Disconnect/Reconnect

So, most of last week was spent feeling completely disconnected and basically sorry for my sad self.

my neck felt like it was disconnected from the rest of my body - actually, i WISHED it felt disconnected. It actually was incredibly painful and out of whack. Master spent a lot of time massaging me and applying both ice and heat.

Work was just awful. Everyone was cranky, including me. One of my co-workers was out for a few days having minor surgery and i didn't even know anything was going on with her. Disconnected again! (Happy to report that she's fine!)

And then, much to my dismay, a phone call i made wasn't returned. *sigh* disconnected again. Not really a big deal, but after the week that i had - i really needed to hear a friendly voice! So, instead, i reached out to other people who i love dearly and was rewarded with some lovely conversation and much needed emails and texts. i love my peeps! :-)

So, come Friday, i was itching to get some action: i needed PLAY, sex, conversation, connection and human interaction. Really. i was as provocative as i could be on Friday night with out being blatantly disrespectful (and generally Master doesn't like a bratty slave!) But somehow, sashaying around in a tank top and panties that have an goofy owl on the butt is enough to get my ass spanked. i was rewarded for my sassiness with lots of delicious play! Fab! After that, we ended up having some great conversations.... which i almost (ALMOST!) needed more
than the play. (ALMOST!)

Saturday: i again practiced Artistic whining and provocativeness to get my way.

i convinced Master that we REALLY needed to go to the Eagle to support Peter and NYboL and Safer& Saner
after His holiday/work party dinner thing.
(And in the midst of my convincing that we should go out, i managed to strap on and fling Master in the sling!) (ok, i didn't fling Him- He ordered me to do it *grin*)
The work party was brutal - forced in to a conga line.... forced to HOLD HANDS WITH HIS CO-WORKERS and do some wacky circle dance! ack! ack! ack! Non-consensual dancing torture! But we got out of there as soon as possible to head to the Eagle, connect with everyone and carry on conversations that were started earlier in the week. Nice. Bliss! The place was jammed so that, unfortunately meant that i didn't get to have some of the conversations
that i wanted to have, but that'll happen in due course. i did get enough connection to make me happy indeed, so for a change, i will not whine. (patience, practice patience.....)

Sunday was an all day art class in town. i was up early, slightly hung over and bleary from lack of sleep. We were supposed to be making these funky photo layouts with words like "happy" and "splash" and "love" and instead i made things that said "NYboL" and "I M/s 2007"... which lead to a lot of questions. "Whats NYboL?" It's a boys club i belong to. "But you're a girl." i'm an associate and i only look like a girl and these are my brothers. "You have a lot
of brothers? Enough brothers that they have their own club?" Yes, i have a lot of brothers. They're all kinky perverts...
While fending off the questions, i did manage to learn a lot of new techinques and use some fun chemicals i'd never used before. Goggles are handy, indeed.

In the end, i was re-connected in spades.

True to form...

One of us usually comes down sick the weekend of MAL.
Friday, after work, i got my haircut. Chatted with one of my hair dressers clients for a while (OK, flirted.) Came home, Made dinner, felt great. Sat on the couch and in about 15 minutes i had chills and collapsed like a flan in a cupboard. Sweaty, achy, icky mess.
What the hell?

Spent the weekend feeling like crap. i was going to run in to the city last night with my hair guy and surprise someone with an unexpected visit. Instead, i laid around the house feeling like a crusty mess. Ack.

Glad we didn't go the MAL. Maybe next year i'll don a protective suit and respirator right after my birthday and stave of the germs long enough to see D.C.'s finest leather men in action.

Facilitation

Master and i discussed a plan i've been having for a while. i will be taking a class to learn how to facilitate a particular type of Art. (i guess some people would call it art therapy. i think it's intuitive work- like tarot)

i'll be going away in September for a while to do this. In the meantime, i have some work to do to get ready. All the foundations laid at SWLC... manifesting.

The Universe is so generous!

Tuesday 1/15/2008

Not too much i can share here, to protect the innocent. Yes, we got to connect. No, it wasn't the full day together that i hoped for. But, you know - i respect a person who can honor their obligations rather than chase tail. Dinner was lovely. We have all the time in to world to get "the other stuff". Connecting was more important and learning about each other is most important.

And, still, there were enough kisses to make me dizzy. Yes. Indeed.

