming such a mass of anger in my heart,
has now become a personal challenge. i'll do the trip and i'm making it
my personal goal to spend not one dime other than on the gas to get
there and back. No bottled water, no purchased Starbucks coffee... no
candy, no vending machine junk. If i haven't brought it with me, then i
won't have it. It'll be...fun. Well, ok, maybe not fun but i know there
are people who aren't going to this retreat because they can't afford
the classes, never mind the outrageous hotel expense. i'm lucky enough
to have the cash to pay for the classes, who am i to whine about having
to stay off site in a not so fancy hotel?

In other news, the new friendship Master and i began at SPLF is going
along swimmingly. i really love these 2 generous and amazing people!
:-) my life is so full of JOY! ( and a spiffy East German uniform too!
*gloat!*)

And i've struck up a friendship with a person who worked at one of my
clients. Turns out, not only to be an amazing musician and artist and
all round good hearted and smart person but also lives super close to
my house now. Good. It's a good thing to have good peeps nearby. Very
good.

my other relationship...seems to be fizzling. Sigh. Damn. So cute. But
if you don't return calls then i'm not chasing you. i'm actually not
mad or annoyed. Just sad about it and perhaps a bit worried. i hope
they didn't fall off the roof deck at work. (maybe one of the boys can
check that out for me on Thursday? *grin*) It's a shame. This person
would have really enjoyed me in my new uniform. Now they'll just get to
look and not touch. (oops, there i go, gloating again!)

OK, that's enough typing for now. i gotta do some work and then get ready to head off to San Diego this weekend!

2 days 'til Dallas

2008-02-19T18:14:00.001-08:00

Wow, it's been a crazy year! i can not believe we leave for Dallas and SPLF in just 2 days.

i know that i couldn't have done this title year without the support and love of my home MAsT Chapters, MAsT Metro NY, MAsT Central NJ and MAsT Philadelphia.

The fund raiser / send off party that my New York boys of Leather and MAsT put on for us last year meant the world to me - for those of you who showed up and shared your love and support, You have my undying love and gratitude.

To the Master and slave pair who repeatedly made donations to our travel fund through out the year, You both rock! i'm not sure that they want to be singled out by name, but i want you to know that each lunch that you paid for on the road was so appreciated! You made a difference.

Lexi, who helped us last year at the contest: Your service was amazing and more than that, your calming influence was such a blessing. You are a Lady! Thank you!

Master Z, Dallas: who puts His birthday spanks on the line each year to raise money for the travel fund. slave catherine, who put her HAIR on the auction block for the travel fund. We have been surrounded by so much love and support this year. Thank you!

The people who took up a collection at dinner on Sunday evening after we won so that we'd have enough cash to buy our vests: that was a true example of what Leather Family is.

my Asbury Park Leather Family: Sal, Dion and Tom. One day at the grocery store, in the parking lot - some men approached us and invited us to a Leather night at a local bar. See what you started? *grin* and now, you can't get rid of us!

There are just so many people to thank and remember. And this girl has some more packing to do, so i will close this entry with a thank you to Ms. Velvet, Beverly of Achella. You were one of the first people in the scene to talk to me and you sold me my first flogger. Every event you were at, you always had time to talk and you made me feel so welcome. When we won, you told me how proud you were and i told you that i hoped we could make YOU proud. This year, Bev, was for you. i miss you so much my friend. You are missed by so many. Blessed be!

Laugh out loud and drive off the road

2008-02-19T09:04:00.001-08:00

This morning i saw a delivery truck for a dairy....On the side it said:

"GOLDEN FLOW, THE TASTE YOU GREW UP WITH"

i snorted coffee out of my nose and almost drove off the road.

Comments, anyone? Or am i the only one with my mind in the toilet that early in the morning? :-) i really wish they had t-shirts.

a general plague zone

2008-02-15T11:52:00.001-08:00

Everyone, and by that i literally mean every single person in my office is sick. One person is back after being out sick for a few days, another is out sick now after coughing like a barking seal all week. my boss is sneezing so hard that he's getting dizzy, another co-worker sniffling (but she spent 10 days in New Orleans drinking so we won't count her...) i absolutely do NOT want to get sick and miss South Plains! :-( How awful would that be?

i am holding strong. i've started drinking water with White Pine Tincture in it. i'm not allowed to take Echinacea, which raises the white blood cell count and can make those of us with Auto-immune diseases have flair ups.

i like my White Pine, i made it myself. i've been using it since i had my splenectomy. When cold & flu season comes around, it seems to work. When i don't take it at the first sign of a cold, i get really sick. Making this stuff is the best of self-care. Tramping through the woods, collecting the pine, bottling it up, shaking the jars each day.... taking a taste after a few weeks to see how strong it is. Delicious! (Here's my goofy, hippie statement for the day: i can taste how strong that tree is!)

