Spanky

We lost a friend and family member this week. One of the strongest and gentlest men I have ever known. Brave and so proud of who and what he was. A man I was proud to call a brother, or a sister, depending on what shoes he was wearing at any given moment. In boots or in heels, Spanky was the very definition of a beautiful spirit.

Obituary from the Asbury Park Press.
Mark F. Bialous

AGE: 44 • Neptune

Mark F. Bialous, 44, of Neptune, passed away Tuesday, April 5, 2011, at his home of complications due to esophageal cancer. He was surrounded by his family and friends. Affectionately known as "Spanky", Mark was born in Brooklyn, N.Y. and has resided in the Asbury Park area for many years. A licensed practical nurse, Mark had worked in the Monmouth County Correctional Facility and was Pharmaceutical Manager for the last three years. In 2008, he earned the title of Mr. NJ Leather. He was also a friend of Bill W.

Mark was predeceased by his mother, Viola; and his father, Henry. He is survived by his brother, Henry "Hank" Bialous of Lindenwold; his sister-in-law, Linda (Mini Mom) Bialous; and his external family of choice.

Visitation will be from 2 to 4 p.m. and 7 to 9 p.m. Saturday, April 9 in Buckley Funeral Home, 509 Second Ave., Asbury Park. A Memorial Celebration will be held at a later date. In lieu of flowers, donations in Mark's name may be made to the Foodbank of Monmouth and Ocean Counties or a charity of your choice.

kinda gross but......

On my way home, i spotted something along the side of the road. Luckily i had my camera with me, so i turned around and got some amazing photos! i am so pleased with these. Red tail hawk is special to me, near and dear to my heart.

closing down the OTHER blog

We're pulling the plug on the internationamasterandslave2007.com website, so that blog will be going away also. i've been mirroring that one here, so if you're still interested in following along, this is were i will do any M/s related updates.

If you're interested in following along with our workouts and my healthy journey, please check out the other blogs we have:
http://raisetheiron.blogspot.com
http://girlsraiseirontoo.blogspot.com/

We've not abandoned M/s, in fact, we just renewed our contract for another year. However, getting a handle on my health has taken priority, as well as Master's new position and me taking (another) huge pay cut.....funds have been scarce for any extra traveling.

We're still here, still getting in to trouble, still making noise and rocking out, still crazy, still M/s. Taybor is fine, Lilu remains cancer free. If you drop by the other blogs, please say HI, we'd love to know you stopped by!
Peace,
barb

The Melissa Etheridge show....

OK, so people who know Master and i well know that someone near and very dear to us came out a few months ago (at the age of 80, i might add!) In the weeks and months in between she's been just an absolute pleasure to be around, no more fighting, no weird uber-conservative comments, no snarky remarks about hair or tattoos....just pleasant. Also, a huge thirst for music. She asked us to get tickets for Melissa Etheridge. Really? Hmmm.... i think the last concert she went to was Frank Sinatra back in the late 40's or 50's. Master hustled up some dynamite tickets and then the anticipation began to build. She was so excited!

To be honest, Master and i were a bit apprehensive. Melissa's not exactly the music we usually listen to. Her concerts last for 3 hours. Could we stand it? Could she? (i mean, she's 80. It's a long concert. She hates loud music....) Friday night, we picked her up and drove in to New Brunswick. One comment was made about what i was wearing "It's nice that you wore something low cut, you look nice. And your tattoos are showing, great!" (what? really?)

Well, we got in to our seats. The lights went down. Tribal drumming music starts. A few band members walked slowly thought the audience burning sage and cedar, blessing the room. i thought "very cool, but what's she going to think" She's looking a bit uncomfortable. But, ok, she also looks determined. Then there's this rumble coming from the crowd in the back of the auditorium. Flashlights waving around in the aisle....You hear a woman's voice on a microphone "we are all here to celebrate!" The crowd was moving like a wave....excitement! Yup, Melissa's coming through the crowd and walking right down the aisle we're in. Our newly out "friend" steps out in to the aisle and is dancing around like a 5 year old. Master and i are grinning. Melissa walks right towards her and put her hands on her shoulders in an embrace "we are all here to celebrate!" We're all crying like a bunch of fools. *grin* Melissa takes the stage, our "friend" turns to us and says "Frank Sinatra never walked through the crowd like that" i told her Lesbians are made of stronger stuff and Frank was a wimp. :-)

