Christmas Mayhem

So, by 9:00 p.m. yesterday, it looked like an elf threw up in the house. Paper and boxes, ribbons and tags, instruction manuals and candy - everywhere!

Master and i had an amazing 4 days together. We spent Solstice in the City with old friends and my new friend *grin* and Christmas Eve with His family. Christmas day was spent with The Aunt.

i am sad to say that by about 4 in the afternoon, i'd had enough and started to get cranky. She's become such a... well, cranky old lady. :-) Whenever she'd give the Right Wing, just-mild-enough-to-get-away-with-but-still-slightly-racist comment - it was just driving me bananas! i was also getting annoyed (and this is *my* problem, not hers!) by how she's losing her mental acuity. i know that i'm expressing my worry about her by being annoyed - that doesn't make it ok for me to do, i'm just acknowledging that i understand what my issue is. No one enjoys watching a loved one begin to decline.

She had a lot of fun with our crazy dogs. They love going over there and tearing around the house. LiLu loves having someone else to lick and bother. Taybor gets good experience being around other people, since he's very timid for such a big dog.

So, the gifts.... The Aunt gave me a wide assortment of Art tools which i asked for. i was shocked to see a bunch of Master's late Mother's Art tools in the box. i never got to meet her, she died long before i met Master but she was an amazing Artist and also a writer. To be entrusted with her tools was a huge honor for me.

i am always bowled over by the attention that Master pays to what i'm saying through out the year. i'll mention something in April and come Christmas, it's in my stocking or under the tree. i love a Man that pays attention - that, my friends, is a sexy thing! :-) Goodness!

i got Master a sling and frame from the Leatherman. Yup, it really does assemble in 5 minutes. Yup, it's sturdy. Yup, it's broken in. Yup, it's going to remain assembled in the living room until after New Year's Eve! The house reeks of leather and leather sex.

And to wrap up my evening, i'd like to state for the record again: Yes, the inventor of the telephone was a genius who has brought great pleasure and satisfaction to my life, as of late. i'd also like to whine that i do not enjoy the foibles of the modern cell phone service, what with all the static and dropped calls. Having a conversation of a somewhat intimate nature get disconnected 6 times is frustrating - and not in that sexy "well, you'll just have to wait for it" deep voice kind of way. *sigh* Honestly, sometimes a carrier pigeon or telegraph seems like it would be more efficient. (Not that ".-- .... .- - / .- .-. . / -.-- --- ..- / .-- . .- .-. .. -. --. ..--.. " is really all that stimulating.) (yeah, leave me a comment and i'll give you the translation for that, if you dare!)

Happy Solstice to all!

i hope everyone had as fantastic a day
as i did. Saturday Master and i both slept in a bit, good way to kick
off a long weekend if you ask me. Plus, i was allowed to sleep in His
bed by both Him and the dogs. The canine duo cooperated with me and
made a little space for my flannel clad butt. Nice!

Then i scooted off to the kitchen to bake some chocolate drop
shortbread cookies to take with me in to the City tonight. Yes, elf
slave barb needed to do a goofy cookie run! :-) Next thing we knew it
was time to get dressed and head out to Master Jack's presentation for
TES. It took the usual 25 minutes to get to the Lincoln tunnel and
then.... over 2 hours to get in to the City and get parked! Oye! We we
running so late... or so we thought. Turns out Master Jack hit the same
traffic and HE was running late too. TES thoughtfully provided pizza
and soda while we waited, so there was a fun party atmosphere about the
whole thing. The presentation was great, the handout was, as usual,
outstanding and very useful. Lots of good tips for both beginners and
more experienced people.

After the presentation i took Master out for a Solstice
dinner at VNYL. That was a fun restaurant, except Master made me have
the Whitney Houston menu. Ick! Dinner was great, Purple Rain martinis
are delish! (pricey but tasty) i look forward to going there again when
i'm not wearing a corset so i can try some of the appetizers! :-)

We had a leisurely walk over to the Eagle, enjoyed the sights
of the city, all the holiday lights, the smell of the Christmas trees
being sold on the street, people bustling around with their last minute
errands. We spent a few hours chilling at the Eagle and then i got to make
my cookie drop! You know, i am a REALLY lucky girl. i'd also like to
point out that i don't need no stinkin' mistletoe to get what i want
need. Yes, i am lucky! :-)



Traffic was blessedly light and we made it home quickly. A few antics
and we were off to bed. Well, Master was off to bed. i was off to
pacing around the house. Made a call, had some great but all too brief
conversation and then i was finally able to fall asleep. (i guess
sometimes i just need to be tucked in! *grin* )



Yes, Happy Solstice!

Shred Your Bad Memories of 2007Shred Your Bad Memories of 2007

This sounds like fun: anyone got anyone or anything they want to shred? i know i have a few things/people that i'd like to dump in Times Square! Please share your comments!

Shred Your Bad Memories of 2007


NEW YORK (AP) -- In the spirit of starting anew, a business group and the city's sanitation department are inviting New Yorkers to shred their bad memories of 2007.

Everything from photos of ex-lovers to lousy report cards will be fair game when the Times Square Alliance and the New York Department of Sanitation set up shredders in the Times Square Visitors Center for an hour on Dec. 28.

Recycling bins will be available for items that can't be shredded, like embarrassing fashion mistakes, annoying CDs and irresistible - and fattening - chocolate chip cookies. The organizers say they'll also provide stationery for passers-by to jot down memories they wish would go away.

A grand prize of $250 will be awarded to the person deemed to be most creative in letting go of old baggage.

Better get there by noon: At 1 p.m., a sanitation truck will pick up the distasteful, the disturbing, the downright depressing - and cart it all away.

You can pick your friends...

You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family.

It's true.

i am very annoyed right now. In fact, so annoyed that i can't really write anything else right now. i have to cool down first. i think i'll go soak my head in some ice water.

Can someone call Cthulu for me? Please? i have a job for him..... *evil grin*

Thrifting!

my thrift store treasures today:

A Flight suit for Master that fits oh-so-good for $4.00.

A camo BDU shirt for Master for $4.00



and (drum roll please) a great, real-sheep-skin brown leather bomber
jacket for me for 20 bux. Old, nicely worn and broken in. Super warm.
Needs a bit of repair on a few seams and it's hanging up in the bathroom
soaking up huberd's like a sponge. It's going to be a fine looking coat
in a about a week. Will go well with goggles. Needs a aviator's helmet to go with it....Oh, and a full length black velvet dress for $4.00.



i am happy to report that my title vest is hanging safely in the
closet. i keep peeking at it to make sure it's really there. (yeah, i'm
a dork!) i'm on the couch, having a cup of tea and munching on cookies that my Master made for me.
Lucky girl. Grateful girl!

But it's just a vest....

***i wasn't going to write about this, because i didn't want anyone
else to find out about it. But i think this is an important thing, so
i'm sharing it with you all.***



Well, the weather held out so Master gave the go ahead to get dressed
up and head out to the NYboL bar night. As usual, the boys did a bang
up job and packed the 9th Ave Saloon. There was a delightful Santa to
pose with, Mr Eagle 2008, Peter Schwartz. The cake to celebrate the 2
year anniversary of NYboL was great. We had an amazing time taking to
S. D. which for some reason, we just never get a chance to do. It was
nice to get some time with him. i really like the boy's mind! :-)



So, then.. it's time to leave. Master gathered up our coats. We grabbed
a cab, got back to Master's car and.... hey, why is there only one vest
on the back seat of the car? Yeah, my vest. Missing. my heart sank, my
stomach almost flew out of my throat, but since my throat was closed
and i was hyperventilating, it didn't . A million thoughts ran through
my mind:



i'm an idiot.

Master is going to be so disappointed in me.

i'm in big trouble.

Master Jim and slave marsha and Mark Frasier and Cougar are going to kick my ass.

i'm a bad slave.



i was already planned 2 things: my funeral and how i was going to get
another vest and patch made so no one would ever know what i did. i
know i'm not the only person who's ever misplaced a title vest. In
fact, i have rescued a few myself for other people who put them down in
a bar or at an event. But, let me tell you - when it's YOUR vest, it's
the most agonizing feeling that you've ever had.



Master totally kept His cool, while i became a gibbering lunatic in the passenger seat. i made a few calls to the boys to look
around for it and we drove back to the Saloon. There it was. Just sitting
there all alone. my poor vest. i scooped it up, took some well deserved
ribbing from the boys and we headed home.



Since this incident ended up well in the end, it was a great
opportunity to think about what this hunk of Leather means to me. Since
this one was the result of 2 solid years of preparation, soul
searching, darn hard work - it means a lot to me. As a result of all
the work i put in to myself towards earning the title, i've gotten much
better at speaking my mind, standing up for myself and being very clear
about what my needs and wants are. And making sure that they get met.
It's like it's the skin i grew as i was making this journey and found
my true self. Master and i both get big grins on our faces, still -
almost a year after earning these vests. Every time. They're a part of
our personal history and a part of the community's history.



