But it's just a vest....

***i wasn't going to write about this, because i didn't want anyone
else to find out about it. But i think this is an important thing, so
i'm sharing it with you all.***



Well, the weather held out so Master gave the go ahead to get dressed
up and head out to the NYboL bar night. As usual, the boys did a bang
up job and packed the 9th Ave Saloon. There was a delightful Santa to
pose with, Mr Eagle 2008, Peter Schwartz. The cake to celebrate the 2
year anniversary of NYboL was great. We had an amazing time taking to
S. D. which for some reason, we just never get a chance to do. It was
nice to get some time with him. i really like the boy's mind! :-)



So, then.. it's time to leave. Master gathered up our coats. We grabbed
a cab, got back to Master's car and.... hey, why is there only one vest
on the back seat of the car? Yeah, my vest. Missing. my heart sank, my
stomach almost flew out of my throat, but since my throat was closed
and i was hyperventilating, it didn't . A million thoughts ran through
my mind:



i'm an idiot.

Master is going to be so disappointed in me.

i'm in big trouble.

Master Jim and slave marsha and Mark Frasier and Cougar are going to kick my ass.

i'm a bad slave.



i was already planned 2 things: my funeral and how i was going to get
another vest and patch made so no one would ever know what i did. i
know i'm not the only person who's ever misplaced a title vest. In
fact, i have rescued a few myself for other people who put them down in
a bar or at an event. But, let me tell you - when it's YOUR vest, it's
the most agonizing feeling that you've ever had.



Master totally kept His cool, while i became a gibbering lunatic in the passenger seat. i made a few calls to the boys to look
around for it and we drove back to the Saloon. There it was. Just sitting
there all alone. my poor vest. i scooped it up, took some well deserved
ribbing from the boys and we headed home.



Since this incident ended up well in the end, it was a great
opportunity to think about what this hunk of Leather means to me. Since
this one was the result of 2 solid years of preparation, soul
searching, darn hard work - it means a lot to me. As a result of all
the work i put in to myself towards earning the title, i've gotten much
better at speaking my mind, standing up for myself and being very clear
about what my needs and wants are. And making sure that they get met.
It's like it's the skin i grew as i was making this journey and found
my true self. Master and i both get big grins on our faces, still -
almost a year after earning these vests. Every time. They're a part of
our personal history and a part of the community's history.



"But it's just a vest." No. No, it is not.

Fabulous!

Master took me to see I AM LEGEND tonight. Fantastic!

i got a package from a new California friend! i can't wait to have a free moment to sit with a glass of Shiraz, lit some candles and open it. Oh, yes, it's so good to have a fellow member of the V.B. Fan Club! Thanks Daddy George! i love You!

After i cooked up an amazing dinner, but before we left for the movie, i got a LONG phone call that i was waiting for. Plans are made, girl is happy, happy, HAPPY! Did i say i was happy? Oh, Yes. Happy, with a capital "Fuck Yeah!"

Fabulous. Lucky girl. me.

Snow NO!

Ordinarily, i get quite jazzed about snow. i love big blizzards, being
snow bound. Baking bread and making soup in between shoveling. Hot
chocolate, steaming cups of chai and snuggling in my fuzzy socks.
Explaining to the neighbors that "yes, i do wear a skirt while i am
shoveling. No, i do not own any pants. Please go away." Taking the dogs
for long snowy walks. This is the first time in a long time that i have
been so anti-snow.



i REALLY want to go to the NYboL bar night! It's their 2 year
anniversary. i feel like we haven't gotten to spend anywhere near
enough time with the boys. We became associate members and then soon
after, won the International titles... so we've been on the road a lot.
They all did so much for us, hosting our fund raiser before we headed
off the South Plains last year, the NYboL Bootblacks took such darn
good care of us.... i just want to go to the party and be festive, damn
it!



Mrs. Snow, Please hold off until Sunday morning, OK?

Topics for discussion

i thought i'd write somethings down before the meeting for MAsT Central NJ tomorrow. i tend to not be the most spontaneous speaker ever during these meetings, so i figured i'd write my stuff down and share it. Comments are welcome and would be much appreciated! Fire away!