Here's a link to my teacher's page and an article on White Pine and it's uses.

Happy V-Day

2008-02-14T12:29:00.001-08:00

Master left this great box of chocolates for me this morning! Isn't it the cutest? The jacket is actually some kind of vinyl and the zipper is functional so, i think this box is going to become some kind of purse or something... That is, once we've devoured the contents.

i got to hear Jane Fonda say the word "cunt" on the morning news, while talking about the Vagina Monologues. Surprisingly enough, the world didn't end. Of course, now everyone's got their collective panties in a bunch. Relax people - it's a play about cunts, and not being ashamed of them - get over it! Personally, i LOVE my cunt. :-) And it's gotten rave reviews lately. But that's besides the point, i am grateful and happy that my body is so fully capable of great delight and pleasure. Ain't the human body glorious and amazing?

So, in honor of my cunt, Jane Fonda's cunt and the Vagina that birthed you - go out and celebrate, if not romance, than the glories of your own fantastic body.

Happy V-Day!

Disconnect/Reconnect

2008-01-28T17:54:00.001-08:00

So, most of last week was spent feeling completely disconnected and basically sorry for my sad self.

my neck felt like it was disconnected from the rest of my body - actually, i WISHED it felt disconnected. It actually was incredibly painful and out of whack. Master spent a lot of time massaging me and applying both ice and heat.

Work was just awful. Everyone was cranky, including me. One of my co-workers was out for a few days having minor surgery and i didn't even know anything was going on with her. Disconnected again! (Happy to report that she's fine!)

And then, much to my dismay, a phone call i made wasn't returned. *sigh* disconnected again. Not really a big deal, but after the week that i had - i really needed to hear a friendly voice! So, instead, i reached out to other people who i love dearly and was rewarded with some lovely conversation and much needed emails and texts. i love my peeps! :-)

So, come Friday, i was itching to get some action: i needed PLAY, sex, conversation, connection and human interaction. Really. i was as provocative as i could be on Friday night with out being blatantly disrespectful (and generally Master doesn't like a bratty slave!) But somehow, sashaying around in a tank top and panties that have an goofy owl on the butt is enough to get my ass spanked. i was rewarded for my sassiness with lots of delicious play! Fab! After that, we ended up having some great conversations.... which i almost (ALMOST!) needed more
than the play. (ALMOST!)

Saturday: i again practiced Artistic whining and provocativeness to get my way.

i convinced Master that we REALLY needed to go to the Eagle to support Peter and NYboL and Safer& Saner
after His holiday/work party dinner thing.
(And in the midst of my convincing that we should go out, i managed to strap on and fling Master in the sling!) (ok, i didn't fling Him- He ordered me to do it *grin*)
The work party was brutal - forced in to a conga line.... forced to HOLD HANDS WITH HIS CO-WORKERS and do some wacky circle dance! ack! ack! ack! Non-consensual dancing torture! But we got out of there as soon as possible to head to the Eagle, connect with everyone and carry on conversations that were started earlier in the week. Nice. Bliss! The place was jammed so that, unfortunately meant that i didn't get to have some of the conversations
that i wanted to have, but that'll happen in due course. i did get enough connection to make me happy indeed, so for a change, i will not whine. (patience, practice patience.....)

Sunday was an all day art class in town. i was up early, slightly hung over and bleary from lack of sleep. We were supposed to be making these funky photo layouts with words like "happy" and "splash" and "love" and instead i made things that said "NYboL" and "I M/s 2007"... which lead to a lot of questions. "Whats NYboL?" It's a boys club i belong to. "But you're a girl." i'm an associate and i only look like a girl and these are my brothers. "You have a lot
of brothers? Enough brothers that they have their own club?" Yes, i have a lot of brothers. They're all kinky perverts...
While fending off the questions, i did manage to learn a lot of new techinques and use some fun chemicals i'd never used before. Goggles are handy, indeed.