"But it's just a vest." No. No, it is not.

Fabulous!

Master took me to see I AM LEGEND tonight. Fantastic!

i got a package from a new California friend! i can't wait to have a free moment to sit with a glass of Shiraz, lit some candles and open it. Oh, yes, it's so good to have a fellow member of the V.B. Fan Club! Thanks Daddy George! i love You!

After i cooked up an amazing dinner, but before we left for the movie, i got a LONG phone call that i was waiting for. Plans are made, girl is happy, happy, HAPPY! Did i say i was happy? Oh, Yes. Happy, with a capital "Fuck Yeah!"

Fabulous. Lucky girl. me.

Snow NO!

Ordinarily, i get quite jazzed about snow. i love big blizzards, being
snow bound. Baking bread and making soup in between shoveling. Hot
chocolate, steaming cups of chai and snuggling in my fuzzy socks.
Explaining to the neighbors that "yes, i do wear a skirt while i am
shoveling. No, i do not own any pants. Please go away." Taking the dogs
for long snowy walks. This is the first time in a long time that i have
been so anti-snow.



i REALLY want to go to the NYboL bar night! It's their 2 year
anniversary. i feel like we haven't gotten to spend anywhere near
enough time with the boys. We became associate members and then soon
after, won the International titles... so we've been on the road a lot.
They all did so much for us, hosting our fund raiser before we headed
off the South Plains last year, the NYboL Bootblacks took such darn
good care of us.... i just want to go to the party and be festive, damn
it!



Mrs. Snow, Please hold off until Sunday morning, OK?

Topics for discussion

i thought i'd write somethings down before the meeting for MAsT Central NJ tomorrow. i tend to not be the most spontaneous speaker ever during these meetings, so i figured i'd write my stuff down and share it. Comments are welcome and would be much appreciated! Fire away!

** Does our gender/sexual orientation or identification impact upon our ability to form an M/s relationship?

Personally,
i don't feel that gender has any effect on the ability to form an M/s
relationship. With that being said, if your goal in forming a
relationship is not one of M/s but rather to form a sexual, romantic
partnership than, yes: by all means your gender and orientation will
have an impact on the who and how a relationship is formed.
slaves have gender, SERVICE is genderless.
(Forming a
romantic partnership is a noble and beautiful thing. Just be clear that
that is your goal and stop muddying the waters.What is your intention?
Be clear!)



** Are there problems unique to our individual gender/sexual orientation or identification within such relationships?
The
unique problem that i personally have is trying to separate for myself
and for outsiders the fact that i am a feminist and won't put up with
being treated un-equally or disrespectfully by a man. People on the
outside may see what i do as being a wussy and letting myself be
trampled by "my man" when in fact, Him being a man has nothing to do
with the relationship that we have (in my opinion) He could be a woman
and my *submission* would be the same.


** Are there problems that we regard as universal,
regardless of gender/sexual orientation or identification within such
relationships?
The
universal problems are just that: universal. i have seen just as many
gay male pairs having issues with their biological/adopted children as
het pairs. i've seen just as many het pairs arguing over money issues
as lesbian pairs, etc, etc etc....



** What problems arise within M/s Households where gender/sexual orientation or identification of the participants is mixed?
The
problems that i have seen arising in mixed households is that the
personal sexual needs of individuals might not be getting met in a
timely manner. It's hard to find time to serve a person and at the same
time find time to have an outside boyfriend/girlfriend/fuck buddy, etc.
With that being said, there can be just as many issues with a het pair
or gay pair not getting their needs met or making time for their
additional partners. Play time is play time, it's a great thing but,
time is a finite resource. We all need to *make time* to get our NEEDS
met. Finding balance in all your relationships is about making sure
that your wants/needs/desires are being communicated, understood and
acted upon. If making time to get your needs met means sitting down
with a calendar and scheduling it in - the by all means do it.



** What resistance or obstacles have I, as a GLBT, or het individual encountered within the M/s community?
The main resistance i've experienced:
Because i am married, that my Master is really just my bossy husband.

Because we are male and female, we are perceived as being
heterosexual and monogamous. (which can make getting a date sort of
difficult! *grin*)
Because we are male and female, we couldn't possibly be doing M/s correctly.

However, i think i have, by and large gotten more "resistance" from
het people, in the form of their perception that what Master and i are
doing is a bedroom game, the same as they are playing.
What we do isn't playing. It's our lives.

(i'd
also like to add that the resistance that i have experienced has been
actually very little and mostly from people who i find obnoxious
anyway... so it just makes me laugh...)

** Our community is inclusionary of all such orientations...how can we
better serve and support the diversity represented within our community?
First
of all, i don't believe that most our community IS inclusionary of all
such orientations. At all. (However, i think that that is a separate
topic - i'm not even going to try to tackle that here.... Don't even
get me started on the annoying habit of certain people to de-gender
trans people after they have been repeatedly corrected. Have i ever
made that mistake personally? You bet i have. But when the same
incorrect pronouns roll off the same people's tongues, over and over -
then, to me, it's being done on purpose. As a dig. As spite. *stepping
off my soap box now*)
Secondly:
showing up to other groups events would be a really good start. When
other groups in the community invite each other to their parties, and
meetings - it might be beneficial or at least polite to send a
delegation to the events that they've opened to you. Eventually, if
such invitations are extended and not attended and / or reciprocated,
people get the message that you really aren't interested in learning
about them and supporting them and stop inviting you.

Busy weekend ahead and new eyes....

Very busy weekend ahead - tonight is the Leather Bar Night in Asbury Park.... it'll be so nice to see my Asbury leather family tonight. i love the friendship that i've found there. i wish i could see everyone there more often than i do.

There are also 2 other parties to attend this weekend.

And for the new eyes part: i was talking to someone about what i do for a living and they got all excited. What? i mean, yeah, i can get tons of gloves for sex but... oh, wait... i can get not just the occasional pair of Corcorans but i can get RUBBER boots. You know, thigh high rubber boots. Big crazy respirator masks.... other implements of destruction play.Suddenly, my ho-hum boring catalogs become porn when seen through someone else's eyes. i really like the way this person thinks.
Oh. yes. i. do.
:-)

Fear of a blank page...

i've been having a blast getting work done in my Studio. Master peered in the other night and was looking at *me*, not my work and announced how great i was! ( i was working on a collage at the same time as my embroidery machine was whirring away with a design i'd just digitized.) i started to get nervous - is He judging my work? (Right now, i don't think i even want positive comments because i'm afraid it'll jinx me or make me cocky or ... whatever.) But he said "Nope, it's the look in your eyes, you're glowing. you're happy. I like that!" and then He wandered off in search of some candy.... That was NICE!

i had (probably still have) an intense fear of the blank page. Whether it's a diary/journal or a poetry/journal or an Art/journal... it's always hard to get started. i've tried all kinds of rationalizing to get past that. A few things have helped.

1: i read somewhere - "in Art, as in life, you have to make your first mark" i don't want to live a mark-less life, so i'd better get past this, no?
2: i can, if i chose to, leave the first couple of pages blank. They can become an index of the work that's in the later pages or i can go back to them later and fill them up.
3: i can "get over myself" by taking the book, a box of water colors and just filling the entire book, every page with color - so i have an entire book ready to collage in. (This is my current favorite thing. Watercolors still allow me to write on the pages, if i need to. And i do need to!)

Releasing/letting go of that one tiny piece of Art a few weeks ago seems to have unleashed a flood of creativity in me. (i suppose it helps to have an inadvertent Muse in my life!)

i am still practicing my patience skills in other parts of my life. Apparently i am waiting for the correct combination of work schedules, days off, a lack of cold germs and travel schedules and let's just throw in a conjunction of stars and moon while i'm at it. Oy, really, patience is not my strong suit. (i think i'll just wander around singing a few bars of Carly Simon "anticipation.... anticipation is making me wait" but all i can picture is Heinz Ketchup when i do that!) (did i make you all sing along in your heads? Good!)
OK, back to work at my job so i can earn money for Art supplies....

Spent

Great weekend. Not at all as i was envisioning it, but fabulous none
the less. Saturday was some of the hottest, wettest sex that i've had
in a long time. Say it along with me kids: Hydration is your friend.
Sharing your hydration is also your friend.

Post sex, i wandered in to the studio and got to cleaning. Spent an
hour digging out and throwing away. Then i got to gluing. i LOVE having
those big speakers in there so i can have good music while i'm working.
Made a call at 3:30 and then did some more work. In a fit of... oh, who
knows what, i spilled something on a collage i'd been working on, got
mad, tore it up. Ended up re-assembling it with some old German
newspapers and grommets and some hand sewing (sewing through paper
sucks!) and now i like it even more.



By 6 a.m. i was waiting for the phone to ring, watching the snow... i fell asleep.



