draining

Well, after an emotionally draining weekend... a lot of tough relationship issues worked over discussed.... now i had to take my poor Taybor to the vet for some draining of his own. Poor boy either has an abcess OR a blocked salivary gland. He's running a fever, very lethargic and really in a lot of pain. i took him to the vet this morning and they might have to shave his face and neck, knock him out and take some x-rays to figure out what's going on.

(just heard from the vet. They drained what they could but it looks like trauma boy needs to go to a specialist surgeon! Oy! i'm going to go pick him up in a little while and then hit my books and see what i can do for him herbally so avoid surgery. Wish me luck!) i can't wait to see if they shave his face....... :-(

raw fish by the river and dust devils!

Last night after work i headed over to Donaldson Park to meet Sir for dinner. i packed a real china dish and silverware for Him and my dog bowl for me (i always use a dog bowl at home for all my meals) Picked up some chinese food for Him and some sashimi for me (perhaps i should have used a cat bowl for the fish...)

It was about 15 degrees cooler by the Raritan River, beautiful clouds, chirping birds, a few jet skiiers racing up and down the river. Really a nice alfresco event!

We headed home once it started to look like a thunder storm and as we were crossing the highway bridge that overlooks the park - i noticed a huge nasty dust devil in the park, right where we'd been eating! WOW, scary! we got out of there just in time!

Home, we fed our other wants and needs and went to bed happy! :-)

Off to the Leather bar night at Cruisin' tonight. We had to skip last month due to TES Fest, so i haven't seen all my Asbury peeps in a while. i am looking forward to seeing everyone and reconnecting.

pretzle people

Sir and i went back to Yoga last night after about a month off. Wow! i really  missed that class! It was very crowded, which i was surprised at. It's still over a 100 degrees here, i just assumed people would be home in front of a fan, with an ice pack on their heads.....

It was a tough routine last night, but i enjoyed it. i have to say that i really enjoyed when the teacher was going around checking form and she exclaimed loudly "look at that form! this is a perfect Trikonasana! your spine! your spine is perfect!  Which, of course, startled me and i almost fell over on my face. (perfect? i thought there was no perfect or not perfect in Yoga?)

i'm really proud of myself for the progress that i've made recovering from the surgeries, especially the one for the i.v port in my chest which really hampered my flexibility. Plus the steriods i took have a side effect of shortening the tendons so i was really a creaky stiff person for a few years. i love my Yoga!

i'm also really proud of Sir for even trying Yoga. He can be a bit skeptical of anything that seems a bit New Age and perhaps anything that has the potential to make Him look foolish (as in "what if everyone laughs when I fall over during class?") But He's really taken to it and is darn impressive. And we've both found out that no one notices if you fall over in class because they are falling over also. OK, so we get the giggles whenever we see each other fall over, but it's not being malicous or judgemental. It's just funny and Goddess loves laughter!

i am grateful for:

i am grateful for airconditioning.
i am grateful for the person who invented the slurpee.
i am grateful that i don't have to work outside tarring the roads.

i promise i will not complain during the winter when it's 10 degrees out and snowing here. Really -i promise!
************************************************************

A very nice gentleman emailed me some pictures that he took of Sir and i at the contest. If anyone else out there has any pictures - please get in contact with me. i only have a few that were taken by people we were with and i'd love to have others. Perhaps one where i don't look so frightened by winning! LOL!

As Promised:

As i promised all the people who asked for them, Here is the link to our 2 minute speeches from the M/s Conference. i am honored that so many people said that i touched them with my words. It's mutual - i wouldn't be here with out the encouragement of others and the support of the community. So, i thank you!

Please do check out Sir's essays also. They were written when He was facilitator for MAsT Metro NY. Fun! Insightful! Witty! Enjoy! :-)

Pancakes, insomnia and melted plastic

Sunday - still recovering from my lack of sleep on Friday night/Saturday morning. Made pancakes for Sir and the pups. Here's Taybor begging at the stove. Few things are more pathetic than a 60 lb puppy begging for a pancake! Oy!

i spent most of the day in seclusion in my so-called studio. i did a bit of an overhaul on it, but it still remains the Households junk room. i need to throw away about 3/4 of the things in there. (there's a BIG piece of bondage furniture in there that needs a new home....) Each time i try to dig it out, more and more clutter gets dumped in there. It's a losing battle. After i gave up on cleaning (3 trash bags later) i settled down and had a good 5 hours of melting plastic, using distress inks and paint. i even used my wicked heat gun to get some cool effects on a piece. Not relaxing at all and only somewhat cathartic - but it'll have to do for now.