In the end, i was re-connected in spades.

True to form...

2008-01-20T18:20:00.001-08:00

One of us usually comes down sick the weekend of MAL.
Friday, after work, i got my haircut. Chatted with one of my hair dressers clients for a while (OK, flirted.) Came home, Made dinner, felt great. Sat on the couch and in about 15 minutes i had chills and collapsed like a flan in a cupboard. Sweaty, achy, icky mess.
What the hell?

Spent the weekend feeling like crap. i was going to run in to the city last night with my hair guy and surprise someone with an unexpected visit. Instead, i laid around the house feeling like a crusty mess. Ack.

Glad we didn't go the MAL. Maybe next year i'll don a protective suit and respirator right after my birthday and stave of the germs long enough to see D.C.'s finest leather men in action.

Facilitation

2008-01-17T18:32:00.001-08:00

Master and i discussed a plan i've been having for a while. i will be taking a class to learn how to facilitate a particular type of Art. (i guess some people would call it art therapy. i think it's intuitive work- like tarot)

i'll be going away in September for a while to do this. In the meantime, i have some work to do to get ready. All the foundations laid at SWLC... manifesting.

The Universe is so generous!

Tuesday 1/15/2008

2008-01-17T18:24:00.001-08:00

Not too much i can share here, to protect the innocent. Yes, we got to connect. No, it wasn't the full day together that i hoped for. But, you know - i respect a person who can honor their obligations rather than chase tail. Dinner was lovely. We have all the time in to world to get "the other stuff". Connecting was more important and learning about each other is most important.

And, still, there were enough kisses to make me dizzy. Yes. Indeed.

SWLC - condensed.

2008-01-17T18:14:00.001-08:00

Thursday January 10^{th 2008}

Well, i decided not to even try to go to bed. By the time i
was even close to being packed, it was midnight and we had to be up to leave at
3:30. That’s just enough sleep to make me really cranky, so i just stayed up.

The flight was great, i had some stylin’ new music to carry
me along (thanks Eric!) we landed early and we were greeted by SWLC volunteer,
slave tina – who had a thermos of good hot coffee ready for me! Thanks slave
tina! Once we arrived, we were whisked off to lunch at Mimi’s by another
volunteer, Bailey. (Bailey has some of the nicest corsets i’ve ever seen!
Yummy!)

We got checked in, set up the room and hung up our flags and
vests out on the balcony. it was nice to be the first people to do that and
then watch as more and more people arrived and got their banners, flags and
even boots hung up. i love that!

i took about a half an hour to set up my altar for the
weekend. i’ve been focusing on a few things: the directions that i want to take
in life, the way i’d like our relationship to expand, and my Art. There was a
neat little triangular table in the hotel room, with was a nice shape for the
intent that the main focus the altar was going to take. 3 candles lit, 3 bells
to be sewn on to my back on Sunday. 3 of everything. Master even brought along a cool camo knife
that i got to use as my ritual knife during the set up. it felt so right to
have that particular item of our Household be part of what i was asking for. As
it turned out, i was able to light the candles each time we returned to the
room

Good to reconnect with old friends and make some new ones.
Master and i headed off to Olive Garden for dinner and some of the last “alone
time” for the weekend. Pretty heady conversation about what we were focusing on
for the Dance of Souls and what the Universe can manifest for us. Also, being
careful for what you ask for….. Hmmmm…..

Back for the meet and greet and more connecting with
friends. Delicious!

Bed, sleep to the sound of the waterfall in the atrium.
Bliss!

Friday

Judge’s meeting early. The rest of the day was spent
wandering about, spending some quality time with Master Taino and Master Alex,
as well as slave caroline and many, many others. (i finally got my fish tacos! J )

We were honored to meet Luke Owens, the gentleman who
started the Master slave contest. Yes, Luke – You ARE still making ripples in
the community! Thank You!

Opening ceremonies, i was bawling my eyes out during the
tribute to Ms. Velvet (Beverly)
and Sir Robin, who both passed away in 2007. i miss Bev and i wish i’d gotten
to know Sir Robin.