** Does our gender/sexual orientation or identification impact upon our ability to form an M/s relationship?

Personally,
i don't feel that gender has any effect on the ability to form an M/s
relationship. With that being said, if your goal in forming a
relationship is not one of M/s but rather to form a sexual, romantic
partnership than, yes: by all means your gender and orientation will
have an impact on the who and how a relationship is formed.
slaves have gender, SERVICE is genderless.
(Forming a
romantic partnership is a noble and beautiful thing. Just be clear that
that is your goal and stop muddying the waters.What is your intention?
Be clear!)



** Are there problems unique to our individual gender/sexual orientation or identification within such relationships?
The
unique problem that i personally have is trying to separate for myself
and for outsiders the fact that i am a feminist and won't put up with
being treated un-equally or disrespectfully by a man. People on the
outside may see what i do as being a wussy and letting myself be
trampled by "my man" when in fact, Him being a man has nothing to do
with the relationship that we have (in my opinion) He could be a woman
and my *submission* would be the same.


** Are there problems that we regard as universal,
regardless of gender/sexual orientation or identification within such
relationships?
The
universal problems are just that: universal. i have seen just as many
gay male pairs having issues with their biological/adopted children as
het pairs. i've seen just as many het pairs arguing over money issues
as lesbian pairs, etc, etc etc....



** What problems arise within M/s Households where gender/sexual orientation or identification of the participants is mixed?
The
problems that i have seen arising in mixed households is that the
personal sexual needs of individuals might not be getting met in a
timely manner. It's hard to find time to serve a person and at the same
time find time to have an outside boyfriend/girlfriend/fuck buddy, etc.
With that being said, there can be just as many issues with a het pair
or gay pair not getting their needs met or making time for their
additional partners. Play time is play time, it's a great thing but,
time is a finite resource. We all need to *make time* to get our NEEDS
met. Finding balance in all your relationships is about making sure
that your wants/needs/desires are being communicated, understood and
acted upon. If making time to get your needs met means sitting down
with a calendar and scheduling it in - the by all means do it.



** What resistance or obstacles have I, as a GLBT, or het individual encountered within the M/s community?
The main resistance i've experienced:
Because i am married, that my Master is really just my bossy husband.

Because we are male and female, we are perceived as being
heterosexual and monogamous. (which can make getting a date sort of
difficult! *grin*)
Because we are male and female, we couldn't possibly be doing M/s correctly.

However, i think i have, by and large gotten more "resistance" from
het people, in the form of their perception that what Master and i are
doing is a bedroom game, the same as they are playing.
What we do isn't playing. It's our lives.

(i'd
also like to add that the resistance that i have experienced has been
actually very little and mostly from people who i find obnoxious
anyway... so it just makes me laugh...)

** Our community is inclusionary of all such orientations...how can we
better serve and support the diversity represented within our community?
First
of all, i don't believe that most our community IS inclusionary of all
such orientations. At all. (However, i think that that is a separate
topic - i'm not even going to try to tackle that here.... Don't even
get me started on the annoying habit of certain people to de-gender
trans people after they have been repeatedly corrected. Have i ever
made that mistake personally? You bet i have. But when the same
incorrect pronouns roll off the same people's tongues, over and over -
then, to me, it's being done on purpose. As a dig. As spite. *stepping
off my soap box now*)
Secondly:
showing up to other groups events would be a really good start. When
other groups in the community invite each other to their parties, and
meetings - it might be beneficial or at least polite to send a
delegation to the events that they've opened to you. Eventually, if
such invitations are extended and not attended and / or reciprocated,
people get the message that you really aren't interested in learning
about them and supporting them and stop inviting you.

Busy weekend ahead and new eyes....

Very busy weekend ahead - tonight is the Leather Bar Night in Asbury Park.... it'll be so nice to see my Asbury leather family tonight. i love the friendship that i've found there. i wish i could see everyone there more often than i do.

There are also 2 other parties to attend this weekend.