Master got me up a few hours later and i ended up having my planned
Core day, which was: Studio time. So, i ended up with almost 24 solid
hours of good work done. Finally got that call i was waiting for. Late,
but still so good.



Right now, i am: sexually satisfied, my fingers are stained with ink
and paint, i'm tired and i'm happy and i am spent, in a really good
way. Things are coming together in ways not expected - like a collage
gone awry, glued back together and seen with new eyes. Things are good.
Very, very good.

Contracts, new cars, racing and Christmas....

So, i am glad that my life is not a race. Things that i want are just outside my grasp, so to speak. "Patience in all things" was the motto i used to mutter to Taybor when we first got him and he'd destroy something. i think i need to go back to muttering that to myself. But really, i am actually enjoying the anticipation and well, i guess i'm enjoying the learning process. *grin* Yes, i am being cryptic. That's what Ladies should be, right?

i've been working on the contract changes that Master and i have been negotiating for the past month. It's nice to be able to eliminate some of the things that just don't need to be in there, because we've both out grown them. Equally nice to add in different clauses for things that *i* might need as i realize that my personal needs are changing and my world might be expanding. All i have to say is, negotiating can sometimes be really hot and fun. i like contract renewal time!

i am digging the heated seats in Master's new car. Hot, toasted slave buns! Yummy! And leather seats? Bliss!

Today we loaded up the Advent calendar with chocolates. i didn't have one as a kid (i wasn't raised in a Christian household) and Master's family didn't do one either. i picked one up a few years ago and Master LOVED the idea of one candy per day to lead up to Christmas. First of all, it's just fun. Secondly, both of us can get through the day without snacking on holiday junk food at work if we keep in mind that we get to have a really good, quality piece of chocolate when we get home. It's nice.

i am blissed out on the couch, enjoying a latte, snoring dogs next to me. Thinking about my date night tonight (porno store, xxx film booths, then the go-go bar and then home to watch whatever we buy at said porno store)

Yeah, it's a good life, i'm glad it's not a race.

Carpe Noctum? i'm TRYING!

did i mention that i think the telephone is a grand invention? Yes. Yes, it is.
So, while i'm waiting around to Carpe Noctum....
Let me tell you, my faithful readers about how i did a completely goofy thing getting out of the car today. i have a couple of Pharmaceutical clients that i have to visit every 3 weeks. One of them needs this sample of a chemical proof suit. i'm supposed to deliver this big bird yellow suit tomorrow. As i stepped out of my car, i spilled an entire mug of coffee on it. Well, it's not exactly coffee proof. By the time i got it in the house, it got stained and rumpled. i'm trying to get it cleaned off, dried and to not smell like coffee so they can do some testing on it. Good grief.... so out the window goes any idea of playing fantasy dress up by wearing it tonight and being the sexy big yellow laboratory geek.... i can't wait to deliver it and have someone sniff it and say "does this whole product line smell like Arabica?"

Live in such a way, that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, the devil says, "Oh no, she's awake!!"

Amazing Weekend! First of all, i LOVE 4 day weekends! They've just got such relaxing feel, i love not knowing what day it is? Thinking that Saturday is Sunday and then realizing that i still have ANOTHER day off! Watching the two lines that are between Master's eyebrows go away during the course of the weekend is a big bonus for me!

We've been getting to spend a lot of time with our Asbury Leather Family and also with the NYboL Family in the past few weeks. i had no idea at the beginning of the title year how much i was going to miss those guys. No idea at all. i know that we've been doing really good work, but man, oh man... i really was getting home sick. i've been having fun the past few weeks, thinking of what to fill up the time with, after we step down. Yes, i know - we're already booked for a lot of dates in 2008. But it's not going to be anywhere near as busy. i firmly believe that the Universe hate a vacuum and will fill up empty space with something. So, before the Universe gives me some crappy space fillers, i've booked myself at another Art retreat. Not the same on as last year, but i am even more excited about going somewhere different and learning new things. So exciting. i had 15 days between when they announced the classes and when registration started, so i plotted and planned and i think i got the best possible classes for me. Some are just going to be fun, some are going to be difficult (metal work!) and a couple are really going to stretch my skills. And that, my friends, is going to be a good thing.

A few years ago when i got back in touch with an old friend (and Master's old band mate) He told me how he always looked up to me and my personal style. That i was an ass-kicking girl that made him so proud. That i was a role model for him. A role model? me? i started thinking about whether i had lived up to the expectations or projections that he'd put on me - and decided that i had NOT. But more importantly, i wasn't living up to my own expectations. i let a lot of crap get in my way. i completely abandoned my Art. i compromised my moral values. i compromised on what i needed to become a full, complete and healthy person. The combination of that kick in the ass and the mental/spiritual inventory that i did before running for the titles with Master did wonders for me. i decided that the people that i had chosen as role models for myself, the people who cut me off or cut me out or really, truly spiritually disappointed me were not worth looking up to.

i took a bold step 9 days ago, after 2 months of wondering and planning and discussing it with Master. With His encouragement, i've asked for something that i really, really want. For me, that 2 months of envisioning all the possible out comes, what could go wrong, what could go oh-so-right, was it worth the risk.... Yeah, i'm a ruminator. But, in the end, the only way to manifest something in to being is, i believe: do your homework, ask for what you need/want and then let it go..... (yes, that's how we Witches work!) The hardest part is the letting go. i asked for what i wanted and then let go so hard it hurt. (Part of what i let go was a piece of my Art, i've never done that. Ever. Scary stuff for a recovering Artist!) Patience is NOT my particular virtue. It looks like i am, ultimately going to get my heart's desire.

i am thankful for 4 day weekends, Holidays spent with Great Friends in warmth and good fellowship. i am grateful that i can let go of old baggage, to make room for new experiences. That my life is filled with Beauty and Art again. So happy that other people have reached out to me, welcomed me in to their circle. Grateful that i have a loving and generous Master to share my life with. Thankful for remission so that i can play hard again. Thankful for a body that is strong and is capable of giving and receive such great delight. For great, healthy role models. Thankful that my path in life has so many twists and turns and different paths that i can travel. Welcoming a new experience in to my life. i've made room for it to happen. There's a line on the book "The Mists of Avalon" about whether there's an after-life or not - Life itself is reward enough. i am starting to see that that is so true.

No sleep 'til Brooklyn...

As the Beastie Boys would say: No sleep 'till Brooklyn.

Yes, that's right kids - Insomnia day 2. After a wonderful day out yesterday - i couldn't get to sleep at all. Oy, this sucks! i ended up getting up at 3 am and puttering around the studio. i made a call, thought really hard about taking a drive and decided against it (for now), puttered some more and actually got some work done. 4 Art journal pages decorated, one piece started for my next book binding project, and cleaned off my work area so i can actually get some work done.

Got a call at 6 A.M. which was superb and made me feel if not refreshed then at least, shall we say invigorated? Yes, that's what i'll say. Invigorated. :-) That's a good word. Did i mention that i was a lucky girl? i think i did. i'll say it again. i am a lucky girl!

There's definitely a short list of people who could call me that early (or late) and would make me happy.

Spent the rest of the day setting up the room for tonight, putting up holiday decorations. Pagan that i am, i still love the Christmas decorations. i'm looking forward to tonight. Hopefully, after a good night of play, i'll be able to get some sleep. i hope the 48 hours with no sleep doesn't ruin the evening though. We'll see. Sleep deprivation should be good for reaching new spiritual heights, right? i hope so!

happy happy HAPPY girl

Well, to start my day - or perhaps to end yesterday - i got NO SLEEP last night. i was tossing and turning all night. Thinking, pondering, wondering..... once my mind gets to working i should really just get up and write or make Art, but i always think "5 more minutes and i'll be asleep" which, of course never happens. Sometime around 6 A.M., i finally started to drift off.....so, when Master started with the chipper voice "Come on sunshine, time to make biscuits for the NYboL Thanksgiving!" i was less than happy and cheerful. i was a down right frightful grump.

Once i got dressed and had some Nectar of the Gods (coffee) things looked much brighter and we got to work on an assembly line of cheese grating, sifting and mixing. 3 Batches of whole wheat cheddar biscuits and a half gallon of gravy later, we were ready to head off to be festive. We breezed in on the train and got to Jake's really early....so we were put right to work: running for ice, chopping onions and peppers... and then i heard some muffled music from my purse. An unexpected (but very hoped for) phone call. That totally made my day. OK- who am i kidding? Made my month! Whoo hoo! Yeah, happy girl did the happy dance around Jake's kitchen! i ended up with a big dorky grin on my face all day. (yeah, i admit it! Big. Dorky. Grin)

The house started to fill up with old friends, new friends and good fellowship. Not to mention good smells. i loved watching Jake run his kitchen. He's amazing. i don't know how he can cook that variety of food, get it on the table hot and have it be so darn good. That man is a keeper! (and he make s a mean flan...)

Much later, we headed home. No Eagle bar for me tonight (*big frowny face*) - the dogs have been locked up too long and we have a long train ride home.