The show was spectacular. 3 hours of amazing music. She won me over with the first blues riff and blew me away. She's an under rated guitar talent. Truly in the top 5 concerts i've ever seen and i've been to hundreds, if not thousand of shows. Our friend made it through the entire show, occasionally breaking out of her seat to run up front and snap some photos like a teen age fan girl. What a blast. i think i just might have to take her to K.D. Lang (my favorite) or maybe the Indigo Girls... or the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival.....

Apparently....

No matter what century - someone, somewhere, somehow....has been carting LiLu to the vet. :-)

Today we got to decrease her prednisone, so hopefully she'll sleep thru the night and i won't have to wake up every 45 minutes to let her out to pee. This coming Saturday she'll be getting chemo #5.

Manhattenhenge

For those of you lucky enough to be in the NYC area tonight, please enjoy this!
Manhattenhenge.

4th of July

After a brutal and distressing Friday, in which i got another pay cut at
work - it was time for a blessed and much needed 3 day weekend.
Friday
night was spent at home and was quiet and full of hot sexy fun. (This
might be too much information, but i've been having a serious issue with
a total cessation of my sex drive. Be it from the "Peri-menopause" or
whatever. It was just gone, bye-bye sex drive. However, i believe that
due to the changes in diet and supplements i've been taking, it's back.
In force. Like i was when i was 20. No kidding!)

Saturday we headed off to the gym. i was determined to set some PB's
(personal bests) since it was the 8th anniversary of my ITP diagnosis.
:-)
So, the PB's that i set on Saturday were as follows:
Overhead
shoulder press machine - 50 lbs (up 5 lbs from last week) (up 25 lbs
since Jan 2010) (plus i do these one arm at a time, because Master says
it's more difficult that way and He wants me to be tough.)

Decline bench press - 100 lbs!!! (up 20 lbs since last week) (up 35 lbs
since Jan 2010) (can you tell i've been dicking around with this
exercise? yeah....)
There were of course, many, many more exercises -
these are just the 2 that i felt were note worthy. i'll leave out the
description of me trying to do an 35 lb incline dumb bell shoulder press
and having an epic fail on that one - laid there like a bug under a
rock, struggling... Master had to rescue me. Damn. And i did that weight
a few times before!

Post gym, we swung home and picked up the Queen for chemo #3. At the
hospital, her blood tested so amazingly great that they actually
increased her chemo dose to fight those bastard cells extra hard! i was
super pleased that her tests came back so well, the supplements and food
changes are working for her too!

Home, rest, eat and eat and eat! and sex, sex and more sex. A good Saturday! Very good.

Sunday,
up early, home made bread toasted on the grill outside....off to the
gym for Leg Day. i started off with a PB on the Leg Press - 798 lbs (up
45 lbs from last week) (up 195 lbs since Jan 2010)

We also tried out some Diamond Bar Dead Lifts. Not huge weight for me,
but i've been scared to try dead lifts and it was time to get over that.
:-) Now i like them!
Hack squats, i left the weight the same as
last week, since last Sunday i smashed the weight i was doing by 90 lbs.
Yup, another exercise that i was underestimating myself in. i went from
180 lbs to 270.

Home, food, rest, food, food, food and then... you guessed it: lots of
sex. And cooking. The funny thing is, with the changes that both Master
and i have made in our food intake, we're both always cooking.
Sunday
afternoon i realized that something was seriously amiss with my right
wrist. i believe it's a combination of the weight lifting and the sex
(there was some contortions going on). Master thinks it's funny to just
blame all the sex.

Monday was just a day of blissful rest, icing my wrist, eating and
sleeping. i'm now eating more food that i ever did and my weight is
steadily albeit slowly dropping. This was a long post with my banged up
wrist, so i am signing off now. Peace!

i think i just pee'd my panties....