And for the new eyes part: i was talking to someone about what i do for a living and they got all excited. What? i mean, yeah, i can get tons of gloves for sex but... oh, wait... i can get not just the occasional pair of Corcorans but i can get RUBBER boots. You know, thigh high rubber boots. Big crazy respirator masks.... other implements of destruction play.Suddenly, my ho-hum boring catalogs become porn when seen through someone else's eyes. i really like the way this person thinks.
Oh. yes. i. do.
:-)

Fear of a blank page...

i've been having a blast getting work done in my Studio. Master peered in the other night and was looking at *me*, not my work and announced how great i was! ( i was working on a collage at the same time as my embroidery machine was whirring away with a design i'd just digitized.) i started to get nervous - is He judging my work? (Right now, i don't think i even want positive comments because i'm afraid it'll jinx me or make me cocky or ... whatever.) But he said "Nope, it's the look in your eyes, you're glowing. you're happy. I like that!" and then He wandered off in search of some candy.... That was NICE!

i had (probably still have) an intense fear of the blank page. Whether it's a diary/journal or a poetry/journal or an Art/journal... it's always hard to get started. i've tried all kinds of rationalizing to get past that. A few things have helped.

1: i read somewhere - "in Art, as in life, you have to make your first mark" i don't want to live a mark-less life, so i'd better get past this, no?
2: i can, if i chose to, leave the first couple of pages blank. They can become an index of the work that's in the later pages or i can go back to them later and fill them up.
3: i can "get over myself" by taking the book, a box of water colors and just filling the entire book, every page with color - so i have an entire book ready to collage in. (This is my current favorite thing. Watercolors still allow me to write on the pages, if i need to. And i do need to!)

Releasing/letting go of that one tiny piece of Art a few weeks ago seems to have unleashed a flood of creativity in me. (i suppose it helps to have an inadvertent Muse in my life!)

i am still practicing my patience skills in other parts of my life. Apparently i am waiting for the correct combination of work schedules, days off, a lack of cold germs and travel schedules and let's just throw in a conjunction of stars and moon while i'm at it. Oy, really, patience is not my strong suit. (i think i'll just wander around singing a few bars of Carly Simon "anticipation.... anticipation is making me wait" but all i can picture is Heinz Ketchup when i do that!) (did i make you all sing along in your heads? Good!)
OK, back to work at my job so i can earn money for Art supplies....

Spent

Great weekend. Not at all as i was envisioning it, but fabulous none
the less. Saturday was some of the hottest, wettest sex that i've had
in a long time. Say it along with me kids: Hydration is your friend.
Sharing your hydration is also your friend.

Post sex, i wandered in to the studio and got to cleaning. Spent an
hour digging out and throwing away. Then i got to gluing. i LOVE having
those big speakers in there so i can have good music while i'm working.
Made a call at 3:30 and then did some more work. In a fit of... oh, who
knows what, i spilled something on a collage i'd been working on, got
mad, tore it up. Ended up re-assembling it with some old German
newspapers and grommets and some hand sewing (sewing through paper
sucks!) and now i like it even more.



By 6 a.m. i was waiting for the phone to ring, watching the snow... i fell asleep.



Master got me up a few hours later and i ended up having my planned
Core day, which was: Studio time. So, i ended up with almost 24 solid
hours of good work done. Finally got that call i was waiting for. Late,
but still so good.



Right now, i am: sexually satisfied, my fingers are stained with ink
and paint, i'm tired and i'm happy and i am spent, in a really good
way. Things are coming together in ways not expected - like a collage
gone awry, glued back together and seen with new eyes. Things are good.
Very, very good.

Contracts, new cars, racing and Christmas....

So, i am glad that my life is not a race. Things that i want are just outside my grasp, so to speak. "Patience in all things" was the motto i used to mutter to Taybor when we first got him and he'd destroy something. i think i need to go back to muttering that to myself. But really, i am actually enjoying the anticipation and well, i guess i'm enjoying the learning process. *grin* Yes, i am being cryptic. That's what Ladies should be, right?

i've been working on the contract changes that Master and i have been negotiating for the past month. It's nice to be able to eliminate some of the things that just don't need to be in there, because we've both out grown them. Equally nice to add in different clauses for things that *i* might need as i realize that my personal needs are changing and my world might be expanding. All i have to say is, negotiating can sometimes be really hot and fun. i like contract renewal time!

i am digging the heated seats in Master's new car. Hot, toasted slave buns! Yummy! And leather seats? Bliss!