What an awesome day. Great friends, fantastic food, good conversation, a phone call i've been wanting..... i'm settled on the couch now, big cup of chai at hand, 80 pounds of dog on my lap. i can't wait to go to sleep and catch up on some dreaming about....

Anniversary Antics

So, after spending the morning being locked out in the yard by the deadly canine duo of Taybor and LiLu, Master and i hustled around trying to get ready in time to head out to Leatherfest at the Center....
We made it out right on time and breezed in to NYC. Leatherfest was hoppin'. i scored a pair of long, tweezer type nipple clamps and a gear shaped piece of jewelry. The nipple clamps will end up being used for holding things while i solder them, and the connecting chain i think will become the watch fob for my pocket watch. The gear jewelry will end up being a base for another creation - it was exactly what i was looking for. i'm sure the Leather Gods will be angry that i'm using BDSM tools for Art but i'm sure whatever Art i make will still have a perverse bent to it.

It was awesome to get to see the NYboL guys again, as well as seeing all my other Leathery friends. Although, once again - too many people that i expected to see there were MIA. Perhaps i just missed them? Who knows..... Oh, yes, and i got 25 punches and one to grow on while we were at the Fest...

Off to dinner with Jake, where we discussed important things, like Flan. :-) Then to the 9th ave Saloon for the NYboL bar night. Rubber was the theme - and once again, i am amazed that the scent of rubber is so hot to me. Hmmmmm. i have no interest in actually wearing rubber but jeez, it sure does smell great.

After that, we buzzed over to the Eagle for about an hour. We had a beer, i had 2 annoying guys say some somewhat crappy stuff to me. One was just flirting with me and had some boundary issues... the other one was all in my face like "what are YOU doing here? what are YOU doing in my bar?" This while he's in his white sneakers and cologne. BAH! Not to mention he was interrupting a conversation i was having. BAH again. At least, the gentleman i was conversing with handled the annoying dolt with style and shut him down cold. Very nice! i do so love kinky gentlemen....We finished our conversation and then it was time for Master and i to head home.

Home, anniversary sex. Yes, bliss. i am a very lucky girl.

Lassie! Come on girl!

i must now point out that neither of our dogs are very useful.... Master decided that this morning we should go out and rake up leaves, we were going to do that tomorrow but it's supposed to rain, so: let's get it done while the weather is good.

Well, we needed to use the leaf blower for part of the job, since we're still not supposed to walk on the new lawn. Dogs are, of course, afraid of the noise and are barking their heads off. So, i - brilliant slave that i am, put the dogs in the house. They leap around and somehow hit the latch on the back door. No problem, except the front door is also locked. As are all the windows.

Neither of us had keys or cell phone, so Master went to a neighbor's, got the dog sitter's number and called her. (Meanwhile, i was trying to reason with the dogs, trying to get them to understand that we're very busy today and i really needed to use the bathroom, so they should open the door. i came to the understanding that neither dog is as useful as Lassie.) The dog sitter scooted over with the key. We gave her a big tip for being so helpful.

We'll be making spare keys and hiding them around later today.

25 Years

Tomorrow, November 17th is our 25th Anniversary.
i am so blessed.
Here's a link to last years post about our anniversary.
i think it says it all, the only thing i can add is, as we've continued our journey as International Master & slave.... it's been a Hell of a ride for us. It seems that not many people grow together, or allow each other to grow in their own ways and still remain committed to each others happiness.
my life, what a blast!

i heart Virginia!

This weekend Master and i drove down to Charlottesville VA to present for C.U.F.F., i love taking long drives with Master. He's learned in the past couple of years to be a traveler and He really enjoys the experience. Rather than just seeing the journey as something to endure, He likes the whole "get to the airport early and watch the sunrise" experience or the "let's see how many cows we see per mile". It's a vast difference between the drives of old, when we were with The Band and everyone just hated the drives. We all loved getting to the shows but, man - 5 guys stinking up the van with their Man Gas and all the inner-band-politics-and-turmoil... oy. Not pleasant.

So, Charlottesville. What can i say about the town? um, i love it! It's just small enough to be cute and funky enough to be fun without being like big city madness. Tons of funky shops and good restaurants. i even managed to snag some art supplies (Literally, pounds of paper for $3.00, such a deal!) Nice, i would definitely be in to going there again and making more time to explore.

The group we presented for was amazing. They have a fantastic space (a private, members only Gay owned club/bar) which was warm and friendly and very well laid out. (i always love a bar that has a few cages on stage to do lock-down fund raisers...) Our host took such great care of us, dropping off a cooler of water and iced tea to our hotel room, taking us out for lunch, giving us a mini-tour and some college football lessons! The group themselves were equally warm and friendly, fun and asked *really* engaging questions. If anyone has the opportunity to present for them, i give a hearty "thumbs up" to them. Awesome! i SO want to go back down for their Holiday party next month - they are going to have a blast! :-)

Master and i had a party of our own and made the best of dirtying up Charlottesville ourselves by having a ton of hotel sex. Nothing like soiling some one else's sheets, i always say.

In which i discuss my ass cramp...

Gah! i wish my body felt better! i've spent the week hooked up to a TENS unit and last night was spent huddled on the couch while Master iced my hip. There's nothing like feeling unable to do things for your self to make you realize that you are normally a fairly strong and independent person. i miss going to the gym and doing my 320 lb shrugs. i just started to be able to bench press 70 lbs.... i feel like all my gains at the gym are going right down the toilet right now.

On the bright side, i am strong enough and healthy enough to create through my discomfort. i was able to get a little work done in the studio, even if i did have to stand up to do it. It was good, angry, uncomfortable art. Good release! i needed a good release: for both my physical pain-in-the-ass and the figurative one that's manifesting in my life right now.

i also had to say good bye to a client and friend who is retiring/moving away. The great part is he got the send off party that he deserved, it was amazing to see how loved he is. And i have a place to stay for free, should i ever get the chance to visit Puerto Rico. (The title is International, no? *grin*)

Let's hope my body feels better as we get ready to head off the teach in VA. It's a long drive on a sore ass! i am really looking forward to presenting - we've had a few weeks off and i'm getting itchy to do it again. (oh, gosh, did i just say that? me? i don't like doing presentations!) My, how things change!

what's that noise?

Master loaded the washing machine with all the dark clothes....
an hour later, i put the clothes in the dryer.... i sat down at my laptop and was answering email.....
*clunk* clunk* clunk* Hmmmm, what's that noise coming from the dryer?
Master?
Master runs from other room, cursing slightly. It's the work cell phone, washed and partially fluff dried.
i stand up and go to walk over to help Him dry it off. my foot tangles in the cord, my laptop does a very comical pratfall to the floor. Now it's broken too.
Yes, it was technological bumper cars last night and we lost.
Master got me an extended warranty which actually ends next month - so i'll drop it off at Best Buy tonight and pray that the Geek Squad can work it's magic. Grrrr......

Blessed Samhain!

Happy New Year!
We're entering the dark season, time to nest and snuggle... time to start work on introspective projects, time to work on ourselves. It's time to remember and honor our beloved dead, time to cast runes and divine the future, to plot our course for the upcoming year.

November and December this year, we'll be busy writing new classes for the upcoming year. Not to mention writing our step down speeches for South Plains. i also need to begin my biscuit recipe testing soon so i am ready to meet NYboL Jake's expectations on Thanksgiving! Oh, my poor Master, subjected to a dozen recipes.....

A co-worker of Master's (and formerly a co-worker of mine) unexpectedly passed away overnight. She was a wacky, fun, little old lady. Really daft, but in a fun "I Love Lucy" kind of way. Great sense of humor. Always mothering people. She sat next to Master in His office, and they helped each other out a lot at work, so He's saddened and shocked by the whole thing. As i said, it's time to remember our beloved dead, so i'll light a candle for her on my ancestor altar tonight.

Remember to tell hold the ones you love and tell them what they mean to you.

i'm back and i'm rockin' October!

OK, ok... yes - i apologize for not writing more (or at all) for the past few months. i guess i have a habit of either writing when i am giddy with happiness or absolutely dancing with gloom and depression. i think perhaps when things are going well - in a "wow, i-am- enjoying- my- life- right- now- with- no- trauma- and- no- drama- llamas- and- isn't- it- nice- to- be -off- the- road- and- at- home- with- my- beloved- Asbury- Park- Leather- Family- and- my- NYboL- Brothers- and- at- home,- sitting- at- my- Master's- feet" kind of way - so that i really feel like i have nothing to write about. Then i feel guilty for not writing and i'm not sure how to jump back in again.....

So, i'll just start back up by saying "THANK YOU!" to who ever suggested my story "bootblack dreams" to the Eros Blog. What an honor! (For the record, the story is fiction... some people have questioned who the guy is and why he was so afraid. LOL, He's a real person all right, with visually delicious boots, but the story never happened. And probably never will. Sometimes fantasies should remain that way. Or maybe not.)