Now, in our registration packet was a cool little Swiss army
type knife. i’ve been thinking for a while now that when i went to SWLC, i’d be
coming home with a new knife. When i opened my packet and the knife fell out, i
thought “oh, that must be the knife i dreamed about, cool.” Later on during the
day, i went to check out the silent auction. There it was. A beautiful, hand
made, well loved, full of life ritual knife. Master and i saw it at the same
time and He exclaimed “i think supposed to go home with you!” Well, easier said
than done – it was on the auction table. We found out a little about the
history of the knife. it turned out that it belonged to Sir Robin. i placed a
bid and then began the long, uncomfortable process of watching the bids
accumulate! What will happen? Who knows?

At the end of the ceremony, Master Taino gave me a flower.
*speechless* :-)

Saturday

Laid back morning, although we were up very early. We
doodled around, did some shopping, checked on my bid and basically relaxed for
most of the day. We spent a bit of time going over our notes for class and then
wandered down to our class room. We both expected no one to be there… it’s not
false modesty, i honesty feel like i’m no where near in the league of some of
the other presenters. So, the class starts filling up and the people keep
piling in….. Now i’m freaking out! it ended up being a full room! We got
started and the questions were flying – awesome, thoughtful questions that
really made the presentation sing. Excellent. i was blown away and felt might
proud of both of us by the end. immediately afterwards, we had to hustle over
to do some more judging. …

After that, room service for dinner – yes, i ate a club
sandwich while showering! Talk about a time crunch – i needed a ton of time to
get my magenta hair to stand up high! :-) During
intermission i got a GREAT phone call. it’s amazing what 3 minutes on the phone
can do to improve my mood. Yeah, lucky girl i am. Plans are a “go” for Tuesday
when i get home. For more details of the contest, please check out Master
Larry’s blog entry here.

To end the evening on an even happier note, after the phone
call – it turned out that i placed the winning bid on Sir Robin’s knife. What
an honor for me to be able to take such an important part if Him home with me.

Sunday:

Up for the brunch and keynote address. i ended up leaving early from that to go back
to the room and do my personal preparations and rituals for the Dance of Souls.
i gathered up my 3 bells, the skirt i was going to wear and a few other items
that i wanted to have with me.

Master Z of Dallas
ended up being my piercer. What a great connection. i was scared but excited. i
was SO ready for this to happen. We fussed a bit with the placement of the hooks;
But He was patient and understanding. Such a calm demeanor that man has! And
then: *growl* the first needle was in. Wow! i loved that He growled right back
in my face. Sexy! Hot! Connected! YES! Second needle, *growl* again! Yes! Then
place the hooks…. Then i turned around for Him to place the needles and threads
for the bells. Yes!

There’s a gentleman
that whenever i see Him, just makes me blush. i don’t know why. i don’t think i’ve
ever said more than 3 words at a time to Him…. He just makes me unable to speak
for some reason. He was standing at the head of the piercing line while i was
getting my back done and was looking me right in the eye – giving me some
silent, smiling support. Thank You Hot Nameless Man! :-)

i scuttled off to the tying stations, first to get my cords
and carabiners then to the next station to get the bells actually tied on.

The rest of the Dance, well… let’s just say it was Magickal.
i got to really reconnect with the Man that i love and serve and respect. my best friend and my Master. i got to pull with many people and got to share energy with friends and
strangers and my whole Leather Tribe. i saw some true beauty that day. i even
got to pull with Master Alex, who i think is one of the few people who
really understands what a big deal (medically) it was for me to be able to get pierced and pull
like i did. Truly an Honor for me.

i can’t even begin to describe what this was like. To anyone
who has never done this or even gone to SWLC – just do it. Show up and live
your life.

After: a communal buffet dinner at the hotel. Food is so
grounding after that and so necessary after dancing for so many hours. 4? 5? 6?
Who knows!

After that: mellow conversation with many and a chance to
finally meet Elwood (hot!) and talk to him. i like that man’s presence. Yes,
indeed. Perhaps we’ll meet again in Chicago?
Yes!

Bed, sleep, bliss……zzzzzz……..

Monday:

Up early, to the airport. Sleep on plane. Home, Dog chaos,
love! Made a call, went to bed….. What does tomorrow hold for me?

The count down is starting to go....

2008-01-09T19:16:00.001-08:00

(yes, it's an Exploited reference...)

Still running about packing: all the last minute things, dog food, confirm the dog sitter, print the boarding passes, load my new ipod (a vendor of mine gave me a 4 gig NANO -sweet!) with new music (thanks Eric!) find my headphones.... find Master's headphones...make a call and try to firm up plans for Tuesday when i get home....