Today we loaded up the Advent calendar with chocolates. i didn't have one as a kid (i wasn't raised in a Christian household) and Master's family didn't do one either. i picked one up a few years ago and Master LOVED the idea of one candy per day to lead up to Christmas. First of all, it's just fun. Secondly, both of us can get through the day without snacking on holiday junk food at work if we keep in mind that we get to have a really good, quality piece of chocolate when we get home. It's nice.

i am blissed out on the couch, enjoying a latte, snoring dogs next to me. Thinking about my date night tonight (porno store, xxx film booths, then the go-go bar and then home to watch whatever we buy at said porno store)

Yeah, it's a good life, i'm glad it's not a race.

Carpe Noctum? i'm TRYING!

did i mention that i think the telephone is a grand invention? Yes. Yes, it is.
So, while i'm waiting around to Carpe Noctum....
Let me tell you, my faithful readers about how i did a completely goofy thing getting out of the car today. i have a couple of Pharmaceutical clients that i have to visit every 3 weeks. One of them needs this sample of a chemical proof suit. i'm supposed to deliver this big bird yellow suit tomorrow. As i stepped out of my car, i spilled an entire mug of coffee on it. Well, it's not exactly coffee proof. By the time i got it in the house, it got stained and rumpled. i'm trying to get it cleaned off, dried and to not smell like coffee so they can do some testing on it. Good grief.... so out the window goes any idea of playing fantasy dress up by wearing it tonight and being the sexy big yellow laboratory geek.... i can't wait to deliver it and have someone sniff it and say "does this whole product line smell like Arabica?"

Live in such a way, that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, the devil says, "Oh no, she's awake!!"

Amazing Weekend! First of all, i LOVE 4 day weekends! They've just got such relaxing feel, i love not knowing what day it is? Thinking that Saturday is Sunday and then realizing that i still have ANOTHER day off! Watching the two lines that are between Master's eyebrows go away during the course of the weekend is a big bonus for me!

We've been getting to spend a lot of time with our Asbury Leather Family and also with the NYboL Family in the past few weeks. i had no idea at the beginning of the title year how much i was going to miss those guys. No idea at all. i know that we've been doing really good work, but man, oh man... i really was getting home sick. i've been having fun the past few weeks, thinking of what to fill up the time with, after we step down. Yes, i know - we're already booked for a lot of dates in 2008. But it's not going to be anywhere near as busy. i firmly believe that the Universe hate a vacuum and will fill up empty space with something. So, before the Universe gives me some crappy space fillers, i've booked myself at another Art retreat. Not the same on as last year, but i am even more excited about going somewhere different and learning new things. So exciting. i had 15 days between when they announced the classes and when registration started, so i plotted and planned and i think i got the best possible classes for me. Some are just going to be fun, some are going to be difficult (metal work!) and a couple are really going to stretch my skills. And that, my friends, is going to be a good thing.

A few years ago when i got back in touch with an old friend (and Master's old band mate) He told me how he always looked up to me and my personal style. That i was an ass-kicking girl that made him so proud. That i was a role model for him. A role model? me? i started thinking about whether i had lived up to the expectations or projections that he'd put on me - and decided that i had NOT. But more importantly, i wasn't living up to my own expectations. i let a lot of crap get in my way. i completely abandoned my Art. i compromised my moral values. i compromised on what i needed to become a full, complete and healthy person. The combination of that kick in the ass and the mental/spiritual inventory that i did before running for the titles with Master did wonders for me. i decided that the people that i had chosen as role models for myself, the people who cut me off or cut me out or really, truly spiritually disappointed me were not worth looking up to.

i took a bold step 9 days ago, after 2 months of wondering and planning and discussing it with Master. With His encouragement, i've asked for something that i really, really want. For me, that 2 months of envisioning all the possible out comes, what could go wrong, what could go oh-so-right, was it worth the risk.... Yeah, i'm a ruminator. But, in the end, the only way to manifest something in to being is, i believe: do your homework, ask for what you need/want and then let it go..... (yes, that's how we Witches work!) The hardest part is the letting go. i asked for what i wanted and then let go so hard it hurt. (Part of what i let go was a piece of my Art, i've never done that. Ever. Scary stuff for a recovering Artist!) Patience is NOT my particular virtue. It looks like i am, ultimately going to get my heart's desire.

i am thankful for 4 day weekends, Holidays spent with Great Friends in warmth and good fellowship. i am grateful that i can let go of old baggage, to make room for new experiences. That my life is filled with Beauty and Art again. So happy that other people have reached out to me, welcomed me in to their circle. Grateful that i have a loving and generous Master to share my life with. Thankful for remission so that i can play hard again. Thankful for a body that is strong and is capable of giving and receive such great delight. For great, healthy role models. Thankful that my path in life has so many twists and turns and different paths that i can travel. Welcoming a new experience in to my life. i've made room for it to happen. There's a line on the book "The Mists of Avalon" about whether there's an after-life or not - Life itself is reward enough. i am starting to see that that is so true.