All these busy months, i've been looking forward to October contest season, since it meant that i would get to be with my friends in NYboL and Asbury Park. Being on the road so much, i felt awful - like the friendships i was starting to build were torn apart. Knowing that we are welcome to the boy's Thanksgiving again this year means more to me than words can express. i am so glad to be home.

Our NY/NJ contest season was a blast - shame on you to anyone who didn't make at least ONE of the contests. Starting with the Mr. Eagle NYC 2008 contest on Oct 6th, The title went to Peter Schwartz. Peter is an associate member of NYboL, as am i, so i look forward to getting to know him better and supporting him in his title year. i am sure he'll represent the title in a classy and outstanding manner. Some highlights of the evening: Meeting Daddy George from CA. A friend of pug's and now a friend of mine. (Yes, Victoria. Yes.) i also got to see my friend James, who i haven't seen in ages and who i really want to spend some time with. What else.... OH, yes, Please - someone, anyone: please tell me about that Luscious barback at the Eagle. The one with the goggles. That man makes my gears go round and round! Giddy!

October 13th we were again at the Eagle to feast our eyes on some luscious rubber. Yes, folks - Mr East Coast Rubber. Daddy George was there again, i think i am in love with that man. Anyone who understands the Beckham Conundrum is a friend of mine. What a wicked sense of humor that man has.... OK, enough drooling over DG, before i launch in to a description of the hotness that was him in his bleacher style rubber. Skinhead indeed! There were contestants from overseas, so i became confused as to which East Coast, but still - a fantastic evening with about a million contestants. i always forget how much i enjoy looking at rubber until i am at this contest. Then i start smelling that delicious rubbery goodness and imagining a rubber clad hand covering my nose and mouth and.... Oh, my.
Master and i needed to leave before the winners were announced, because we are old and so get sleepy early. No, really, there really were a million contestants and we simply could not stay until 4 a.m. But i found out the next day that the winner was: John Weis. If you live here on the East Coast and you don't know who John is, well - i'll say it again: Shame on you. i met John at my first LPN. He was dressed like a cop. He made me swoon. His partner Larry also makes me swoon. But more that that, they are First Class, Classy Gentlemen of the Scene. Active in the community, for the community. Delightful! i am sure the title with be represented with all the style and energy that John is known for!
Once again, my eyes were drawn to that barback at the Eagle. Gosh..... wow. So. Nice. To. Look. At. (she makes strangling noises and shuffles her feet around)

October 19th -20th: Folks, Master Larry and i are HOME, with our Asbury Park Leather Family. Sal, Dion, Tom, Hillary, Amanda & Amy, Storm & Lisa, every one of those sexy past NJ title holders and their hot partners ( DANNY!) (*grin!*), the Argonauts (who keep us well fed!) .... the bartenders and the staff at the club. This is the event that i look forward to each year. And i'll say it again: anyone from the NJ area that wasn't there - SHAME ON YOU! There was a fantastic and intimate presentation of the Carter-Johnson Library. You say you want a chance to talk to Vi Johnson about Leather History? You had a chance to do so, one on one. And if you weren't there.... well... it's your loss. Funds were raised to help out with the library's expenses and you weren't there to contribute. (Think on that. It's your history. Or maybe it's not because you don't really consider yourself part of the leather scene.)
i was so proud of Chuck, Mr NJ Leather 2007 & boi robi, Ms. NJ Leather 2007. What a great year you had. Chuck got to step down/aside, but since there was no female contestant this year, robi graciously agreed to continue to represent the title for another year. Go robi! (and even thought Chuck stepped down/aside, we still expect him to continue to be a community leader, as he has proven himself to be!)
There were 2 male contestants, Rob and spanky. Both did a fantastic job and both of them seemed to have fun through out the weekend. The contest is serious, to me anyway, but if you're not having a blast competing.... what's the point? By the end of the evening spanky was given the title of Mr. NJ Leather 2008. i hope Rob continues to participate in the scene, he's got great heart and has a lot to offer to us all.
i finally got to see the band, Nekked and talk to the guys - wow, they blew me away with their music and their sincere questions about M/s and what our dynamic is. i think we need to take them out to lunch and give a mini seminar! (thanks for the cd's!) i also go to drool over Will Clark, our fabulous MC. That man.... is .... Yummy.

That's it in a nut shell: 3 contests, 3 worthy people chosen, 1 incredible boi robi carrying on for us, 1 hot barback, 1 new incredible friend from CA, lot of NYboL's, and... where were YOU?

sense of humor

my tattooist has a great sense of humor and likes to make people yell and hop out of the chair when he's working. Funny guy, huh?

Seriously, the tattoo hurt as much as i remembered them hurting (it's been almost 10 years since i've gotten new ink) but it was so worth it! i can't wait until the next step down when i get nautical star #2!

July Photos

i've been trying really hard to take my camera with me every where i go this month, but the nicest pics i've gotten so far have been around the house. i am so in love with the garden this year! There was even a hummingbird this afternoon, but he was too quick for my camera. Here's my July so far:

Bootblack Dreams....

“You are not going to the show wearing those boots are you?”
I teased.

“Why not? What’s wrong with them?” he looked down, turning his foot from side to side.

“They’re filthy and they look like hell. You should let me clean them up for you.”

He stared hard at me. “Look, I know you’re in to all that kinky submission stuff, but I am not. And I am not interested.”

“I offered to clean and shine your boots for you, I didn’t offer to be your slave or for you to spank me. Piss off!”

“Hey, I’m sorry. It’s just that I don’t understand all the stuff you’ve been getting in to. It’s…weird.”

“Weird? Have you ever seen me as happy and well adjusted as I have been in the past year? No? Well then, I guess I’m just weird.”

“Do my boots really look shitty?” Ahhh, appealing to his fashion sense is the way to his heart.

“Yes, you look like a perfectly disheveled crack addict, not the dashing punk you’re trying to look like.” I smirked at him. “Let me get myboot kit and work on them real quick. You like how shiny MY boots look, right?”

He glanced down at my feet. “You can make mine look like yours?”

“Well, yours won’t grow a high heel, but yes, I can make them look shiny and pretty.”

“Ok. But no kinky stuff”

“Oh, shut up and sit down and pour yourself some wine”

I hustled over to the cabinet and got out my boot kit. Crap, why did I push him so hard? I mean,

yeah, I’ve had a crush on him forever – he’s had a crush on me forever too, but… I swung by the kitchen to fill up a little bowl of water to go with the saddle soap.

He was sitting on the couch and was fidgeting with the cork screw.

I hiked up me skirt as I knelt down on the rug at his feet.

“What are you doing?” He asked, dropping the cork screw and backing up as far as the back of the couch would allow.

“I’m pulling up my skirt so it doesn’t get dirty – would you prefer that I take it off?” I asked wickedly, with a grin.

"N-n-no.” he replied.

“Good. Because I wasn’t intending on doing this nude.” He smiled back.

I picked up his boot. Well, I tried to pick it up. “Look, relax – I’m going to black your boots, not cut your foot off.”

“Sorry.” He let me pick up his boot this time.

I pulled his foot towards me and settled it on my thigh as I knelt. “Hmmm….”

“Hmm, What?”

“I was thinking ‘hmmm… what a mess’….”

"Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.”

I picked up the lighter.

“What’s that for?” He started pulling away.

"Oh, for Pete’s sake! Sit still, drink your Shiraz and be quiet. Obviously you’re not interested in what I’m doing or your boots wouldn’t look like this.”

I looked over his boots and ah-ha! A loose thread. I lit that Zippo and melted it off.

“Oh!” He exclaimed.

“Yeah. Oh.” He grinned down sheepishly.

I checked out his other boot and burned off another 2 threads.

Back to the first boot… I opened my tin of saddle soap. “Want to smell?, I asked as I lifted the tin to his face.

"Mmmm, nice. Much nicer that I thought it would be.”

I picked up my little brush, dipped it in that little bowl of water and lathered up the saddle soap.
I spread it over his right boot, working it into all the crevices around the sole, the harness and up the shaft. I put down the brush and started rubbing the lather in with my moist hands. I looked up surreptitiously thru my bangs to see the expression on his face. Bingo! A lovely cross between ecstasy and bewilderment. What have we here? I laughed to myself – a Boot Top in the making?

I grabbed my towel and started drying off his boot. Slowly, with a firm, massaging grip. He was totally relaxing in to the couch, glass of wine tilting precariously.

I snapped the towel and barked, “Next!” He sat straight up in his seat.

“Just kidding. Sit back.”

I picked his left boot up in my hands and gave it another going over. I was having a hard time now not grinning up in to in his face. I was getting hot and I could tell he was too.

I lathered up the left boot and as I started working in the soap with my hands. I took a chance and leaned my head against his knee. I hope he does what comes naturally to most Boot Tops, I hope, I hope…. Ahhh, tentatively at first, then with more confidence he touched my hair then started to rub my head.