SWLC - condensed.

Thursday January 10^{th 2008}

Well, i decided not to even try to go to bed. By the time i
was even close to being packed, it was midnight and we had to be up to leave at
3:30. That’s just enough sleep to make me really cranky, so i just stayed up.

The flight was great, i had some stylin’ new music to carry
me along (thanks Eric!) we landed early and we were greeted by SWLC volunteer,
slave tina – who had a thermos of good hot coffee ready for me! Thanks slave
tina! Once we arrived, we were whisked off to lunch at Mimi’s by another
volunteer, Bailey. (Bailey has some of the nicest corsets i’ve ever seen!
Yummy!)

We got checked in, set up the room and hung up our flags and
vests out on the balcony. it was nice to be the first people to do that and
then watch as more and more people arrived and got their banners, flags and
even boots hung up. i love that!

i took about a half an hour to set up my altar for the
weekend. i’ve been focusing on a few things: the directions that i want to take
in life, the way i’d like our relationship to expand, and my Art. There was a
neat little triangular table in the hotel room, with was a nice shape for the
intent that the main focus the altar was going to take. 3 candles lit, 3 bells
to be sewn on to my back on Sunday. 3 of everything. Master even brought along a cool camo knife
that i got to use as my ritual knife during the set up. it felt so right to
have that particular item of our Household be part of what i was asking for. As
it turned out, i was able to light the candles each time we returned to the
room

Good to reconnect with old friends and make some new ones.
Master and i headed off to Olive Garden for dinner and some of the last “alone
time” for the weekend. Pretty heady conversation about what we were focusing on
for the Dance of Souls and what the Universe can manifest for us. Also, being
careful for what you ask for….. Hmmmm…..

Back for the meet and greet and more connecting with
friends. Delicious!

Bed, sleep to the sound of the waterfall in the atrium.
Bliss!

Friday

Judge’s meeting early. The rest of the day was spent
wandering about, spending some quality time with Master Taino and Master Alex,
as well as slave caroline and many, many others. (i finally got my fish tacos! J )

We were honored to meet Luke Owens, the gentleman who
started the Master slave contest. Yes, Luke – You ARE still making ripples in
the community! Thank You!

Opening ceremonies, i was bawling my eyes out during the
tribute to Ms. Velvet (Beverly)
and Sir Robin, who both passed away in 2007. i miss Bev and i wish i’d gotten
to know Sir Robin.

Now, in our registration packet was a cool little Swiss army
type knife. i’ve been thinking for a while now that when i went to SWLC, i’d be
coming home with a new knife. When i opened my packet and the knife fell out, i
thought “oh, that must be the knife i dreamed about, cool.” Later on during the
day, i went to check out the silent auction. There it was. A beautiful, hand
made, well loved, full of life ritual knife. Master and i saw it at the same
time and He exclaimed “i think supposed to go home with you!” Well, easier said
than done – it was on the auction table. We found out a little about the
history of the knife. it turned out that it belonged to Sir Robin. i placed a
bid and then began the long, uncomfortable process of watching the bids
accumulate! What will happen? Who knows?

At the end of the ceremony, Master Taino gave me a flower.
*speechless* :-)

Saturday

Laid back morning, although we were up very early. We
doodled around, did some shopping, checked on my bid and basically relaxed for
most of the day. We spent a bit of time going over our notes for class and then
wandered down to our class room. We both expected no one to be there… it’s not
false modesty, i honesty feel like i’m no where near in the league of some of
the other presenters. So, the class starts filling up and the people keep
piling in….. Now i’m freaking out! it ended up being a full room! We got
started and the questions were flying – awesome, thoughtful questions that
really made the presentation sing. Excellent. i was blown away and felt might
proud of both of us by the end. immediately afterwards, we had to hustle over
to do some more judging. …

After that, room service for dinner – yes, i ate a club
sandwich while showering! Talk about a time crunch – i needed a ton of time to
get my magenta hair to stand up high! :-) During
intermission i got a GREAT phone call. it’s amazing what 3 minutes on the phone
can do to improve my mood. Yeah, lucky girl i am. Plans are a “go” for Tuesday
when i get home. For more details of the contest, please check out Master
Larry’s blog entry here.