No sleep 'til Brooklyn...

As the Beastie Boys would say: No sleep 'till Brooklyn.

Yes, that's right kids - Insomnia day 2. After a wonderful day out yesterday - i couldn't get to sleep at all. Oy, this sucks! i ended up getting up at 3 am and puttering around the studio. i made a call, thought really hard about taking a drive and decided against it (for now), puttered some more and actually got some work done. 4 Art journal pages decorated, one piece started for my next book binding project, and cleaned off my work area so i can actually get some work done.

Got a call at 6 A.M. which was superb and made me feel if not refreshed then at least, shall we say invigorated? Yes, that's what i'll say. Invigorated. :-) That's a good word. Did i mention that i was a lucky girl? i think i did. i'll say it again. i am a lucky girl!

There's definitely a short list of people who could call me that early (or late) and would make me happy.

Spent the rest of the day setting up the room for tonight, putting up holiday decorations. Pagan that i am, i still love the Christmas decorations. i'm looking forward to tonight. Hopefully, after a good night of play, i'll be able to get some sleep. i hope the 48 hours with no sleep doesn't ruin the evening though. We'll see. Sleep deprivation should be good for reaching new spiritual heights, right? i hope so!

happy happy HAPPY girl

Well, to start my day - or perhaps to end yesterday - i got NO SLEEP last night. i was tossing and turning all night. Thinking, pondering, wondering..... once my mind gets to working i should really just get up and write or make Art, but i always think "5 more minutes and i'll be asleep" which, of course never happens. Sometime around 6 A.M., i finally started to drift off.....so, when Master started with the chipper voice "Come on sunshine, time to make biscuits for the NYboL Thanksgiving!" i was less than happy and cheerful. i was a down right frightful grump.

Once i got dressed and had some Nectar of the Gods (coffee) things looked much brighter and we got to work on an assembly line of cheese grating, sifting and mixing. 3 Batches of whole wheat cheddar biscuits and a half gallon of gravy later, we were ready to head off to be festive. We breezed in on the train and got to Jake's really early....so we were put right to work: running for ice, chopping onions and peppers... and then i heard some muffled music from my purse. An unexpected (but very hoped for) phone call. That totally made my day. OK- who am i kidding? Made my month! Whoo hoo! Yeah, happy girl did the happy dance around Jake's kitchen! i ended up with a big dorky grin on my face all day. (yeah, i admit it! Big. Dorky. Grin)

The house started to fill up with old friends, new friends and good fellowship. Not to mention good smells. i loved watching Jake run his kitchen. He's amazing. i don't know how he can cook that variety of food, get it on the table hot and have it be so darn good. That man is a keeper! (and he make s a mean flan...)

Much later, we headed home. No Eagle bar for me tonight (*big frowny face*) - the dogs have been locked up too long and we have a long train ride home.

What an awesome day. Great friends, fantastic food, good conversation, a phone call i've been wanting..... i'm settled on the couch now, big cup of chai at hand, 80 pounds of dog on my lap. i can't wait to go to sleep and catch up on some dreaming about....

Anniversary Antics

So, after spending the morning being locked out in the yard by the deadly canine duo of Taybor and LiLu, Master and i hustled around trying to get ready in time to head out to Leatherfest at the Center....
We made it out right on time and breezed in to NYC. Leatherfest was hoppin'. i scored a pair of long, tweezer type nipple clamps and a gear shaped piece of jewelry. The nipple clamps will end up being used for holding things while i solder them, and the connecting chain i think will become the watch fob for my pocket watch. The gear jewelry will end up being a base for another creation - it was exactly what i was looking for. i'm sure the Leather Gods will be angry that i'm using BDSM tools for Art but i'm sure whatever Art i make will still have a perverse bent to it.