“Is this ok?”

“ That is all I ever ask as my payment, of course it’s ok.”

I grabbed the towel and started cleaning off his boot. When I was done I took a deep breath before I looked up. I was amused by what I saw, his normally pale face was flushed and…he was sweating!

“More wine?” I asked proffering the bottle. He nodded and held out his glass.

I refilled him and he offered, “Sip?”, tilting the glass towards me. I nodded and smiled and took a sip. Nice. I took another sip and handed it back.

I picked his right boot back up and settled it back on my thigh. Now that it was dry I could start polishing. I picked up the tin of polish and my lighter,“More threads?” He asked.

“Hush” I said as I lit the polish in a narrow strip top to bottom in the can – as I’d been taught by my mentor. I tried so hard not to let my hand shake. I was always afraid of this part. Afraid I‘d burn my hand, spilling molten polish on the floor or my wrist. “Steady girl”, I thought to myself.

I set the can down and put the lid on it to snuff the flame. A little puff of smoke and the fire in the tin was out. I surveyed his boot again as I waited a moment for the polish to cool to a working temperature.

I dipped my fingers in the cooling puddle of wax I rubbed my hands together to get it evenly distributed and then, as I would if I was massaging his neck, I started rubbing in the polish in the toe of his boot. I dipped back in for a little more and repeated the process until the whole surface was covered with polish. It was really quiet in the room now. Oh, god, I hope I didn’t screw this up by doing this. I hope I didn’t screw us up. I was really nervous. Did I push him too hard? I mean, it’s my kink, not his. I’m only fooling myself if I keep saying “it’s not sexual, it’s just bootblacking.” Ugh.

I picked up my big brush with out looking at him. I took a deep breath and put my worries aside – whether I pushed too hard or not, his boots needed to be finished and I might never have another chance to do this with him. I started buffing: toe, instep, back of the heel, the tops where they caressed his calves….focus girl!

Then I grabbed my shine rag and started buffing again.

Should I spit on the boots as I would do on any other pair of boots? Or would that be too much? I decided against it, they’d get shiny with out me freaking him out any more. I finished up and picked his boot up off my thigh, setting it down gently and went to lift the next one.

“More wine?” he offered me his glass. His face was now an unreadable mask. I took the glass and sipped.

“Next?” I patted my thigh and he put the other boot on me slowly. Still an unreadable face. Ugh.

I flamed the polish again and got to work. All the playful banter was gone. Oh, shit. What if I’ve totally freaked him out? Crap.

Brush. Brush. Grab the rag. Buff. Buff. I was really starting to panic. Breathe girl.

“ok, finished. How do they look?” I asked without meeting his eyes.

Silence.

“They look amazing. That…that was amazing.” He wouldn’t look me in the eye either.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. Let me wash my hands and we’ll getgoing, ok. I don’t want to be blamed for making you late for your own show”

"I’m always late anyway, no one will notice!” He finally met my eyes and he was grinning that crooked, deadly grin now, but looked away quickly. Nervous.

I quickly packed up my stuff and scooted off to wash my hands.

“Ready to go?”

“Yeah”

He went out the door first and waited as I locked up. We went down the hall without speaking. As we went down the stairs, not turning to face me, he said “You know, I have 5 other pairs of boots….”

The End.

Or to be continued…..

The Milk of Human Kindness

i am trying to figure out what i did to piss someone off. Every time i try to reach out to this person, i get cut off or rejected. 9 times out of 10, any email i send goes unanswered. Now, i know: email goes awry and sometimes people are just busy and they forget to reply and then a week goes by, and by then the email is lost. i understand that.
 
Whenever there's a get together for anything and i know this person is organizing it, i am excluded. i find out about it after the fact and people will either say : "hey, why weren't you at the________party?" and i'd taken aback that i didn't know the party was happening and of course, the person who asks me about it is terribly embarrassed that they didn't know that i'm in the "out-crowd". Or i hear people talking about a gathering and they hush up as soon as i walk in the room.

i just found out about another incident of exclusion (actually this is more than exclusion, this seems to actually be a back-handed dis-invitation) and i am really hurt by it. In my travels, i had actually been talking this event up, so i am really perturbed that it seems that i will not be a part of it and now people will say "hey, i thought you were a part of this?" and i get to say what? "i was dis-invited." or "they decided i wasn't good enough." or "i think, perhaps, they just don't like me."

You know, i'm not so different than they are. Yeah, ok, my hair is different and i like loud music and Master's Household is structured differently than theirs. But we're still traveling the same path. Or maybe they think their path is Higher or more elevated or mo' better than mine?

In certain circles, i am know as the "quiet one". In those very same circles, i've been burned by opening my mouth, so, yeah - i AM the quiet one. Why on earth would i open my heart and share my stories when my words have been thrown back in my face? And why on earth would i want to share if i'm rejected again and again?

i can not force someone to like me or to be my friend. It just hurts to be so rejected by someone who i looked up to and respected so much. Someone, who through their actions and the way they APPEARED to live their life, was actually a Hero of mine.

*************************************************************************

i see now that i was mistaken in my Hero selection. i am grateful to this person for teaching me an inadvertent lesson in thinking that other people would have fewer human frailties than i do, i am grateful for the friends that i do have and i am so grateful to have a Master that loves me and orders me not to worry about the pettiness of others.

limp

i am positively limp from relaxation right now. i've actually been up since 7:30, working on Master's new website while in the backyard, drinking coffee and chilling out. It is SO beautiful out here in the renovated back yard. It's not even 1 p.m. and the dogs are passed out on the lawn because they've been chasing bumblebees since 7:30!

i'm taking a quick break from the website work, dying my hair back to a proper shade of magenta while Master is out at the dentist getting His first filling ever! *grin* It's not nice to be mean but it sure is fun teasing Him about getting needles in His mouth!

OK, back to work with me! i really want to get this new site launched by the end of the weekend.....

Busy

How the heck did it get to be the 22nd? It's been a busy month here, getting ready to do a flurry of presentations, getting the yard finished, presenting at MAsT Central NJ's retreat, then running down to Amanda & amy's wedding this past Saturday. (Which was FABULOUS, by the way...)

i'm still recovering from ARTiscape. i feel a bit sad that i can't do as much ART as i would like. OK, i feel bad that i haven't done any ART at all. But, i did finally get that big, honkin' ass bondage bed out of my studio (Thanks Jim!) so i can get in to the closet. This lead to a major clean out/excavation/throw away of a ton of crap in there. If the studio is clean, then i can work in there with any free moment that i have. If it's a sty/junk room - then i have to spend 15 minutes clearing a spot to work and by then my passion is gone, as is the 15 minutes that i had to work. All that's left is 2 small-ish piles of fabric that need to be sorted thru and put away. But now, now my space is workable. Good. That's a feeling of satisfaction! Another layer of past that i was holding on to let go and released from my spirit!

But really, who cares about my junk! Let's talk about the orgasm contest. Individually and with Master, i'm up to 22. i'm not sure what His solo total is. i'm pleased that i'm averaging one per day, although they've been coming in bunches, so to speak. :-) Anyone else posting their running totals?

event drop

Wow, who knew? Who knew that there'd be "event drop" after an art retreat, the same as there is after a Leather event? i totally have the blues. i miss the people that i met, so many fabulous creative ladies, so many supportive and wonderful men - all of whom, and i mean ALL, had that aura of support and "hey, go for it! you're great!" for every one that they met.

i miss being in that supportive space, where every meal was talk of making, every conversation was a festival of ideas shared. i stepped out side of my self and i liked it, a lot. Hrrumph, i sit at my office desk, no view of the outside, making lists of projects that i want to work on, when i'm home.

i keep looking at the ATC's (artist trading cards) that people gave me, even though i had nothing to trade. Just because. Or the beautiful necklace with a Japanese lady on it, that a Lady from Tennessee gave me, because she said she made it and it belonged to me. Or i think about the teacher who dubbed me "The Queen" in my first class there and how the name stuck all weekend and his invite to check out his studio when i go to Indianapolis for GLLA. Such an out pouring of goodness from good people.

This is the same sadness that i feel when i come back from a leather event. Why? Because the mundane work is not fitting me. Or i don't fit it. So, what does that say? Something's got to give.
*she wanders away muttering to go clear more paperwork off her desk*

PS Master's taking me out to dinner to try to cheer me up! my Master ROCKS! :-)

WOW!

It almost always seems that i get excited about an event and then am disappointed when it's over. Not this time. my trip to ARTiscape exceeded my expectations. i was teary eyed by the time i was leaving the hotel, partly because i am going back to the every day mundane work day world and partly because i was leaving all my new found friends! i will expand on this entry when i get home tonight, i just wanted everyone to know that i got home safe, later than expected but safe and happy, tired but worn out with good work and exciting new possibilities for my work. New tools, new directions, new techniques.

