Monday, November 09, 2009

In the past few weeks, I found this lovely website and entered a contest /give away for these loverly cuff links. Lucky me, I won them. Even more luckily, I had recently picked up a French cuffed men’s shirt for a dollar at the local thrift store. Delightful! Now I can wear it properly instead of rolling up the sleeves. They look even better in real life, no funky crystal eyes but they do have crossed bones behind them. Please do check out the website. It’s a lot of fun.

We had something “returned” to us that I wasn’t even aware was lost…. So, that just made me laugh, out loud and otherwise. I could be annoyed but really, why bother? It’s much more funny and sad than anything to be angry over.

I received an email from an old and very Dear friend of mine, asking the spelling of my maiden name as he wants to use some promotional photos that I took for him about a million years ago. Of course he had the spelling correct and of course I wholeheartedly embrace the project. It’s nice to get the credit since I had so many of my photos used with out permission back in the day. (Yes, Doug Carrion, I am talking about you and the cover of Dag Nasty’s Field Day album!) Respect of intellectual property and art is a very important thing, don’t you think? I should have copies of the project in my hot little hands around the holidays. It’ll be a 20 year anniversary re-issue of something that was so close to my heart at the time. I don’t want to say more than that right now…..i am just still so stunned that it’s been twenty years. Time flies.

On the weight lifting front, I had the brilliant idea to add hack squats to the set. Oy, my aching thighs! It’ll be worth it in the long run – my back doesn’t hurt as much as it did and I know it’ll strengthen my knees (which are a screwed up mass of cartilage stew) enough so that I will be able to do “real” squats eventually. In the mean time, I press on with my leg press progress and did 548 lbs yesterday. Without puking, I might add. Although, I really wanted to, especially after the second set of 15 reps.

All the other weights are also progressing. Upper body work where I was stuck in the same weight ranges forever have finally begun to be increased. Part of the slowness in the increase was the fact that I started with so little upper body strength, that I lose some range of motion from the IV Port surgery and have some shrunken tendons as a result of some of the medications that I took. The other part of the slowness is the fact that I was just being lazy, stubborn and feeling sorry for myself. I’ve been working hard to keep in mind that when I work out I am achy and sore and feel like crap and when I DON’T work out, i am still achy and sore and feel like crap. (this is residue from the illness that will most likely never go away) So, my options are work out or don’t work out and either way – I will still have random body aches and exhaustion. At least if I am working at getting stronger, then it’s moving in a positive direction. Even if I don’t see or feel the gain. It’s there. I heard someone say this week “I’m being proactive in my negativity” and that made me laugh but then I realized that is sort of what I have to do right now.

Getting ready to dig in to the next book on the list that Master wants me to tackle. It’s nice to read things that he’s suggested. I think it’s been pretty obvious in the way my attitude has changed that I am getting something out of it. I can’t wait to get started and so… off I go!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Lucky me!

This is taking place right down the street from where i work! i guess i'll be charging up my camera and taking some pictures.... i've never seen real live maniacs before.
Estimates from the police are that they're expecting a few hundred counter protesters at the High School and several thousand on the Rutgers University campus.

This is a press release from New Jersey: Smash the Westboro Baptist Church.

On October 28th, the Westboro Baptist Church (aka God Hates Fags) will be showing their faces in New Brunswick, NJ to picket the local high school then the Jewish Center at Rutgers. The W.B.C. is notorious for harassing gays and lesbians, as well as promoting a racist, sexist and homophobic agenda against anyone who doesn't share their crazed and insane ideology. The W.B.C. will NOT be ignored and allowed to pass through our city without a confrontation. The Westboro Baptist Church IS NOT WELCOME in our community. We intend to stop them.

Here is a link to their whole schedule of events in the NJ area:
http://www.godhatesfags.com/schedule.html

10/28/09
7:30-8:00am
New Brunswick High School
1125 Livingston Ave, New Brunswick, NJ

10/28
8:45-9:15am
Rutgers Hillel
93 College Ave, New Brunswick, NJ

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

A very Dull Roar

Master was at work early, worked until the afternoon, worked out, went home, *did laundry* (i am a lucky slave to have a Master who would do laundry to help a sick and drowning-in-work slave!) made & ate dinner alone, dealt with some small time crap and then had to go back to work.

i got to see Master for about 20 minutes today and the whole time we were together was focused on small time crap. What a fucking waste. i'm angry at myself for getting sucked in to some small time crap that isn't even worth talking about. i shouldn't have been surprised.