It was awesome to get to see the NYboL guys again, as well as seeing all my other Leathery friends. Although, once again - too many people that i expected to see there were MIA. Perhaps i just missed them? Who knows..... Oh, yes, and i got 25 punches and one to grow on while we were at the Fest...

Off to dinner with Jake, where we discussed important things, like Flan. :-) Then to the 9th ave Saloon for the NYboL bar night. Rubber was the theme - and once again, i am amazed that the scent of rubber is so hot to me. Hmmmmm. i have no interest in actually wearing rubber but jeez, it sure does smell great.

After that, we buzzed over to the Eagle for about an hour. We had a beer, i had 2 annoying guys say some somewhat crappy stuff to me. One was just flirting with me and had some boundary issues... the other one was all in my face like "what are YOU doing here? what are YOU doing in my bar?" This while he's in his white sneakers and cologne. BAH! Not to mention he was interrupting a conversation i was having. BAH again. At least, the gentleman i was conversing with handled the annoying dolt with style and shut him down cold. Very nice! i do so love kinky gentlemen....We finished our conversation and then it was time for Master and i to head home.

Home, anniversary sex. Yes, bliss. i am a very lucky girl.

Lassie! Come on girl!

i must now point out that neither of our dogs are very useful.... Master decided that this morning we should go out and rake up leaves, we were going to do that tomorrow but it's supposed to rain, so: let's get it done while the weather is good.

Well, we needed to use the leaf blower for part of the job, since we're still not supposed to walk on the new lawn. Dogs are, of course, afraid of the noise and are barking their heads off. So, i - brilliant slave that i am, put the dogs in the house. They leap around and somehow hit the latch on the back door. No problem, except the front door is also locked. As are all the windows.

Neither of us had keys or cell phone, so Master went to a neighbor's, got the dog sitter's number and called her. (Meanwhile, i was trying to reason with the dogs, trying to get them to understand that we're very busy today and i really needed to use the bathroom, so they should open the door. i came to the understanding that neither dog is as useful as Lassie.) The dog sitter scooted over with the key. We gave her a big tip for being so helpful.

We'll be making spare keys and hiding them around later today.

25 Years

Tomorrow, November 17th is our 25th Anniversary.
i am so blessed.
Here's a link to last years post about our anniversary.
i think it says it all, the only thing i can add is, as we've continued our journey as International Master & slave.... it's been a Hell of a ride for us. It seems that not many people grow together, or allow each other to grow in their own ways and still remain committed to each others happiness.
my life, what a blast!

i heart Virginia!

This weekend Master and i drove down to Charlottesville VA to present for C.U.F.F., i love taking long drives with Master. He's learned in the past couple of years to be a traveler and He really enjoys the experience. Rather than just seeing the journey as something to endure, He likes the whole "get to the airport early and watch the sunrise" experience or the "let's see how many cows we see per mile". It's a vast difference between the drives of old, when we were with The Band and everyone just hated the drives. We all loved getting to the shows but, man - 5 guys stinking up the van with their Man Gas and all the inner-band-politics-and-turmoil... oy. Not pleasant.

So, Charlottesville. What can i say about the town? um, i love it! It's just small enough to be cute and funky enough to be fun without being like big city madness. Tons of funky shops and good restaurants. i even managed to snag some art supplies (Literally, pounds of paper for $3.00, such a deal!) Nice, i would definitely be in to going there again and making more time to explore.

The group we presented for was amazing. They have a fantastic space (a private, members only Gay owned club/bar) which was warm and friendly and very well laid out. (i always love a bar that has a few cages on stage to do lock-down fund raisers...) Our host took such great care of us, dropping off a cooler of water and iced tea to our hotel room, taking us out for lunch, giving us a mini-tour and some college football lessons! The group themselves were equally warm and friendly, fun and asked *really* engaging questions. If anyone has the opportunity to present for them, i give a hearty "thumbs up" to them. Awesome! i SO want to go back down for their Holiday party next month - they are going to have a blast! :-)

Master and i had a party of our own and made the best of dirtying up Charlottesville ourselves by having a ton of hotel sex. Nothing like soiling some one else's sheets, i always say.