So happy to see my Master waiting for me by the baggage carousel. Goddess, i missed that Man while i was away! :-)

'Nake

Master Larry's snake, named 'Nake died today. Very sad. Yes, i know it's weird to say that a snake was good guy, but he was. Very friendly and handle-able. Very well tempered. And one of the most beautiful reptiles i've ever had the honor of sharing my life with. He was a glowing golden sherbet orange and cream and had beautiful ruby coloured eyes. We buried him in the front yard, next to the front door, so his spirit can guard the household's entrance. my Master is very sad today.

Packing

Packing
i both love and loathe packing for a trip. Usually, it;s making sure that my boots are not rubbing against Master's boot in the suitcase, resulting in hours of work for me when we reach our destination. Or making sure our uniforms aren't getting super wrinkled. Or how to get ALL the leather we own in to the carry-on bags. (because we don't trust the baggage handlers...)

This trip is different. First of all, it's the first time i'm traveling alone. (well, ok, i did do the Avon 3 day walk, but i was traveling with 1,500 other women for a common cause) So, it's a bit weird, planning my days according to how i want them, but still thinking what would make Master happy, even if He's not with me. i'm the kind of person who won't eat in a restaurant if i'm alone because i don't want to be seen as an outcast. So, travel alone is a stretch for me.
Secondly, i'm trying to figure out how to take all my required materials and supplies with me in one suitcase and be able to pack my clothes and one nice outfit for the dinner/Cinco De Mayo party on Saturday night. Soldering irons, tin snips, collage items, bone folder (gross name, no? sounds like a surgical tool to me.)
Thirdly, i am totally pushing myself to learn new techniques, putting my art out there where people might be able to see it! (EEK!) i don;t necessarily think the stuff i make if excellent. i do however think that i am an excellent artist - because i try, because i love the process, because i must do this stuff. i tried to not do it, because i was told (by my dad) that my stuff was weird or bad or ugly or made no sense. But let me tell you this thing i've learned. If you were meant to do something and you shove it away from you, it'll never really go away. It'll keep coming back and sneaking up on you. And it'll bite you in the ass, and you'll regret it. There's no hiding from what you are. Ever!

Happy Beltane!

May 1st, Beltane, one of my Pagan favorite holidays! Celebrating the beginning of the summer season, encouraging fertility - not just the creation of children but the fertility of the mind, the spirit, the creation of new ideas and art. And of course, Sex. (What else would a good Pagan celebrate?)

A few years back, Master Blair hosted a contest on her blog to celebrate Beltane. Yes, that's right, the infamous Count-Your-Orgasms-for-a-Month Contest. Master Larry and i won that year. Our collective total was 38. Yes, that's right, 38 orgasms in 31 days. Do the math, we were very busy. (not to mention sore!)

So Here's the rules if you'd like to join in:
Each orgasm counts.
If you are having solo sex, have one orgasm - that counts as one.
If you are having sex with another person and you BOTH cum - that counts as one each. (not 2 for you no matter how skilled you are!)
(and so on, if you're in a triad or whatever your relationships are...)
And, yes, phone sex counts - as long as there's an orgasm.
Yes, ok - so people in a household together probably have an advantage because we can pool our results.
i suppose in the interest of fairness, we could also tally how many times we make another person cum? That would mean forming teams, i guess.... Now that's an idea. Let's discuss...

The rules basically boil down to: It's a free for all. i suppose i get to make the final determination on who the winner is. Yes, a prize will be awarded. A mere token, but really - you should be happy to just experience the challenge! :-0

Get busy people! i expect occasional progress reports, either via email in private or if you're willing, post your results here.

Have a very blessed Beltane!

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

It looks like Master's website host went belly up this weekend - If anyone's trying to get a hold of us, please email us at internationalmasterslave2007 at gmail.com.

Oy, we're trying to get the domain transfered to a new host, but they told us "Yes, ok, as soon as we get permission from you old host, you'll be good to go." Umm, their phone's disconnected and they're not answering email. So now what?

Thanks to everyone we contacted for helpful suggestions, y'all were right on target! (Ray, you rock!)

Stay tuned here for updates and info in the mean time!

Wow!

my Master rocks! He kicks ass! i am SO PROUD of Him! He just got some great news at work, which i am not allowed to divulge in any detail, yet. Suffice it to say there will be a lot of celebrating and dancing and both hooting and hollering at HSL this evening! All this and really amazing sex last night? The stars must be a good alignment.....

Neglecting you?

Yes, my faithful readers..... i am sorry that i've been neglecting y'all. Something popped up in my life that made me really angry and... well, to be perfectly honest - there was no way that i could write about it here and no way that i could NOT write about it, if i was writing anything at all. So, i just let if fester until it has slunk away. Back in to it's... well, where ever it goes back to roost.

Amazing how we don't learn from past mistakes. (And by we, i mean they, because i am perfect. i always get an "A+". *snort* ) {That's meant as a joke. Please.}

That's all i'm going to say on the matter, which is no longer at hand.

i will instead ease myself back into writing here by talking about dead old Soviets. Master and i were talking about Boris Yeltsin's passing and how we've seen a lot of history: the Berlin Wall, etc, etc. i mentioned that i remembered when Leonid Brezhnev died. "i remember it clearly because the boy i was semi-dating at the time brought his combat boots over to my house because i offered to clean them for him." That bit of long forgotten info fell out of my mouth, i looked horrified and Master just chuckled. Yeah, i guess i was a boot whore, even in '82. Good grief!

Crack Boom AAIIEEEE!

Down comforter, 2 bully dogs & Master snoring softly, sun shining on snow-beaming thru the window, slow morning, intertwined and hot... nice way to wake up. i love my Master's hands on me.

Then, dig out cars, scrape off ice, beautiful out side. i finish. i back away from my car, i love my new car. Step on a block of ice. Crack, Boom, AAIIEEEE... i sprain my ankle. Inside, Master gets me an ice pack.

Hobbling around, cleaning and reclaiming the house, later-i'll smudge the house with sage, reclaiming this space as ours and sacred. Getting ready for the Equinox, getting ready for the next steps in our life. It's a nice day. It's a beautiful day!

Hugs

Big hugs to Master Taino. You and Your Family are in my thoughts today. Blessed Be!

Snow again?!

Home safe, i am really done with winter. Glad to hear the pugster landed safely! i had a great conversation with her on the phone last night. i think i've spoken to her one the phone more than i've spoken to anyone in the past year, with the exception of Jack, when i had to call Him from the M/s conference in July to calm myself down! (thanks Jack!) i don't know if i'm phone phobic or if i just have this whole "i don't want to call and bother anyone, no one would want to talk to me anyway" Eyore, sad sack kind of thing. i guess it's not really a phobia, because i talk on the phone all the time at work.

Master and i had a great conversation yesterday, about the bad times we went thru last year and how much better things are now. i respect my Master so much more because He's NOT ashamed to cry. Dang, that is one strong man! i am a lucky girl.

i dented the toe of my brand new engineer boots, so they are no longer new. Pristine for less than a week. i guess i can start gnawing on the edges now....

Vests, Brunch and boys!

Master and i met up with some our NYboL brothers at the Leatherman while we were picking up our new vests. Then off to brunch at the Slaughtered Lamb. Fun place, the waitress was a bit haggard but she hung in there and there were unlimited bloody marys, so that made up for the bad coffee. i LOVE hangin out with these guys. (and, no, not just because there were bloody marys either!) Next, to Purple Passion to replenish the lube supply. Damn, no Liquid Silk.. settled on some ID Lube, my 2nd favorite. No handy pump top but i can manage somehow! :-) i do not understand how the lube gets used up so fast around here. Oh, wait. Yes, i do.

We just finished doing a podcast for Lady Catherine for the Southeast Leather Fest site. Fun! i am looking so forward to getting to Atlanta for this event. i'm sure it's going to be AMAZING!

And, here are the beautiful vests:

Different place

i was looking at my post from last year, this date. Man, am i in a different place than i was last year! And that's a good great thing. As i said back then, some years March is better for me than others and i think the deadly combination of dog surgery and relationship stress was a real doozy for me.

Master and i are both in good space right now, i think we're both building some relationships which could prove to very... fruitful? Maybe that's the wrong word. Productive? Nah, perhaps emotionally satisfying and nurturing for all parties might be a better way to phrase it. Oh, screw it - let's not define it. :-) All i know is - i am having good, safe, healthy, mentally stimulating fun - so much fun i've even finished writing some boot erotica porn that i started last year. Yummy! i like the way my mind works when it's turned on.

We've been busy getting some bookings together, we have another podcast to do this coming weekend, we get to pick up our new vests this weekend at the Leatherman and maybe hook up with a friend for lunch.

And now, after a busy day of visiting clients pursuing a cute boy, i am off to collapse at my Master's feet. A very nice day indeed!

Stuck

Well, Master Larry and i are stuck here in Dallas. Our flight was canceled. We're supposed to take off tomorrow morning, looks like out flight is on schedule. We'll be up at 3 am. Oy!