Last night as Master was watching TV and i was reading a book.. He stepped away for a second, i happened to glance at the screen, only to see a preview of the 11:00 news. i saw this picture and a very serious sounding voice over talking about a criminal who has been robbing stores in NYC. This is a real police sketch. Really. i'm not kidding. i was laughing so hard i couldn't breathe - Master came back in the room and was all like "what the fuck are you lying on the floor and choking for?" Until i hit rewind on the DVR. He promptly slid on the floor like a boneless fish fillet and joined me in my hysteria. So, without further ado, i bring to you the dastardly Cat Burglar! (i feel suspiciously like i might live in Gotham City....)

Southeast Leather Fest....

Hot, sexy, fun, hard work, laughter, tears, draining, recharging, empowering, learning, getting pinned, getting laid, new friends, reconnecting with old friends, a cigar-ash-covered-delicious boy.....Yup, another amazing time at SELF.

It's hard to even begin writing my adventures down. What an amazing weekend. i *so* needed to recharge my "leather batteries" and this was exactly what i needed. An amazing judging panel that i was lucky enough to be a part of. i'll write more once i have a chance to process it all.

Back at the home front, the dogs were absolutely wild while we were away. One side effect of the meds the queen is on is that she has to pee a lot. When i say a lot, i mean..... holy mother of pee! So, there was a lot of accidents that the sitter had to clean up. i think some of the flooring is going to have to be replaced in the living room, but i would like to wait and see if we can get her settled down in to a non-pee-fountain before i go pulling up pergo and putting down new. So, not only was there a lot of cleaning to do but they even busted down the baby gate and had the run of the house. grrrrrr! (i don't trust dogs in the kitchen unattended since the late great Mr Basil turned on the stove once when we weren't at home and nearly burned the house down. Ugh!) But nothing bad happened this time.

i managed to carry on the 80-90% paelo/primal eating while away and felt WAY better at an event than i have in years. Good on me! It was a bit of work lugging all my supplies on the plane but totally worth it. :-)
More later... 

A BEAR!!!!! Plus Pride....

What a lovely Leather/Pride weekend. HOT! Saturday i got to spend some time with Jake, and Alex (and Alex's lovely friends...) and the Daddies...and everyone! Fun! Foreplay rocked as usual. We even had a Bootblack Jim sighting! :-)
Sunday, we marched in the Asbury Park Pride Parade. i got to carry the Girl Pride Flag. Again it was hot, but i had such a great time. i have to say that i feel the best that i have in a long time. Between all the hard work in the gym, the stretching, the change to my diet (90% paleo/primal) and all the suppliments i'm taking - my joints didn't ache and my hips didn't hurt after standing on concrete all day Saturday nor marching on asphalt on Sunday. Usually after a Pride weekend i'm crippled for a few days. :-) i am a happy gal, let me tell ya!

After spending the weekend with assorted Leather folk and quite a few Bears...Monday's ride home was a shocker. Why are there so many helicopters flying over my job? Why is traffic backed up? What's going on? Hmmmmm... a BEAR!!!!! In the trees!!!!!!! Here he is all drugged up and ready to be moved back to the woods. Poor guy!

LiLu is doing great. Her incision is finally healed up. Chemo starts on the 19th.

Lilu update

Her Royal Highness, Queen LiLu, is feeling MUCH better. After taking the stitches out, her leg was pretty much back to a normal size within 24 hours. (well, that plus ice and massage helps too)
She's back to sassin' Taybor all the time. She's back to begging for as much food as possible. She's figured out when the pill bottles rattle that it's time for peanut butter or cheese (with a pill inside it!)

Interesting factiod: When we got her, her tail was straight. As she got acclimated to the house, it got a bit of a curl to it. After she had her knee surgery, it was straight again. Until she was healed up and healthy. Then it got super curly, like a donut. Since the last surgery her tails been sort of flat and droopy. This morning we achieved full on curly again! So, now we know the Barometer Of Canine Good Health & General Good Feeling is working just fine.

Chemo starts on June 19th. 

For my local peeps:

This one is near and dear to me. i love my library. You should love your library too. If you live in NJ, please get involved in this. It's important. Our collective brains are at stake!