In which i discuss my ass cramp...

Gah! i wish my body felt better! i've spent the week hooked up to a TENS unit and last night was spent huddled on the couch while Master iced my hip. There's nothing like feeling unable to do things for your self to make you realize that you are normally a fairly strong and independent person. i miss going to the gym and doing my 320 lb shrugs. i just started to be able to bench press 70 lbs.... i feel like all my gains at the gym are going right down the toilet right now.

On the bright side, i am strong enough and healthy enough to create through my discomfort. i was able to get a little work done in the studio, even if i did have to stand up to do it. It was good, angry, uncomfortable art. Good release! i needed a good release: for both my physical pain-in-the-ass and the figurative one that's manifesting in my life right now.

i also had to say good bye to a client and friend who is retiring/moving away. The great part is he got the send off party that he deserved, it was amazing to see how loved he is. And i have a place to stay for free, should i ever get the chance to visit Puerto Rico. (The title is International, no? *grin*)

Let's hope my body feels better as we get ready to head off the teach in VA. It's a long drive on a sore ass! i am really looking forward to presenting - we've had a few weeks off and i'm getting itchy to do it again. (oh, gosh, did i just say that? me? i don't like doing presentations!) My, how things change!

what's that noise?

Master loaded the washing machine with all the dark clothes....
an hour later, i put the clothes in the dryer.... i sat down at my laptop and was answering email.....
*clunk* clunk* clunk* Hmmmm, what's that noise coming from the dryer?
Master?
Master runs from other room, cursing slightly. It's the work cell phone, washed and partially fluff dried.
i stand up and go to walk over to help Him dry it off. my foot tangles in the cord, my laptop does a very comical pratfall to the floor. Now it's broken too.
Yes, it was technological bumper cars last night and we lost.
Master got me an extended warranty which actually ends next month - so i'll drop it off at Best Buy tonight and pray that the Geek Squad can work it's magic. Grrrr......

Blessed Samhain!

Happy New Year!
We're entering the dark season, time to nest and snuggle... time to start work on introspective projects, time to work on ourselves. It's time to remember and honor our beloved dead, time to cast runes and divine the future, to plot our course for the upcoming year.

November and December this year, we'll be busy writing new classes for the upcoming year. Not to mention writing our step down speeches for South Plains. i also need to begin my biscuit recipe testing soon so i am ready to meet NYboL Jake's expectations on Thanksgiving! Oh, my poor Master, subjected to a dozen recipes.....

A co-worker of Master's (and formerly a co-worker of mine) unexpectedly passed away overnight. She was a wacky, fun, little old lady. Really daft, but in a fun "I Love Lucy" kind of way. Great sense of humor. Always mothering people. She sat next to Master in His office, and they helped each other out a lot at work, so He's saddened and shocked by the whole thing. As i said, it's time to remember our beloved dead, so i'll light a candle for her on my ancestor altar tonight.

Remember to tell hold the ones you love and tell them what they mean to you.

i'm back and i'm rockin' October!

OK, ok... yes - i apologize for not writing more (or at all) for the past few months. i guess i have a habit of either writing when i am giddy with happiness or absolutely dancing with gloom and depression. i think perhaps when things are going well - in a "wow, i-am- enjoying- my- life- right- now- with- no- trauma- and- no- drama- llamas- and- isn't- it- nice- to- be -off- the- road- and- at- home- with- my- beloved- Asbury- Park- Leather- Family- and- my- NYboL- Brothers- and- at- home,- sitting- at- my- Master's- feet" kind of way - so that i really feel like i have nothing to write about. Then i feel guilty for not writing and i'm not sure how to jump back in again.....

So, i'll just start back up by saying "THANK YOU!" to who ever suggested my story "bootblack dreams" to the Eros Blog. What an honor! (For the record, the story is fiction... some people have questioned who the guy is and why he was so afraid. LOL, He's a real person all right, with visually delicious boots, but the story never happened. And probably never will. Sometimes fantasies should remain that way. Or maybe not.)

All these busy months, i've been looking forward to October contest season, since it meant that i would get to be with my friends in NYboL and Asbury Park. Being on the road so much, i felt awful - like the friendships i was starting to build were torn apart. Knowing that we are welcome to the boy's Thanksgiving again this year means more to me than words can express. i am so glad to be home.