Now it's 8:20 pm and i won't get to see Him until late tomorrow. Or more likely Friday.
*************************************************************************************************************************
i'm pluggin' away through the Henry Rollins book, A Dull Roar. Master read that one not too long ago and asked me to read it. It's a hard read. i really like Henry, he was/is a big influence in my life for a lot of years. (Despite having made me wet my pants once. Yes, it's true and it was non-consensual) It's difficult for me to read how hard everything is for him. However, since he and i have a lot in common (depression, rage, fear of people, love of good music and deep hatred of bullshit) it's been really good for me to see how he deals with that and what lessons i can apply to my own life.

Reading this made me look up the old article from Details magazine about Iron and the mind. i'm not linking to it, if you want to read it just google Iron+Henry Rollins. You'll find it. Just a tiny snippit: "People have become separated from their bodies. They are no longer whole. I see them move from their offices to their cars and on to their suburban homes. They stress out constantly, they lose sleep, they eat badly. And they behave badly. Their egos run wild; they become motivated by that which will eventually give them a massive stroke. They need the Iron Mind." (i think Joe Cornish would like this article! Hint Hint!)

i'm certainly not saying the Henry has all the answers, i know that HE would never say that, but there are some nuggets of truth to be gleaned from a person who has lived life so hard and takes those truths he's worked out for himself so seriously. i'm glad Master asked me to read this one. It's done me a world of good.


--
Confrontation. Discipline. Application.
-Henry Rollins

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

FOR TODAY 10-/13/09...

Outside My Window...It’s a cloudy grey day, but there are deer stalking about in the woods behind my job!
I am thinking...about dinner!
I am thankful for...being able to do a 468 lb leg press at the gym…and still being able to walk.
From the slave quarters… getting ready to judge Mr. & Ms. NJ Leather this weekend.
From the kitchen...there’s a new sourdough starter bubbling away.
I am wearing...the ugliest green plaid dress in the world. But it’s comfy, so I don’t care if it’s hideous. I am also wearing grey and black striped socks with skulls on them and sneakers. (There goes my Leather girl cred, right out the window)
I am creating...cauliflower Kimchee. Is there such a thing? We’ll see in a week or two. Maybe all I’m making is 10 lbs of spicy cauliflower compost.
I am going...home in half an hour!
I am reading...A Dull Roar by Henry Rollins. It’s making me tired. That man lives at a pace that makes my Master look like a piker.
I am hoping...i feel good enough to workout tomorrow. (Tonsils flared up on Sunday)
I am hearing...The Cult, Sonic Temple
Around the house...Lilu is wandering around with her stapled, oozing leg – looking pathetic and acting unstoppable. She’s my skinny, weird looking, tough-as-nails pup.
One of my favorite things...my new, giant, fully body encompassing body pillow. It’s a pillow, no it’s a nest! NO, it’s a coccoon!
A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: gearing up for the contest, and lots of time spent with Jake planning for Thanksgiving! (did I mention I love Jake?)
Here is picture thought I am sharing: Lilu with her Elizabethan collar on, so she won’t eat her staples.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Enjoy the sillence

Things have been bad, bad, bad lately.
i had my hours cut at work, as well as a swell pay cut. Plus i was told that i need to "step it up" and do more. Umm, ok... as they've gradually let people go or fired them over the years, i've picked up the work of others and now i do the work of 6 other people. i kid you not. But i need to step it up. Yeah.

So, all that in addition to whatever snarkyness is going on, general random hostility in the "scene", basic ill behavior, etc, etc is just wearing me down to the nub. i'm just so darn tired. i try really hard to be of the "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything" school of thought. Hmm.... but that's lead to being silent on the blog for months as well as being known as Silent barb. (oops, there i go being snarky too.)

So, that's all i'll say for now and i'll leave you all with a bit of beauty from my walk in the woods on this past Sunday. Beautiful Autumn leaves on a bed of moss.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Alice in Wonderland.....

New Tim Burton movie coming out. Yay! But, somehow this still from the movie looks really familiar to me and i'm not at all sure why. Weird. It's reminding me of someone and i can't for the life of me remember who. Well, anyway, it certainly doesn't matter.

i know i've been MIA for quite sometime. Things have been rough for me, this whole imbalanced thyroid thing is a pain in the butt. Dr. W adjusted my synthroid and now i have some pills in the most lovely shade of Robin's egg blue. And, let me tell you, "peri-monopause" is really for the birds. But other than minor physical complaints, i can't whine too much. i enjoy the month of June, since i get to spend time with my Family, from NYC, To Asbury, Atlanta and beyond. :-)




Thursday, April 23, 2009

Pick of the Day

Taybor is the pet Pick of the Day at the 1010wins.com website!