NJ Libraries Eliminated From State Budget

Gov. Christie's budget calls for a 74% decrease in funding for
statewide library services. This cut includes the elimination of all
statewide library programs and services. This will affect all types of
libraries in New Jersey. Once state funding is eliminated, NJ will lose
$4.5 million in federal funding. What does this mean to NJ residents?
Once state and federal funding are lost the impact will be felt by all
residents:

Access to electronic databases such as RefUSA and EBSCO will cease Statewide interlibrary loan and delivery of library materials will cease Libraries will lose 50% of state aid at a time when demand for services is increasing dramatically More than half of public libraries will lose access to the Internet Many libraries will lose email service Many libraries will lose their websites or access to them The Talking Book and Braille Center (known as the Library for the Blind and Physically Handicapped) will close Group contracts which bring down the cost of other electronic resources purchased by libraries will cease At the same time the state is eliminating funding for library programs. Assemblyman John DiMaio has introduced A2555 which eliminates the minimum local funding requirement for municipal public libraries. This assault on libraries must be stopped! Here is what you need to know: 160,242 people enter a NJ library every day The $10 million in library programs cut from the Governor's budget represent little more than $1 per capita in state funds. Library programs have been flat funded for 20 years so it is hard to believe these small programs have caused the state's current fiscal crisis. Local library funding targeted in A2555 typically represents less than 3% of local property taxes. What can you do? Become a Library Champion. Join the Facebook group Save NJ Libraries and check for updates on our efforts. Call or send a message to the Governor (609) 292-6000, your State Senator and Assembly representatives opposing the elimination of funding for library programs and A2555. http://capwiz.com/ala/nj/home/ Why Become a Library Champion? Library Champions are people who love their libraries and want to be in the know about issues that may affect them.  Being a Library Champion means:  Giving us your email address so that we can contact you when needed.  Taking appropriate action such as phone calls, emails to legislators or simply talking to your neighbors about the value of library services. When you become a Library Champion we promise that we will only use your email address to contact you on issues affecting library service.  We will never share, or sell, your contact information.  Please join us in preserving library service in New Jersey.  Click on the red icon to the left to become a Library Champion. New Jersey Libraries - Busier Than Ever According to the latest data your public library is a very busy place. 51,169,912 annual visits to public library 63,935,203 items checked out- up 4 million from last year 8,020,846 questions asked 3,677,575 programs attended 169,958 NJ children read 3,467,161 books during summer reading last year. 68% of the American Public have a library card 83% of New Jersey residents say funding public libraries is a good investment  (source: 2007 Potomac Public Opinion Survey) 71% of New Jersey residents believe a public library is an essential service for the community- not a cultural amenity. (source: 2007 Potomac Public Opinion survey) Tell Us Your Story Libraries transform lives everyday.  Click here to see how! Do you have a story about how libraries (or the people that work there) have helped you?  Please tell us!  Did You Know That In Just One Day 160,242 people walked through our doors 126,626 books, movies and more were borrowed 24,153 people used computers 15,053 questions were answered 1,015 people got employment help 1,121 programs were offered 892 people learned computer skills

Lessons in Lymphedema.....