Sir got me up at 6:00 on Monday, i didn't work in the studio as i hoped to. The thought of doing a big dig out that early just gives me the willies. But i got some tea and quiet time with the dogs - which the 3 of us needed. i'll try again tomorrow morning. Small steps....

Ladies and Gentlemen - World/Inferno

Well, that was one of the best shows i've seen in my life - and i've been to a lot of concerts! i am so proud of Jack and the gang. Jack's matured into a fabulous frontman and not too shabby of a dancer, i might add. :-) Jitterbug, indeed! Their new material was fantastic live and with the addition of a handful of extra musicians the sound was as full and exciting as you'd expect from WIFS. It was pretty amazing to get to see them on their home turf at the end of tour. Welcome home!

Forces conspired against me and kept me hostage dancing & singing loudly up in the balcony all evening, so although he acknowledged that we were there from the stage, i was unable to spend any time with him. Oh, well. Sad - maybe the NEXT time he gets back from a tour of the U.S., i'll get to spend some time with him. Next time, i'll make other, better arrangements. i learned my lesson.

No sleep at all once we got home, i just laid there looking at the ceiling all night. i finally got up put of bed at the ungodly hour of 5:00 am, asked Sir to release me from my slave jammies and then went out and weeded the front yard, had some tea and now i'm off to find some breakfast. Should be a productive day with all this extra time..... i expect i'll be crashing and burning at around noon, fast asleep on the kitchen floor or some other ridiculous place.....

crawling out

i feel as if i am finally crawling out from beneath this past weekend! i don't know if i was fighting off a 'bug' or having post stress exhaustion or the fabulous effects of perimenopause.... what ever it was, i felt like crap!

i feel a bit resuscitated after the "date" last night. Yeah, hot wet dirty sex is a great revival for me. i like sex that's so good that afterwards you need to find orange juice to fix up your blood sugar and your stomach is rumbling... piggy! It was too late to eat last night so today i am feasting on pretty good take out sushi for lunch.

Tonight we are going to see World/Inferno Friendship Society play at the Bowery Ballroom. It'll be good to see Jack and the Gang, triumphantly returning to NYC after the tour of the U.S. and it'll be good to compare scars since Mr. Jack had his appendix out a few weeks ago. (yes, i love scars....)

It feels good to be returing to a normal pace and not reading our presentations 2x every night. i will enjoy the peace while i can before the preparations for South Plains begins!
*********************************************************
For all those people who asked me to publish my two minute speech online - i will be working on some changes to Sir's website this weekend and i'll be putting it up there, somewhere.... (there will be a link on this blog to take you there...)

Northeast Master slave Conference

Well, faithful readers..... It was an exhausting and very rewarding weekend. Sir Larry and i were given the honor of representing the Northeast region as the Northeast Master & slave for 2006. i will write more later - right now it's time to finish unpacking and getting the household fed and the puppies settled down!

Mini van, mini surgery, mini freak out

Let's start with the mini freak out - ok, not a real freak out, but there was a LOT of hysterical giggling and really bad jokes this morning at HSL. We're both starting to get really reved up and excited/nervous about the contest. The contest is going to be fun, everything will be fine - but we needed to blow off some steam and this morning was the time to do it. It was nice to be able to laugh that hard at ourselves and still feel confident that we will do our best over the weekend.

LiLu is feeling super fiesty! The vet told Sir he'd probably have to carry her to the car, but when they brought her out of her cage at the office she was jumping and leaping around. That's my girl - strong and unstoppable! The bad thing is, since she feels pretty good she really doesn't want to stay in her crate! She's been barking non-stop since she came home. i'd love to let her run around, i'm sure she'd be fine - but not until the staples come out of her legs. i ran out to Target to get her a new bed this morning, her old one is fake sheep skin and all the fuzz was sticking to her incision. Not very hygenic.
Taybor is very angry that she's locked up. He pooped and pee'd on the floor as a solidarity protest to get us to release the prisoner this morning. grrr.....
Sir and i went to get the mini van this morning. It's...well, it's a mini van. Not very hip looking but it's got lots of space for all the baskets and it's got great air conditioning - vital during this heat wave we're having.