Lilu is also featured, but she's not the cover-girl! :-)
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Thursday, February 19, 2009

It's all covered with spots!

my tonsils, i mean. Oy! i feel like crap. However, not quite so crappy that i can take the day off from work. i just saw my regular doctor... for the first time since the year we competed at South Plains. Heh, so i guess i've been doing really well. i mean, i've had the sniffles and other assorted miseries but no tonsillitis or sinus infections or other grue and slime inducing illnesses.

S, here i am, back at work, eating home made sourdough bread (if anyone local wants some of the culture, just let me know), listening to Peter Murphy and believe it or not, pondering a quote from Mother Teresa. Does this apply to M/s and/or the way slaves worry too much about stuff they have little or no business worrying about?

Don't give in to discouragement. If you are discouraged it is a sign of pride because it shows you trust in your own powers. Never bother about people's opinions. Be obedient to truth. For with humble obedience, you will never be disturbed.
--- Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The word for today is.....

Fealty.

Or maybe this one: Fidelity.

You can take Your pick. i'm not judging. i am merely presenting definitions for words or concepts that are probably as archaic to some people as the concept of self-control. They are certainly words that i will personally be meditating on in the next few days.

i bid you peace.

******************************************
On an entirely separate note regarding my post from yesterday: i did make it to the gym, i did work out and i totally kicked ass! And, when i went home, i discovered that my Master had made me a splendid chicken dinner. i remain the luckiest and most grateful girl in the world.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

23.56!!!

i've been struggling lately and i wasn't sure why. Depression? Am i ill? Crazy? Well, no. i just got back the results from my latest thyroid check. My Dr and the nurse both looked at me in surprise "do you feel ok?" no. "oh, ok, because your numbers are terrible!"

     Does anyone else think that i'm nuts for being happy to get crappy test results? Now i feel like there's a reason for how i've been feeling so i'm relieved! Maybe the medicine adjustment will kick in and i'll be feelin' groovy soon. (if anyone's interested in the numbers: they "should" be between 0.4 and 4.5, my last check up showed 3.98, yesterday's test was 23.56!!! so, yeah, my 'roid is outta wack, to say the least!)

So, since i've been having so much trouble keeping my brain fog-free enough to blog, i thought i'd just fill out a little journal prompt to get me going....

FOR TODAY 1/27/09...
Outside My Window...it’s cloudy and COLD! It really feels like it’s going to snow any minute. However, I can also hear squirrels doing that weird chittering noise they make when it’s mating season. So, yes – Spring is coming!
I am thinking...i really don’t want to go to the gym. Yup, I’m whining! I’m tired and I’m cold, I just can’t warm up. The last ting I want to do today is strip off in the cold locker room and change in to my frozen sneakers and gym clothes. Yuck. But I’m going to do it anyway!
I am thankful for...a Master who’s been taking super good care of me while I’ve been feeling like crap.
From the slave quarters…I am struggling. Not with submission but rather with having absolutely zero energy lately. That makes me feel like I’m either lazy or perhaps just crazy.
From the kitchen... I’m trying to plan the menu for the upcoming Superbowl feast. After all, it is a religious holiday in Master’s Household! :-)
I am wearing...my ridiculous purple boots that are lined with polar fleece. Hey! I said I was cold! Fashion be damned, I can’t stand cold piggies.
I am creating...i’ve been doing a lot of sewing lately. I’ve finished 3 old, half-done projects. A vest with a funky lining, a goofy dress with pink rick-rack trim and a skirt.
I am going...to collapse on the couch with a cup of tea as soon as I get home.
I am reading...Horses at the Gate by Mary Mackey.
I am hoping...that my new Thyroid medication makes me feel better.
I am hearing...Gary Numan, from the Replicas album and also the Pick-Ticket Printer at work is clacking away in the background.
Around the house...i took yesterday off and cleaned the kitchen. Long over due! Next up, my bathroom.
One of my favorite things... Here’s my new favorite thing: Master has learned how to duplicate the cool finger tip snapping thing that my Chinese massage therapist does. Yummy!
A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: trying to get to the gym, hopefully a big snow storm tonight and tomorrow (snow day!) and then, we’re going to see Metallica on Saturday evening. So, I’ll be deaf on Sunday. *grin*