We haven't traveled in about 6 weeks and i have no idea how so much stuff got disorganized. We were living out of our suit cases for a while and now i can't find anything! Argh! The pups are completely freaked out by the suit cases - they know we're leaving and they hate it. They keep stealing my socks and underwear.

i even managed to get a new swim suit (ok, i don't swim, so it's a "clutch the side of the pool in a pathetic attempt to not drown" suit) even if i will have to hold my new tattoo out of the water. i am determined to get in the pool at least on Thursday. Even anti-water Master is bringing HIS suit! Whoot!

OK - off to finish packing....

Packing

2008-01-08T20:18:00.001-08:00

Oy, why is packing alway such a last minute thing for me? OH, yeah, i remember... i'm not in charge and i need to let go....

On the annoying front - i can't find my other uniform skirt. Crap!

On the happy front - i DO get to dress up for the actual contest portion of our evening on Saturday. :-)
i did have a great day at work, on the road in this weather was a pleasure, crankin' the stereo (old Buckcherry) and open windows, driving fast... Whoot!
i did have an amazing conversation with someone. i LOVE talking music and i miss that a lot. Fun! Nice, i hope the conversation continues sometime.

Master just announced that cigars are packed! Yippee!

i also spent sometime selecting 3 brass bells to have sewn on during the Dance of Souls. Had to make sure the Tones are compatible. :-) OH, Rituals are such fun. (Manifest, Manifest, Manifest!)

OK, off to finish laundry and off to bed. Sweetest dreams! (although the sweetest ones lately leave me breathless and exhausted. Maybe i should wish for dreamless sleep?) *grin!*

Stuffed with Chocolate!

2008-01-06T19:00:00.001-08:00

Off to the MAsT Metro NY meeting this morning. Man, is my arm sore! i keep looking down and am startled to see this HUGE tattoo on my arm. She's so beautiful!

i got an amazingly thoughtful gift from sc. Thanks so much! It'll be well used in my studio. After the meeting Master took me to VNYL for a great dinner. We were supposed to meet with the Some One i keep mentioning, but they are horribly ill. As cute as i think baby seals are, when a human is coughing like a baby seal barks, it's not so good. But i did get a call from this person and for me - getting a call to wish me a happy birthday when you're feeling like death warmed over is awesome and important. :-) Feel better!

Dinner was great, we had the same waiter as last time and he's funny and very cute! Master and i split a fabulously decadent chocolate fudge cake with vanilla ice cream and pistachio brittle. OH MY GODDESS! Was that amazing!? It was really enough to serve 3. (maybe next time, *grin*!)

i also got a bunch of great emails and text's from well wishing friends - that really meant a lot to me! :-) Oh, and a call from Master Blair! Oh, and one more email from another, entirely different, cute boy. Sigh....

Now we're home and i am very satisfied. It's been one of the best birthday weekends that i've had in a long time. Maybe since my 29th (Motorhead concert, a blizzard and somehow a stray Brazilian guy ended up in our house.... Long story)

How blessed am i? VERY!

Inky salty ice cream cake!

2008-01-05T17:54:00.001-08:00

Well, i started my morning running off the see my new tattoist, Leah. She got there a few minutes after i did (i was early) and we got right to work with the final consult and a few adjustments to the design. Moments later, i was getting the stencil applied and some details drawn on and... and.... hours later, my forearm is covered with the outline of my Victorian Lady Blacksmith! Whoo hoo! Very Steampunk imagery, right down to the cog that she's forging and the goggles perched on her head. Super fetish boots she's got on also. my beautiful steamy pinup! :-)

Then home to an ice pack and a nap. Master cooked dinner for me while i supervised. Great job! Everything was amazing. (i must add, that Master wore my new brown corc's all day to help me break them in. Those bad boys are stiff as hell. His feet are sore and i am grateful!) Post dinner, we each made calls. Trying to wish Master Blair a very happy birthday Herself and i'm trying to firm up dinner plans with... well, you know. :-)

Then: surprise! Birthday ice cream cake a day early (since He won't have me all to Himself tomorrow, what with the MAsT Metro NY meeting and hopefully a shared dinner and all) Delish! and a gift! for me! Master got me this really cool lamp made out of salt. Yes, it's one of these goofy new agey pink salt lamps. i've been eyeing them up for a while. They look cool and i can like it if i ever get a salt craving and there's no snacks in the house.