By the way, when i got my hair cut yesterday - the first thing Randy said was "oh, you went darker" Yeah, predictable!

Off for more packing and to find some lunch...

LiLu's out of surgery!

Lilu is fine! The surgery is done.

All four pins ( 2 in each leg!) have been removed.

Each leg had two large pins and two small pins. Both small pins were broken. (BROKEN??? my little girl plays rough with her big brother!) One of the small pins was not able to be removed all the way because of how it broke off in the bone. The Dr. doesn't feel that will be a problem because the pin is very imbedded in the bone.
No food tonight, just ice chips and antibiotics and pain killers and bed rest for 5 days. Then back to get her staples out in 10 days....i think i'm glad that i'll be at the conference and won't get to see her... i feel so guilty when she has to be confined but she's feeling perky and wants to play!

LiLu off to the vet

Here's a picture of a very unhappy pup! Poor Lilu was circling around me this morning, asking me as only a hungry pup can "why are you feeding my brother? where's my food? how come i can't have any water? why did put down to toilet lid so i can't have a drink?"
She should be up and around tonight if everything goes smoothly. i hope they don't find anything weird in her knees when they open her back up. The pins holding her knee caps in place were purposly left just a bit raised from the bone to facilitate easy removal - they migrate about 25% of the time, so they leave an easy out for situations such as these. i wonder how shaved she'll be? She just grew all her fur back from the last surgery! i wonder if they'll take out just the pin that's bothering her or take them both out?

Anxious dog mother awaiting news from the surgeon.....

Breaking rules

Yeah, yeah: not rules that Sir makes for me... my own personal rules. "Never switch hair colour brands before an event."
Totally Trauma Proof Hair Color  my ass!

i can't wait to get my hair cut tomorrow and Randy will cock his head at me, puzzled, and say "oh, you decided to go for a change? mmmmm... it's kind of... dark. " grumble.....i actually like it, but it's not what i wanted and it's definitely NOT what the box shows.

Lilu goes in for her surgery tomorrow a.m.
my allergies are wiping me out - my tonsils even feel swollen! ACK!

i still need to make time to call my Jack. i've been meaning to call Him back since TES Fest, but whenever i look at the clock it's too late at night to call Him. Damn space-time continuum.... If You're reading this - i will probably call You on Wednesday afternoon!

Busy Busy Busy!

 It's Contest central around here! Last minute wardrobe adjustments - taking in the waist on my "fancy" skirt, last minute belt loop additions to my Uniform skirts so i can wear the leather belt that i earned a while ago, boots are cleaned, leathers are cleaned (still need to clean my vest), busy assembling a triptych type display for the Sailing trip - that's coming out really cool!

i'm sure a million more little things will come up between now and when we leave on Thursday, but i'm trying really hard to make sure that at least dinner time will be sacred and peaceful for us. i'm planning a nice, very healthy dinner for the three of us for Wednesday night - so we can just chill out and be grounded & well nourished before we leave.

That's  it for now, back to the frenzy.....i need to clean the bird cage, clean the turtle tank, iron the hankies, pack my meds, find my glasses....

myspace

i am now staying the hell off of myspace. i following links of people/bands i know and i just kept finding person after person that Sir and i used to be good friends with have died in horrible drunken, drug addled puddles of vomit. The death count of friends who i didn't know had died (because we stopped hangin' with them because they were doing too many drugs, etc) is up to 3.

One the good news front, one person - who called himself Alcohol Bob, who supposedly moved to California to become a clown on t.v. - is now a fairly successful director and producer.

i'll end my looking for old friends on that note and try to stop feeling sad.

shrink wrap

Getting all the baskets ready for the auction. The stuff that is actually in baskets has been shrink wrapped. Who knew i had a mummification for inanimate objects fetish?

Thursday date night started out mundane - going to the mall to buy socks for Sir, we ended up at Barnes & Noble to buy some bed time stories for me and then home....
face slapping arm punching hot dirty piss soaked sex. Ahhh, ya gotta love an uninterrupted Thursday evening.

i'm off to take a bath and then i get to clean all of Sir's leathers in preparation for the contest. (plus the chaps, i love the chaps!)
Tomorrow night i get to do all the boots!