Our NY/NJ contest season was a blast - shame on you to anyone who didn't make at least ONE of the contests. Starting with the Mr. Eagle NYC 2008 contest on Oct 6th, The title went to Peter Schwartz. Peter is an associate member of NYboL, as am i, so i look forward to getting to know him better and supporting him in his title year. i am sure he'll represent the title in a classy and outstanding manner. Some highlights of the evening: Meeting Daddy George from CA. A friend of pug's and now a friend of mine. (Yes, Victoria. Yes.) i also got to see my friend James, who i haven't seen in ages and who i really want to spend some time with. What else.... OH, yes, Please - someone, anyone: please tell me about that Luscious barback at the Eagle. The one with the goggles. That man makes my gears go round and round! Giddy!

October 13th we were again at the Eagle to feast our eyes on some luscious rubber. Yes, folks - Mr East Coast Rubber. Daddy George was there again, i think i am in love with that man. Anyone who understands the Beckham Conundrum is a friend of mine. What a wicked sense of humor that man has.... OK, enough drooling over DG, before i launch in to a description of the hotness that was him in his bleacher style rubber. Skinhead indeed! There were contestants from overseas, so i became confused as to which East Coast, but still - a fantastic evening with about a million contestants. i always forget how much i enjoy looking at rubber until i am at this contest. Then i start smelling that delicious rubbery goodness and imagining a rubber clad hand covering my nose and mouth and.... Oh, my.
Master and i needed to leave before the winners were announced, because we are old and so get sleepy early. No, really, there really were a million contestants and we simply could not stay until 4 a.m. But i found out the next day that the winner was: John Weis. If you live here on the East Coast and you don't know who John is, well - i'll say it again: Shame on you. i met John at my first LPN. He was dressed like a cop. He made me swoon. His partner Larry also makes me swoon. But more that that, they are First Class, Classy Gentlemen of the Scene. Active in the community, for the community. Delightful! i am sure the title with be represented with all the style and energy that John is known for!
Once again, my eyes were drawn to that barback at the Eagle. Gosh..... wow. So. Nice. To. Look. At. (she makes strangling noises and shuffles her feet around)

October 19th -20th: Folks, Master Larry and i are HOME, with our Asbury Park Leather Family. Sal, Dion, Tom, Hillary, Amanda & Amy, Storm & Lisa, every one of those sexy past NJ title holders and their hot partners ( DANNY!) (*grin!*), the Argonauts (who keep us well fed!) .... the bartenders and the staff at the club. This is the event that i look forward to each year. And i'll say it again: anyone from the NJ area that wasn't there - SHAME ON YOU! There was a fantastic and intimate presentation of the Carter-Johnson Library. You say you want a chance to talk to Vi Johnson about Leather History? You had a chance to do so, one on one. And if you weren't there.... well... it's your loss. Funds were raised to help out with the library's expenses and you weren't there to contribute. (Think on that. It's your history. Or maybe it's not because you don't really consider yourself part of the leather scene.)
i was so proud of Chuck, Mr NJ Leather 2007 & boi robi, Ms. NJ Leather 2007. What a great year you had. Chuck got to step down/aside, but since there was no female contestant this year, robi graciously agreed to continue to represent the title for another year. Go robi! (and even thought Chuck stepped down/aside, we still expect him to continue to be a community leader, as he has proven himself to be!)
There were 2 male contestants, Rob and spanky. Both did a fantastic job and both of them seemed to have fun through out the weekend. The contest is serious, to me anyway, but if you're not having a blast competing.... what's the point? By the end of the evening spanky was given the title of Mr. NJ Leather 2008. i hope Rob continues to participate in the scene, he's got great heart and has a lot to offer to us all.
i finally got to see the band, Nekked and talk to the guys - wow, they blew me away with their music and their sincere questions about M/s and what our dynamic is. i think we need to take them out to lunch and give a mini seminar! (thanks for the cd's!) i also go to drool over Will Clark, our fabulous MC. That man.... is .... Yummy.

That's it in a nut shell: 3 contests, 3 worthy people chosen, 1 incredible boi robi carrying on for us, 1 hot barback, 1 new incredible friend from CA, lot of NYboL's, and... where were YOU?