After a fantastic 3 day weekend, we had a bit of a scare with Queen LiLu.
First the good: 3 days off! Bliss! We cooked every meal except one outside on the grill. Even our pre-workout breakfast toast! We pretty much lived on the patio all weekend. Our dinners were great - spatchcocked chicken, dry rubbed and grilled to perfection, country pork ribs, also dry rubbed and finished with magic sauce (recipe to follow soon.), steaks-grilled with just salt & pepper to perfection. Plus some hot dogs and a few burgers here and there. (Though Taybor almost ruined Monday's dinner by stealing 3/4 of a pound of raw burgers!!!! i ended up finishing up the leftover chicken instead of having a burger. my dog is a thief!)
We made time to explore 2 really old local cemeteries, dating back to the early 1700's. Very cool. While there we saw assorted wildlife: chipmunks, a box turtle what was probably as old as some of the tombstones and a whole mess of wild turkeys! They're huge!
Sunday was spent at the gym. i pushed my own personal best and did 2 sets of 778 on the leg press. (also, realized that i am approaching, albeit slowly, a 100 lb bench press. No kidding. i've been kind of whining and scuffing my toe that "i only press 35 lbs." Master helpfully pointed out that the bar, with no weight on it is 45 lbs! Hah!) The rest of the day was spent lolling around and eating. :-)
Monday we checked local beach. Yup, who knew our town has a tiny beach on the Raritan Bay. Is it nice? Well, not exactly. i mean it's cool cause it's local but it's kind of funky. But still a nice day bird watching and enjoying the sunshine with my Master.
Monday night.... Hmmm, what's wrong with LiLu's leg? It looks... puffy. We iced it and gave her some pain meds but it was a rough night for us all. i thought the worst - Infection. i hustled her off to the vet this morning (and on the way the wound drained all over the back seat of my car!) and they took us right in. It turns out that the girl has Lymphedema from having the Lymph node taken out. That upsets the whole natural flow of lymph around the body and can cause it to pool and swell. Not good, but not infection, yet. So, preventative antibiotics, restricted activity, massage and ice are her prescription. Dr. F also experimentally took out one stitch that seemed to be really giving her grief and wow, the relief in LiLu's whole body was amazing. She just relaxed in my arms with a huge sigh. The swelling was making the stitches put pressure on her leg like a tourniquet! So, we popped out all of the stitches, which were due to come out in a few days anyway. i left her resting comfortable at home and got my butt in to work.
And that was how i spent my 3 day weekend!

a Real Food topic

i am hoping to win this:

GIVEAWAY: $85 US Wellness Meats Gift Certificate

i really love their products and if i won, well - i'd spend the whole thing on their natural dog food!
We got the news last night that LiLu will need to start chemo since they found some mast cells in her lymph node. Sigh... So, i need to nourish her with as much good food as possible. We already eat their pemmican. Well, i eat it and the dogs eat it. Master just looks perturbed and says "I am not eating a pelican!" i think it's delicious. i eat it before working out for an energy boost.
***********************
On a things are good note, the bruising on LiLu's leg is about 75% lighter and the swelling is about 60% gone. We all went for a walk around the neighborhood. (During which she somehow cut her other back foot! good lord!) Other than the cut, i think the walk did her good as far as getting her circulation going and decreasing the swelling and getting that bruising to move out. This morning when we headed out for our morning pee, she bounced around the living room , on and off the furniture like a crazy skateboarding kid, like she always does. So, i guess she's feeling better. :-)

She's home!

What a looooooooong weekend. Master deliver LiLu to the surgeon on Friday afternoon. He was thrilled that the tumor responded so well to the drugs they'd prescribed and had shrunk over 50%. Surgery was a big GO for Saturday morning.
 Friday evening we were going to drop off my car for some maintenance work at the dealer, this is after i'd had to have the ignition repaired last week. LO and Behold, the same ignition problem occurred so, now i am driving a rental car that they provided.
Master & i had to attend a work function on Saturday that was a lot of fun. But by the time we got home, Master was chanting in a sing-song-little-kid-voice "feet like pancakes and skin like a lobster!" Yup, we both had some sore flat feet from standing on concrete all day and we were both pretty sunburned. :-)
Sunday we get the call to come pick the girl up at the vet. Actually, they gave us the option to leave her there one more day since she was a mess of bruises and swelling. She'd require ice packs and massage and they didn't know if we'd be able to do that for her. What? Of course we would!!!
However, both of us were pretty shocked and horrified by how bad she looked. my poor girl looks like she'd been hit by a car. Her leg is literally black from the bruising. She's so swollen that even her toes are puffy. There are 2 huge incisions, one for the tumor and one for a lymph node that they took from the back of her leg for testing. There's a 3 x 3 square shaved in the side of her body which has a pain relieving drug patch taped on it. (it has writing on it, so to me she looks like a demented NASCAR) Add to all of this the cone collar that she has to wear and the overall effect is that she looks like a version of Tim Burton's Frankenweenie.
Since she isn't supposed to leap up on the the bed we both slept on the couch last night. Well, she slept. i lay there worrying. Then this morning, she busted in to the bedroom and hopped up on the bed, looking very proud of herself. my dog-daughter, the Tank. We'll find out in a week or so what the deal is... chemo? no chemo? Lymph node ok? More waiting games. Overall, i am feeling pretty positive about the outcome for her, but  i just feel so bad for the girl that she's in such discomfort. (though, she's either taking or has taken every pain killing drug in the past 4 days, up to and including Valium AND Propofol!!!!!)