Now, settled on couch, with Birthday Beer and Spiderman 3 on DVD. Cool! It's been a great birthday weekend so far. Happy 41 to me, i think it's going to be an amazingly interesting year.

In honor of the Caucus:

2008-01-03T18:19:00.001-08:00

my friend Eric, of the band voodooNOUVEAU has released a new track from his upcoming CD. i told him that i i liked the track, i'd promote it here. i was blown away by how good it is. (not that i'm surprised - he's an outstanding musician.)

If you are interested in Industrial style, raw synth punk - please go to his myspace page and check it out.

i happily present: The Honest Candidate
Please turn up your speakers! :-)
GO ERIC!

Willful disobedience and Lust.

2008-01-03T18:13:00.001-08:00

Yes, Trying to follow orders and falling Prey to Lust is a deadly
combination. i did something perhaps completely out of my
oh-so-obedient character on New Year's Eve. Well, it was at 3 a.m. so
technically it was New Year's Day.

Did i screw up massively? Well, yes. Yes, i did.

Will i admit that i had a good time? Well.....

i actually feel like a little kid - well, if i'm going to be bad, i'm going to be really bad. Oh, i can be so mature! :-)

So, while i feel really terrible for being disobedient, i absolutely
must admit, it the interest of being honest and transparent: i had fun
doing it. In the interest of protecting the Innocent, i give no
details. Those people in my life who know what's going on in my life
right now know of whom i am speaking of. No one else needs to know.

In the end, Master has forgiven my indiscretion - understanding that
even women, even slaves, can think with their small head sometimes.
:-)

We've worked out some Rules of Engagement, which were going to be
worked out at a later date - but things have progressed much faster
than any one anticipated.

All is well.

Christmas Mayhem

2007-12-26T12:54:00.001-08:00

So, by 9:00 p.m. yesterday, it looked like an elf threw up in the house. Paper and boxes, ribbons and tags, instruction manuals and candy - everywhere!

Master and i had an amazing 4 days together. We spent Solstice in the City with old friends and my new friend *grin* and Christmas Eve with His family. Christmas day was spent with The Aunt.

i am sad to say that by about 4 in the afternoon, i'd had enough and started to get cranky. She's become such a... well, cranky old lady. :-) Whenever she'd give the Right Wing, just-mild-enough-to-get-away-with-but-still-slightly-racist comment - it was just driving me bananas! i was also getting annoyed (and this is *my* problem, not hers!) by how she's losing her mental acuity. i know that i'm expressing my worry about her by being annoyed - that doesn't make it ok for me to do, i'm just acknowledging that i understand what my issue is. No one enjoys watching a loved one begin to decline.

She had a lot of fun with our crazy dogs. They love going over there and tearing around the house. LiLu loves having someone else to lick and bother. Taybor gets good experience being around other people, since he's very timid for such a big dog.

So, the gifts.... The Aunt gave me a wide assortment of Art tools which i asked for. i was shocked to see a bunch of Master's late Mother's Art tools in the box. i never got to meet her, she died long before i met Master but she was an amazing Artist and also a writer. To be entrusted with her tools was a huge honor for me.

i am always bowled over by the attention that Master pays to what i'm saying through out the year. i'll mention something in April and come Christmas, it's in my stocking or under the tree. i love a Man that pays attention - that, my friends, is a sexy thing! :-) Goodness!

i got Master a sling and frame from the Leatherman. Yup, it really does assemble in 5 minutes. Yup, it's sturdy. Yup, it's broken in. Yup, it's going to remain assembled in the living room until after New Year's Eve! The house reeks of leather and leather sex.

And to wrap up my evening, i'd like to state for the record again: Yes, the inventor of the telephone was a genius who has brought great pleasure and satisfaction to my life, as of late. i'd also like to whine that i do not enjoy the foibles of the modern cell phone service, what with all the static and dropped calls. Having a conversation of a somewhat intimate nature get disconnected 6 times is frustrating - and not in that sexy "well, you'll just have to wait for it" deep voice kind of way. *sigh* Honestly, sometimes a carrier pigeon or telegraph seems like it would be more efficient. (Not that ".-- .... .- - / .- .-. . / -.-- --- ..- / .-- . .- .-. .. -. --. ..--.. " is really all that stimulating.) (yeah, leave me a comment and i'll give you the translation for that, if you dare!)

