Topics for discussion

i thought i'd write somethings down before the meeting for MAsT Central NJ tomorrow. i tend to not be the most spontaneous speaker ever during these meetings, so i figured i'd write my stuff down and share it. Comments are welcome and would be much appreciated! Fire away!

** Does our gender/sexual orientation or identification impact upon our ability to form an M/s relationship?

Personally,
i don't feel that gender has any effect on the ability to form an M/s
relationship. With that being said, if your goal in forming a
relationship is not one of M/s but rather to form a sexual, romantic
partnership than, yes: by all means your gender and orientation will
have an impact on the who and how a relationship is formed.
slaves have gender, SERVICE is genderless.
(Forming a
romantic partnership is a noble and beautiful thing. Just be clear that
that is your goal and stop muddying the waters.What is your intention?
Be clear!)



** Are there problems unique to our individual gender/sexual orientation or identification within such relationships?
The
unique problem that i personally have is trying to separate for myself
and for outsiders the fact that i am a feminist and won't put up with
being treated un-equally or disrespectfully by a man. People on the
outside may see what i do as being a wussy and letting myself be
trampled by "my man" when in fact, Him being a man has nothing to do
with the relationship that we have (in my opinion) He could be a woman
and my *submission* would be the same.


** Are there problems that we regard as universal,
regardless of gender/sexual orientation or identification within such
relationships?
The
universal problems are just that: universal. i have seen just as many
gay male pairs having issues with their biological/adopted children as
het pairs. i've seen just as many het pairs arguing over money issues
as lesbian pairs, etc, etc etc....



** What problems arise within M/s Households where gender/sexual orientation or identification of the participants is mixed?
The
problems that i have seen arising in mixed households is that the
personal sexual needs of individuals might not be getting met in a
timely manner. It's hard to find time to serve a person and at the same
time find time to have an outside boyfriend/girlfriend/fuck buddy, etc.
With that being said, there can be just as many issues with a het pair
or gay pair not getting their needs met or making time for their
additional partners. Play time is play time, it's a great thing but,
time is a finite resource. We all need to *make time* to get our NEEDS
met. Finding balance in all your relationships is about making sure
that your wants/needs/desires are being communicated, understood and
acted upon. If making time to get your needs met means sitting down
with a calendar and scheduling it in - the by all means do it.



** What resistance or obstacles have I, as a GLBT, or het individual encountered within the M/s community?
The main resistance i've experienced:
Because i am married, that my Master is really just my bossy husband.

Because we are male and female, we are perceived as being
heterosexual and monogamous. (which can make getting a date sort of
difficult! *grin*)
Because we are male and female, we couldn't possibly be doing M/s correctly.

However, i think i have, by and large gotten more "resistance" from
het people, in the form of their perception that what Master and i are
doing is a bedroom game, the same as they are playing.
What we do isn't playing. It's our lives.

(i'd
also like to add that the resistance that i have experienced has been
actually very little and mostly from people who i find obnoxious
anyway... so it just makes me laugh...)

** Our community is inclusionary of all such orientations...how can we
better serve and support the diversity represented within our community?
First
of all, i don't believe that most our community IS inclusionary of all
such orientations. At all. (However, i think that that is a separate
topic - i'm not even going to try to tackle that here.... Don't even
get me started on the annoying habit of certain people to de-gender
trans people after they have been repeatedly corrected. Have i ever
made that mistake personally? You bet i have. But when the same
incorrect pronouns roll off the same people's tongues, over and over -
then, to me, it's being done on purpose. As a dig. As spite. *stepping
off my soap box now*)
Secondly:
showing up to other groups events would be a really good start. When
other groups in the community invite each other to their parties, and
meetings - it might be beneficial or at least polite to send a
delegation to the events that they've opened to you. Eventually, if
such invitations are extended and not attended and / or reciprocated,
people get the message that you really aren't interested in learning
about them and supporting them and stop inviting you.