But it's just a vest....

***i wasn't going to write about this, because i didn't want anyone
else to find out about it. But i think this is an important thing, so
i'm sharing it with you all.***



Well, the weather held out so Master gave the go ahead to get dressed
up and head out to the NYboL bar night. As usual, the boys did a bang
up job and packed the 9th Ave Saloon. There was a delightful Santa to
pose with, Mr Eagle 2008, Peter Schwartz. The cake to celebrate the 2
year anniversary of NYboL was great. We had an amazing time taking to
S. D. which for some reason, we just never get a chance to do. It was
nice to get some time with him. i really like the boy's mind! :-)



So, then.. it's time to leave. Master gathered up our coats. We grabbed
a cab, got back to Master's car and.... hey, why is there only one vest
on the back seat of the car? Yeah, my vest. Missing. my heart sank, my
stomach almost flew out of my throat, but since my throat was closed
and i was hyperventilating, it didn't . A million thoughts ran through
my mind:



i'm an idiot.

Master is going to be so disappointed in me.

i'm in big trouble.

Master Jim and slave marsha and Mark Frasier and Cougar are going to kick my ass.

i'm a bad slave.



i was already planned 2 things: my funeral and how i was going to get
another vest and patch made so no one would ever know what i did. i
know i'm not the only person who's ever misplaced a title vest. In
fact, i have rescued a few myself for other people who put them down in
a bar or at an event. But, let me tell you - when it's YOUR vest, it's
the most agonizing feeling that you've ever had.



Master totally kept His cool, while i became a gibbering lunatic in the passenger seat. i made a few calls to the boys to look
around for it and we drove back to the Saloon. There it was. Just sitting
there all alone. my poor vest. i scooped it up, took some well deserved
ribbing from the boys and we headed home.



Since this incident ended up well in the end, it was a great
opportunity to think about what this hunk of Leather means to me. Since
this one was the result of 2 solid years of preparation, soul
searching, darn hard work - it means a lot to me. As a result of all
the work i put in to myself towards earning the title, i've gotten much
better at speaking my mind, standing up for myself and being very clear
about what my needs and wants are. And making sure that they get met.
It's like it's the skin i grew as i was making this journey and found
my true self. Master and i both get big grins on our faces, still -
almost a year after earning these vests. Every time. They're a part of
our personal history and a part of the community's history.



"But it's just a vest." No. No, it is not.