Happy Solstice to all!

2007-12-23T13:28:00.001-08:00

i hope everyone had as fantastic a day
as i did. Saturday Master and i both slept in a bit, good way to kick
off a long weekend if you ask me. Plus, i was allowed to sleep in His
bed by both Him and the dogs. The canine duo cooperated with me and
made a little space for my flannel clad butt. Nice!

Then i scooted off to the kitchen to bake some chocolate drop
shortbread cookies to take with me in to the City tonight. Yes, elf
slave barb needed to do a goofy cookie run! :-) Next thing we knew it
was time to get dressed and head out to Master Jack's presentation for
TES. It took the usual 25 minutes to get to the Lincoln tunnel and
then.... over 2 hours to get in to the City and get parked! Oye! We we
running so late... or so we thought. Turns out Master Jack hit the same
traffic and HE was running late too. TES thoughtfully provided pizza
and soda while we waited, so there was a fun party atmosphere about the
whole thing. The presentation was great, the handout was, as usual,
outstanding and very useful. Lots of good tips for both beginners and
more experienced people.

After the presentation i took Master out for a Solstice
dinner at VNYL. That was a fun restaurant, except Master made me have
the Whitney Houston menu. Ick! Dinner was great, Purple Rain martinis
are delish! (pricey but tasty) i look forward to going there again when
i'm not wearing a corset so i can try some of the appetizers! :-)

We had a leisurely walk over to the Eagle, enjoyed the sights
of the city, all the holiday lights, the smell of the Christmas trees
being sold on the street, people bustling around with their last minute
errands. We spent a few hours chilling at the Eagle and then i got to make
my cookie drop! You know, i am a REALLY lucky girl. i'd also like to
point out that i don't need no stinkin' mistletoe to get what i ~~want~~
need. Yes, i am lucky! :-)

Traffic was blessedly light and we made it home quickly. A few antics
and we were off to bed. Well, Master was off to bed. i was off to
pacing around the house. Made a call, had some great but all too brief
conversation and then i was finally able to fall asleep. (i guess
sometimes i just need to be tucked in! *grin* )

Yes, Happy Solstice!

Shred Your Bad Memories of 2007Shred Your Bad Memories of 2007

2007-12-19T11:35:00.001-08:00

This sounds like fun: anyone got anyone or anything they want to shred? i know i have a few things/people that i'd like to dump in Times Square! Please share your comments!

Shred Your Bad Memories of 2007

NEW YORK (AP) -- In the spirit of starting anew, a business group and the city's sanitation department are inviting New Yorkers to shred their bad memories of 2007.

Everything from photos of ex-lovers to lousy report cards will be fair game when the Times Square Alliance and the New York Department of Sanitation set up shredders in the Times Square Visitors Center for an hour on Dec. 28.

Recycling bins will be available for items that can't be shredded, like embarrassing fashion mistakes, annoying CDs and irresistible - and fattening - chocolate chip cookies. The organizers say they'll also provide stationery for passers-by to jot down memories they wish would go away.

A grand prize of $250 will be awarded to the person deemed to be most creative in letting go of old baggage.

Better get there by noon: At 1 p.m., a sanitation truck will pick up the distasteful, the disturbing, the downright depressing - and cart it all away.

You can pick your friends...

2007-12-17T19:58:00.001-08:00

You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family.

It's true.

i am very annoyed right now. In fact, so annoyed that i can't really write anything else right now. i have to cool down first. i think i'll go soak my head in some ice water.

Can someone call Cthulu for me? Please? i have a job for him..... *evil grin*

Thrifting!

2007-12-16T18:02:00.001-08:00

my thrift store treasures today:

A Flight suit for Master that fits oh-so-good for $4.00.

A camo BDU shirt for Master for $4.00

and (drum roll please) a great, real-sheep-skin brown leather bomber
jacket for me for 20 bux. Old, nicely worn and broken in. Super warm.
Needs a bit of repair on a few seams and it's hanging up in the bathroom
soaking up huberd's like a sponge. It's going to be a fine looking coat
in a about a week. Will go well with goggles. Needs a aviator's helmet to go with it....Oh, and a full length black velvet dress for $4.00.

i am happy to report that my title vest is hanging safely in the
closet. i keep peeking at it to make sure it's really there. (yeah, i'm
a dork!) i'm on the couch, having a cup of tea and munching on cookies that my Master made for me.
Lucky girl. Grateful girl!