That's the update for today. i'm not sure if it makes sense since i'm a bit looped from lack of sleep.
Thank you to everyone for your support! Love ya!

This is what it looks like....

This is what it looks like when i leg press 753 lbs:
 

RIP Dio.

It's really been a tough year in Rock n Roll. Good bye Dio. Great singer! Without you, there'd be no Maloik... and all us Legions of Metal fans would have nothing to do with our hands during concerts. :-)

my own tiny personal connection to Dio was that he was once in my car, being ferried from the hotel to the concert at Birch Hill. Very cool.

LiLu update

Well, my Little One had an appointment with the oncologist last night. Things are looking very good for her, expensive but good.
We started her on a 10 day course of prenesone to try to shrink the tumor as much as possible (and also lessen any histamine release post surgery) and then she'll see the surgeon on Friday 5/21. If all goes well, we'll leave her there at that time and they'll operate the next day. After that, she'll most likely have weekly chemo for about 6 weeks. Because of the location of the tumor and her condition (muscular, no fat!) they won't be able to take out as much surrounding tissue as they'd like to. The Dr called her a tank! :-) He actually said if she was fat they'd have an easier time removing it. LOL.... so if my dog was unhealthy, she'd have a better shot at life? Ironic....

The overall outcome looks positive. She has the "garden variety stage II" tumor. Not the super aggressive grade II. They offered us the choice between radiation afterwards (daily treatments, for many weeks, thousands of $$$ and a 95% cure rate) or chemo (weekly treatment for weeks, fewer thousands of $$$ and an 85% cure rate). We have no real choice but to go with the chemo. Not only is the radiation totally not in the budget (not that the chemo is either!) but to take her daily would cut in to our own money making capabilities and then we'd never be able to pay for this. i hate to put money in to the mix but realistically, there is no other choice.

With all that being said, i wish that any doctor that i have ever dealt with for my illnesses made me feel as confident as this guy. Dr. C was amazing. He gave us a written report of all the details that we spoke about, because we all know how you get home from one of these appointments and your mind is just blank. "What did he say?" plus, you just gotta love a Dr who will sit on the floor for 45 minutes going over the treatment options, while stroking and patting the patient (and calling her "monkey") {though, if MY doctors had done that to me it might have been a bit weird.....}
The hospital itself is beautiful, really state of the art. It's open 24 hours, 7 days. It has valet parking. Really, i'm not kidding! So, as stressful as this is, at least we'll be in beautiful surroundings during treatment.

i know we have a lot of people across the country who are keeping us in their thoughts and prayers. i want you guys to know that makes a huge difference to Master & i. Therefore, you all are not allowed to uncross your fingers, toes and paws just yet. i'll keep the updates coming as i am able.

If....

If you are doing yard work in front of the house and you do sets of one handed overhead shoulder press with this:

Your neighbors will run away in fright. *grin*

If you have trouble doing math while working out and you accidentally put too much weight on the leg press machine, and you lift the weight successfully anyway - enjoy it. However, do not not be ashamed to realize that the ominous creaking in your knees means that you moved the weight up too fast and should back it down again for a few weeks.
With that said, you can still gloat that you did 2 sets at 768 lbs.
Even if you only did it because you can't add. (45+45+45+45.....and so on....)

the problem with needing reading glasses

OK, the problem with needing reading glasses as i get older is not that i have trouble reading at night, in dim light or even that i have more trouble threading a needle when i want to sew. The problem is that as i am halfway through eating a delicious bowl of fresh blackberries (which i washed very well, i might add) is that i notice that i think i see something moving. So i grab my glasses and take a close look.
They... Are....Swarming with teeny tiny bugs. Thousands of them. Which can only mean that i have eaten plenty of them. When i said that i wanted to eat primal, this is not what i had in mind. At all. Blargh!