is this thing on?

i've been having trouble using Scribefire to publish my stuff... This is just a test to see if my formatting blows up again...
Oh, technology is so grand! *snark*

busy busy bee..

Gosh, it's been busy around here. i realized today that i still have some unpacking from San Diego to do. Yeah, i've been that busy!
i had Good Friday off from work, which was SO nice. i got a lot of Art done. (Master gave me a "core" day so i could do what ever i needed to feed my "core"/Soul. So, what did i do? i made SoulCollage cards. So far, i have 6 in my deck. It's a very gratifying process. i'd like to have a nice pile of them when i go for my training as a Facilitator in September, but whatever i have done is what i have done. (just let it go, barb, let it go...)

Saturday was spent partially re-connecting with my Beloved Jack Terricloth. Sweet man he grew up to be! It was an awesome concert and it did my heart good to see him looking so healthy at the end of 6 months on the road. So people are just born to be on the road.

Sunday i was told to clean out Taybor's cage so that i get to use it for naps! Hurray! Hurrah! Puppy Play for me! It's in a great spot in my studio, right by the window, so i can get a cool breeze if the windows open and maybe growl at the neighbors as they walk past. :-) Fun! Taybor's a bit annoyed that i threw out his old stinky bed, but he hasn't been in that crate for about 2 months now. my babies are all grown up now. *sniff*

Some more supplies arrived for the big retreat i'm going on next month. This batch was mostly metal working tools, hammers, etc. Plus Master got me a big pile of fancy pens for the graffiti class. Whoo Hoo! i ma really glad i'm driving to this retreat. There's no way all this crap would fit in a couple of suit cases on the plane.

Ok, back to work with me so i can earn more money for glue and wire and shiny art supplies...

San Diego... my ancestral homeland

Well, this is going to sound completely cheesie but as many cool places as we've been during our title year, San Diego felt like i came home. (except for the fact that i didn't have my dogs stepping on my liver the whole weekend.)

The people: awesome, friendly, warm. The Leather community: tight, together, family. The city itself: the bits that we got to see were amazing. i'm trying to figure out - then you have such a big center of culture and art and nature that is Balboa Park - is it a reflection of how great the community is or does that big beautiful park reflect it's sweetness on the people? i guess, either way, it doesn't matter. i just flat out love the place.

i'm still wiped out from the trip so i'm keeping this short right now. my solo class went well. Our hosts were amazing. Balboa Park is my new home, as far as i'm concerned. Although the squirrels are weird there....

Here's one funny pic from the park. Does any one see any resemblance there?

she's back!

So... well.... Wow. Where did the time go? People who know me deeply
know that March is a really tough time for me. Yeah, i re-live some
deeply traumatic things from my childhood. i feel... well, i feel
regret sometimes at how bad shit was when i was growing up and the
things that happened to me. i feel anger at how absolutely rotten my
parents were. i feel deeply the loss of my first love. (Yes, You, Jack.
i'm talking about You!) But i as i relive the trauma drama that was my
childhood, i also feel so loved and respected and glad that things
turned out the way they did. If it wasn't for the struggle that i went
through, i wouldn't be the person that i am today. So, i am greatful,
in the end for all that i went through. i just wish, sometimes, with my
little girl heart, that it hadn't been so damn hard. (Thank you sp for checking up on me while i was hiding in my Cave of Self Pity for the past few weeks)



i've also been freaking out because it was looking like, due to the
title holder financial drain, that i wasn't going to get to go to my
Art retreat. i actually went so far as to try to cancel it but i missed
the cut off date. DOH! So, being that i'd already laid out a HUGE chunk
of cash for the classes and wasn't going to get that back - i made
alternate housing plans. i'll be doing the cheap ass hotel with a
kitchenette deal and bringing all of my own food with me for the trip.
The whole thing, which was becoming such a mass of anger in my heart,
has now become a personal challenge. i'll do the trip and i'm making it
my personal goal to spend not one dime other than on the gas to get
there and back. No bottled water, no purchased Starbucks coffee... no
candy, no vending machine junk. If i haven't brought it with me, then i
won't have it. It'll be...fun. Well, ok, maybe not fun but i know there
are people who aren't going to this retreat because they can't afford
the classes, never mind the outrageous hotel expense. i'm lucky enough
to have the cash to pay for the classes, who am i to whine about having
to stay off site in a not so fancy hotel?



In other news, the new friendship Master and i began at SPLF is going
along swimmingly. i really love these 2 generous and amazing people!
:-) my life is so full of JOY! ( and a spiffy East German uniform too!
*gloat!*)



And i've struck up a friendship with a person who worked at one of my
clients. Turns out, not only to be an amazing musician and artist and
all round good hearted and smart person but also lives super close to
my house now. Good. It's a good thing to have good peeps nearby. Very
good.



my other relationship...seems to be fizzling. Sigh. Damn. So cute. But
if you don't return calls then i'm not chasing you. i'm actually not
mad or annoyed. Just sad about it and perhaps a bit worried. i hope
they didn't fall off the roof deck at work. (maybe one of the boys can
check that out for me on Thursday? *grin*) It's a shame. This person
would have really enjoyed me in my new uniform. Now they'll just get to
look and not touch. (oops, there i go, gloating again!)



OK, that's enough typing for now. i gotta do some work and then get ready to head off to San Diego this weekend!