Update

i finally finished updating the last TES fest day.

Poor LiLu had another episode this morning. i am looking forward to getting her to the vet on Tuesday to get that pin taken out of her! $1,800 bux to put it in and only $150 to take it out. Grrrr......
Sir and i got a lot of the auction baskets prettied up and shrink wrapped. my pantry (yes, it's my pantry, kitchen is my domain!) looks like a closet of perversion. Baskets of leather goods, blindfolds, dvd's & videos, liquor and food baskets...... Yummy! Just a few more to finish up, the rest of the goods, art work, etc are being delivered in person to the contest.

my outfit for the onstage needs to be taken in at the waist! Hurrah! i have to get that done by the weekend so we can take some pictures next week. It's crunch time for the Hizzles!

More Good news - my dog is a grenade?

It looks like LiLu Dallas just needs to have her pins pulled out of her knees! Big relief! As far as us going to the conference and leaving her in the dog sitters capable hands - the vet said the timing is perfect. Since she'll be in lock down in her crate for most of the day while we are away, it's exactly what she'll need. Bed rest for dogs!

i do still feel bad for her. She's not limping but she's really subdued right now. Poor girl!

(But i do feel good enough to dance around to the new world/inferno friendship society  cd now!)

Bad things and Good things

Let's start with the bad. Lilu was following me in to the kitchen this morning - not scampering, not jumping around. She suddenly yelped and freaked out. i thought she might have stepped on something or gotten stung by something. But, no - it looks like somethings gone wrong with one of the legs that she had repaired. Unfortunately, i had to crate her and head off since i had a meeting with clients that i could NOT miss because of the time i am taking off for the contest. Ugh! i feel so guilty. She's got a 5pm appointment that Sir is taking her to. Cross your fingers and wish her the best - it's going to suck big time if she's got to have another surgery and we have to leave her with the dog sitter!

The good thing is on the way back from my clients, i got to stop at Vintage Vinyl and pick up the new world/inferno friendship society cd. (It's Sir's old band mates band) Damn is it good! Go! Buy it! Now! i am so freakin' proud of those guys! It was also amazing to pick up the cd and have the cashier say "wow, another one sold" and i got the last one. They sold out by 1pm? Awesome! (i just hope the had more than two in stock)

Now, if only i didn't feel so guilt ridden over leaving my broken puppy home alone, i might dance around listening to the cd..... miserable, terrible puppy mother that i am....

Faith, Hope, Love...

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

i heard an interview on BBC Radio with a guy (i missed his name) who survived the London subway bombing last year. He was saying (i'm paraphrasing) that going thru this thing and all the rehabilitation to heal his body & spirit was an amazing experience. When else do you get to see the daily milestones of your progress? Those little things that mark the changes in your life? Yesterday, he could not take a shower unassisted. Today he could. Yesterday he had a panic attack, today he didn't.

Going thru the illness that i had, i hated it. But i actually befriended it and i realize now that i gained a lot more from it than i lost. Much more. i gained a voice. i gain freedom from my fear of death. i gained a great teacher, Susun Weed. Getting sick made me leap in to the abyss and ask my husband to be my Master at last. So, i lost my spleen? What's that in the face of losing my fear of death? Not much of a sacrifice. Just a scar.

Sir and i have gone thru some major changes in the past 6 months. It's been hard - some of the hardest stuff we've ever faced. We both made some major mistakes in communication. Hearing that guy on the BBC today made me realize that if we didn't go thru all this crap together, i'd not get the chance to see the magic of each day as we rebuild and reconstruct and reconnect. Everyday, the 3 of us get a chance to build a family the way we  want it to be. Is it easy? Nope, i'm not saying that. Is it fun? Well, some of it is - a lot of it is not. This is giving me the chance to open myself up to the possibilities that the universe has to offer me. It's given me the opportunity to reach out to connect to others, when i would normally would not.

Will i gain a couple more scars? Probably. But i like my scars and my marks and the stories that i have of surviving my past, coming out stronger in the end. We're still at the point where we are still learning the dance steps and can see the little daily things we do for each other to make this work. There's sacrifice on all our parts. i strive to remain with an open heart and put aside my fear.

i'm just starting to see that staircase now.