To end the evening on an even happier note, after the phone
call – it turned out that i placed the winning bid on Sir Robin’s knife. What
an honor for me to be able to take such an important part if Him home with me.

Sunday:

Up for the brunch and keynote address. i ended up leaving early from that to go back
to the room and do my personal preparations and rituals for the Dance of Souls.
i gathered up my 3 bells, the skirt i was going to wear and a few other items
that i wanted to have with me.

Master Z of Dallas
ended up being my piercer. What a great connection. i was scared but excited. i
was SO ready for this to happen. We fussed a bit with the placement of the hooks;
But He was patient and understanding. Such a calm demeanor that man has! And
then: *growl* the first needle was in. Wow! i loved that He growled right back
in my face. Sexy! Hot! Connected! YES! Second needle, *growl* again! Yes! Then
place the hooks…. Then i turned around for Him to place the needles and threads
for the bells. Yes!

There’s a gentleman
that whenever i see Him, just makes me blush. i don’t know why. i don’t think i’ve
ever said more than 3 words at a time to Him…. He just makes me unable to speak
for some reason. He was standing at the head of the piercing line while i was
getting my back done and was looking me right in the eye – giving me some
silent, smiling support. Thank You Hot Nameless Man! :-)

i scuttled off to the tying stations, first to get my cords
and carabiners then to the next station to get the bells actually tied on.

The rest of the Dance, well… let’s just say it was Magickal.
i got to really reconnect with the Man that i love and serve and respect. my best friend and my Master. i got to pull with many people and got to share energy with friends and
strangers and my whole Leather Tribe. i saw some true beauty that day. i even
got to pull with Master Alex, who i think is one of the few people who
really understands what a big deal (medically) it was for me to be able to get pierced and pull
like i did. Truly an Honor for me.

i can’t even begin to describe what this was like. To anyone
who has never done this or even gone to SWLC – just do it. Show up and live
your life.

After: a communal buffet dinner at the hotel. Food is so
grounding after that and so necessary after dancing for so many hours. 4? 5? 6?
Who knows!

After that: mellow conversation with many and a chance to
finally meet Elwood (hot!) and talk to him. i like that man’s presence. Yes,
indeed. Perhaps we’ll meet again in Chicago?
Yes!

Bed, sleep, bliss……zzzzzz……..

Monday:

Up early, to the airport. Sleep on plane. Home, Dog chaos,
love! Made a call, went to bed….. What does tomorrow hold for me?

The count down is starting to go....

(yes, it's an Exploited reference...)

Still running about packing: all the last minute things, dog food, confirm the dog sitter, print the boarding passes, load my new ipod (a vendor of mine gave me a 4 gig NANO -sweet!) with new music (thanks Eric!) find my headphones.... find Master's headphones...make a call and try to firm up plans for Tuesday when i get home....

We haven't traveled in about 6 weeks and i have no idea how so much stuff got disorganized. We were living out of our suit cases for a while and now i can't find anything! Argh! The pups are completely freaked out by the suit cases - they know we're leaving and they hate it. They keep stealing my socks and underwear.

i even managed to get a new swim suit (ok, i don't swim, so it's a "clutch the side of the pool in a pathetic attempt to not drown" suit) even if i will have to hold my new tattoo out of the water. i am determined to get in the pool at least on Thursday. Even anti-water Master is bringing HIS suit! Whoot!

OK - off to finish packing....

Packing

Oy, why is packing alway such a last minute thing for me? OH, yeah, i remember... i'm not in charge and i need to let go....

On the annoying front - i can't find my other uniform skirt. Crap!

On the happy front - i DO get to dress up for the actual contest portion of our evening on Saturday. :-)
i did have a great day at work, on the road in this weather was a pleasure, crankin' the stereo (old Buckcherry) and open windows, driving fast... Whoot!
i did have an amazing conversation with someone. i LOVE talking music and i miss that a lot. Fun! Nice, i hope the conversation continues sometime.

Master just announced that cigars are packed! Yippee!

i also spent sometime selecting 3 brass bells to have sewn on during the Dance of Souls. Had to make sure the Tones are compatible. :-) OH, Rituals are such fun. (Manifest, Manifest, Manifest!)

OK, off to finish laundry and off to bed. Sweetest dreams! (although the sweetest ones lately leave me breathless and exhausted. Maybe i should wish for dreamless sleep?) *grin!*

Stuffed with Chocolate!