But it's just a vest....

2007-12-16T17:49:00.001-08:00

***i wasn't going to write about this, because i didn't want anyone
else to find out about it. But i think this is an important thing, so
i'm sharing it with you all.***

Well, the weather held out so Master gave the go ahead to get dressed
up and head out to the NYboL bar night. As usual, the boys did a bang
up job and packed the 9th Ave Saloon. There was a delightful Santa to
pose with, Mr Eagle 2008, Peter Schwartz. The cake to celebrate the 2
year anniversary of NYboL was great. We had an amazing time taking to
S. D. which for some reason, we just never get a chance to do. It was
nice to get some time with him. i really like the boy's mind! :-)

So, then.. it's time to leave. Master gathered up our coats. We grabbed
a cab, got back to Master's car and.... hey, why is there only one vest
on the back seat of the car? Yeah, my vest. Missing. my heart sank, my
stomach almost flew out of my throat, but since my throat was closed
and i was hyperventilating, it didn't . A million thoughts ran through
my mind:

i'm an idiot.

Master is going to be so disappointed in me.

i'm in big trouble.

Master Jim and slave marsha and Mark Frasier and Cougar are going to kick my ass.

i'm a bad slave.

i was already planned 2 things: my funeral and how i was going to get
another vest and patch made so no one would ever know what i did. i
know i'm not the only person who's ever misplaced a title vest. In
fact, i have rescued a few myself for other people who put them down in
a bar or at an event. But, let me tell you - when it's YOUR vest, it's
the most agonizing feeling that you've ever had.

Master totally kept His cool, while i became a gibbering lunatic in the passenger seat. i made a few calls to the boys to look
around for it and we drove back to the Saloon. There it was. Just sitting
there all alone. my poor vest. i scooped it up, took some well deserved
ribbing from the boys and we headed home.

Since this incident ended up well in the end, it was a great
opportunity to think about what this hunk of Leather means to me. Since
this one was the result of 2 solid years of preparation, soul
searching, darn hard work - it means a lot to me. As a result of all
the work i put in to myself towards earning the title, i've gotten much
better at speaking my mind, standing up for myself and being very clear
about what my needs and wants are. And making sure that they get met.
It's like it's the skin i grew as i was making this journey and found
my true self. Master and i both get big grins on our faces, still -
almost a year after earning these vests. Every time. They're a part of
our personal history and a part of the community's history.

"But it's just a vest." No. No, it is not.

Fabulous!

2007-12-14T20:38:00.001-08:00

Master took me to see I AM LEGEND tonight. Fantastic!

i got a package from a new California friend! i can't wait to have a free moment to sit with a glass of Shiraz, lit some candles and open it. Oh, yes, it's so good to have a fellow member of the V.B. Fan Club! Thanks Daddy George! i love You!

After i cooked up an amazing dinner, but before we left for the movie, i got a LONG phone call that i was waiting for. Plans are made, girl is happy, happy, HAPPY! Did i say i was happy? Oh, Yes. Happy, with a capital "Fuck Yeah!"

Fabulous. Lucky girl. me.

Snow NO!

2007-12-14T10:09:00.001-08:00

Ordinarily, i get quite jazzed about snow. i love big blizzards, being
snow bound. Baking bread and making soup in between shoveling. Hot
chocolate, steaming cups of chai and snuggling in my fuzzy socks.
Explaining to the neighbors that "yes, i do wear a skirt while i am
shoveling. No, i do not own any pants. Please go away." Taking the dogs
for long snowy walks. This is the first time in a long time that i have
been so anti-snow.

i REALLY want to go to the NYboL bar night! It's their 2 year
anniversary. i feel like we haven't gotten to spend anywhere near
enough time with the boys. We became associate members and then soon
after, won the International titles... so we've been on the road a lot.
They all did so much for us, hosting our fund raiser before we headed
off the South Plains last year, the NYboL Bootblacks took such darn
good care of us.... i just want to go to the party and be festive, damn
it!

Mrs. Snow, Please hold off until Sunday morning, OK?