Off to the MAsT Metro NY meeting this morning. Man, is my arm sore! i keep looking down and am startled to see this HUGE tattoo on my arm. She's so beautiful!


i got an amazingly thoughtful gift from sc. Thanks so much! It'll be well used in my studio. After the meeting Master took me to VNYL for a great dinner. We were supposed to meet with the Some One i keep mentioning, but they are horribly ill. As cute as i think baby seals are, when a human is coughing like a baby seal barks, it's not so good. But i did get a call from this person and for me - getting a call to wish me a happy birthday when you're feeling like death warmed over is awesome and important. :-) Feel better!

Dinner was great, we had the same waiter as last time and he's funny and very cute! Master and i split a fabulously decadent chocolate fudge cake with vanilla ice cream and pistachio brittle. OH MY GODDESS! Was that amazing!? It was really enough to serve 3. (maybe next time, *grin*!)

i also got a bunch of great emails and text's from well wishing friends - that really meant a lot to me! :-) Oh, and a call from Master Blair! Oh, and one more email from another, entirely different, cute boy. Sigh....

Now we're home and i am very satisfied. It's been one of the best birthday weekends that i've had in a long time. Maybe since my 29th (Motorhead concert, a blizzard and somehow a stray Brazilian guy ended up in our house.... Long story)

How blessed am i? VERY!

Inky salty ice cream cake!

Well, i started my morning running off the see my new tattoist, Leah. She got there a few minutes after i did (i was early) and we got right to work with the final consult and a few adjustments to the design. Moments later, i was getting the stencil applied and some details drawn on and... and.... hours later, my forearm is covered with the outline of my Victorian Lady Blacksmith! Whoo hoo! Very Steampunk imagery, right down to the cog that she's forging and the goggles perched on her head. Super fetish boots she's got on also. my beautiful steamy pinup! :-)

Then home to an ice pack and a nap. Master cooked dinner for me while i supervised. Great job! Everything was amazing. (i must add, that Master wore my new brown corc's all day to help me break them in. Those bad boys are stiff as hell. His feet are sore and i am grateful!) Post dinner, we each made calls. Trying to wish Master Blair a very happy birthday Herself and i'm trying to firm up dinner plans with... well, you know. :-)

Then: surprise! Birthday ice cream cake a day early (since He won't have me all to Himself tomorrow, what with the MAsT Metro NY meeting and hopefully a shared dinner and all) Delish! and a gift! for me! Master got me this really cool lamp made out of salt. Yes, it's one of these goofy new agey pink salt lamps. i've been eyeing them up for a while. They look cool and i can like it if i ever get a salt craving and there's no snacks in the house.

Now, settled on couch, with Birthday Beer and Spiderman 3 on DVD. Cool! It's been a great birthday weekend so far. Happy 41 to me, i think it's going to be an amazingly interesting year.

In honor of the Caucus:

my friend Eric, of the band voodooNOUVEAU has released a new track from his upcoming CD. i told him that i i liked the track, i'd promote it here. i was blown away by how good it is. (not that i'm surprised - he's an outstanding musician.)

If you are interested in Industrial style, raw synth punk - please go to his myspace page and check it out.

i happily present: The Honest Candidate
Please turn up your speakers! :-)
GO ERIC!

Willful disobedience and Lust.

Yes, Trying to follow orders and falling Prey to Lust is a deadly
combination. i did something perhaps completely out of my
oh-so-obedient character on New Year's Eve. Well, it was at 3 a.m. so
technically it was New Year's Day.



Did i screw up massively? Well, yes. Yes, i did.

Will i admit that i had a good time? Well.....



i actually feel like a little kid - well, if i'm going to be bad, i'm going to be really bad. Oh, i can be so mature! :-)



So, while i feel really terrible for being disobedient, i absolutely
must admit, it the interest of being honest and transparent: i had fun
doing it. In the interest of protecting the Innocent, i give no
details. Those people in my life who know what's going on in my life
right now know of whom i am speaking of. No one else needs to know.



In the end, Master has forgiven my indiscretion - understanding that
even women, even slaves, can think with their small head sometimes.
:-)



We've worked out some Rules of Engagement, which were going to be
worked out at a later date - but things have progressed much faster
than any one anticipated.



All is well.