It was a nice, quiet day here. Like a day out of time, no where to be, no pressure and really - once we gave a few tries to re-book, there was nothing we could do. So we hung out, napped, had sex, relaxed. Made some plans for where we want to go in our travels....

What a beautiful day!

i'll stop teasing y'all now!

And... drum roll... for those who have been waiting with baited breath..... Master Larry and i have been blessed with the honor, privilege and responsibility of being your International Master & slave 2007.Now, i go to pack and then collapse in to a nice nappy nap!

Saturday

Lots to write about.... i promise my faithful readers that i will fill in the blanks as soon as possible! All i can say for now is that this has been an amazing journey!

OK, where do i start?

Up super early. Our friend, Lexi, who was in service this weekend - was there with coffee in hand and a smile on her face. What a gracious and calming influence on our demeanor this weekend. That woman is an example of grace and beauty, let me tell you. A bit of breakfast, a bit of coffee, got dressed and then a last minute going over to make sure we weren't covered with lint and dog hair and had no toilet paper stuck to our shoes (yes, i worry about a lot of stuff...) and we were off to the questioning. i'm not going to say a whole lot about the questioning process or the questions that were asked. What i will say is that i was deeply moved by how detailed the judges were and really honored by the time that they all put in to reading the applications we submitted. Their questions were spot on and really geared to the heart of our relationship, community involvement and direction. Really an excellent process.

Later - we headed stuck around to cheer on the other couples going and coming out of the questioning, then headed back up to the room to unwind. Shortly before we were going to head down for round 2 (the 10 minute presentation) there was a power surge that knocked out the elevators. i was blown away by my tribe rallying around us - every phone in that room went off with Lexi and Lord Brick's family calling us to tell us to head for the stairs (17 flights down!) so we'd get to the presentation on time. Oy! Luckily, the elevators started working and we were spared the impromptu work out.

i think the 10 minute went really well, the handouts were well received, good questions from the audience, laughter in the parts where there was supposed to be laughter... Pshew!

Dinner in the room... lots of "high hair" preparation for me.... then we headed down for rehersal and for me to walk the stage stairs. (yes, i have a fear of falling up the stairs on to the stage!) Master Z drilled the 6 of us in our parts for the Ceremony to honor the Masters and slaves that have gone before us. we slaves were all tearing up during rehersal, and there were at least a couple of moist eyes on the Masters side too!

OK, time to start.... the Ceremony... solemn music.. we start down the aisle... what do i see? a clear way for us to walk? No, one hot, hunky dyke in a great pair of pants with her leg in the aisle.... i leap over... next, a wheel chair.... swerve around.... and then! Oh, no! a lady in a hoop skirt... i leap over that too, never losing grasp of the candle i was carrying and somehow i didn't fall down either. Good. Up the stage stairs, i step on my skirt and almost fall but the podium covered it, i think.
*************************************************************************************
There's a lot more to cover but i don't have time to do it now. i promise to add more later!

Friday

Up early and man, was i tired! Coffee was provided by some dear friends and i tried to get my day started when Sir said "oh, look an accident" i looked out the window of the hotel and was horrified to see that some one hit a dog on the highway. The police came and they loaded the dog in to a car. The way they moved it,carefully in to the back seat - i think the dog was still alive. i was bawling my eyes out. All i could think was how awful it was, how bad it'd feel if one of my pups died like that.... Ugh. i miss my puppies.

So far today was very... busy (with catching up with old friends and contest meeting) but yet slow and mellow, with a lot of down time. We've resigned ourselves to not being able to go to any classes this year - so that's a bit weird. Not that we don't have anything else to think about! :-)

Master's taking a nap then we're off to shower, change and head off to the stepdown reception for Mistress Suzan and slave ziggy. What a great year you guys! Thanks for all your hard work! Then off to the Dallas Eagle for the contestant introductions and the basket auction. Fun!

The reception was beautifuly catered by Dallas boys of Leather. What an amazing spread of food. Master and i played tag with some of the judges, trying to make sure that we've met everyone before the judging starts. It's good manners AND it helps take a bit of the fear factor out of the inquisition! :-) (but just a little...)

The auction at the Eagle went very well. A good time was had by all. Big Thank You to Master Z for putting His birthday spanks on the line for the travel fund! :-) Brave Man!

Back to the hotel as early as was polite to get some sleep - we drew contestant #1, so we're on the hot seat EARLY! *groan!*

i got an email from a dear friend - exactly what i needed to hear, at exactly the right time! You Rock!

Thursday

Woke up to the Texas sunrise streaming in thru the window. What a beautiful day. 80 degrees, sunny. Bliss! Breakfast in the room, another short workout. (the gym equipment is dubious at best) Some rehersal while working out, which always leads to a lot of laughter. We did a lot of wandering outside in the parking lot today - it's just so darn nice outside! Oh, and the Gay Pride flag is flying over the hotel. So nice to see that. It's nice that the hotel actually owns their own pride flag! i love the staff here!

Master is freshening up and then we're off to Pappas BBQ for the annual Family dinner. Hurray! Now i really feel like i'm at SPLF!

i want to send out some quick THANKS to everyone for their support as the contest is about to start. You all not only make it possible for us to run, but you make it WORTH running. It's awesome to have such a great bunch of folks lending us support, love, shoulders and financial support through out the year. Big, huge hugs to all of you!

Wednesday

Traveling day - everything went super smooth. We were at the airport early, had to park in the crummy outdoor lot but we did get to enjoy 2 passes to the Continental President's club. Nice to lounge in there and have a nice breakfast. Plus i loaded up on free granola bars to eat at the hotel.

At the airport, Master bought me a super nice pair of headphones for the flight! But then, Master somehow lost His headphones as we got off the plane, bummer!

Check in went smoothly, We met up with a bunch of people that we know, (slave caroline, Master Jim, Master Z and part of His tribe and... gosh, so many people) had a short work out at the hotel gym, had a quick dinner at Jack in the Box and then did some work stuffing (600!) bags for event attendees. A few quick rehersals and then off to bed!

2 faces only a dog mother could love.

For me, the hardest part of traveling is these guys. They've been extra cuddley and cute since the luggage came out in to the living room. They've been giving me these kinds of looks all week. Oy, it's tough to be a dog mother!

But, the dog sitter will take great care of these pups & Master and i are ready to leave for South Plains. Ready to rock? i am!

Tivo and a jelly dong, perfect together.....

OK, so the TIVO installers finally came today. Master and i did a quick sweep of porn/toys/etc right in the general vicinity of the t.v. - we have a shelf full of dildos and toys on display over the t.v. and while i am not ashamed of my sexuality:

A - why freak out visitors to the house?

B - why risk damage to toys? (especially the pyrex)

C - as a woman alone in the house, why give the wrong impression?

So, the installers are nice when they get here but are kind of weird as they are leaving. i thought maybe the Tom of Finland pictures freaked them out. Nope, on top of the t.v. is sitting a dusty purple jelly dong that must have fallen behind the dresser. Crap! i am suddenly seized by a fit of the giggles. i'm glad i tipped them when they were leaving. Can you imagine their face as they picked it up and went "what the...? eeewwww!"

It's a start....

NJ's Civil Unions begin today!

i know it's not perfect but it's a start. i think full equality is such a basic right, i can't even get my head around why people would be against it. It's incomprehensible to me. Must be the way that i'm wired... It sure wasn't the way i was raised by my parents. Perhaps it just comes from figuring out that i should always do the direct opposite that they did and then i'd be morally and spiritually ok?
(**edit: i am editing to add - since this is going to be such an uphill fight, we also need to have the step of "civil unions" in order to proceed with any other court filings. We, unfortunately need to have that first case of discrimination at work or a hospital where being in a civil union DOESN'T afford the same rights as marriage. Then the next legal step of proving that separate-but-equal is anything but. Master and i are married. Yes, we got married because 15 years ago, it was the next logical step in our relationship. Plus it afforded me health insurance and all the other benefits that come with marriage. However, we were married in a civil ceremony. No church, no temple, no sacred grove. Town Hall, by a judge, during night court on a Wednesday evening in August. How was that different than this type of civil union? Why do i get to have more, better rights than my gay friends? It's just so screwed up to me. **)

Today's a good day. i got some great emails today, full of exciting possibilities. i answered a bunch of emails that i put aside to do later when i got sick. Oy, procrastination does NOT become me. i think i have a lead on that cute boy i've been flirting with.... we'll see where this goes. If nothing else, i'm having fun trying to find out more about him. He's not "in the scene" as far as i can tell, so i have to not scare him off. :-) Hey, he's inspired me to finish writing some porn, so as far as i'm concerned - this is good for me!

i think i'll go make some toast and then finish packing.....

Happy Lunar New Year

As we move in to the Year of the Pig, i wish all my readers good cheer, bounty and all good things! Have a blessed New Year!



Today, Master and i will be waiting for the new tivo to be installed (although, He's on the phone now fighting with customer service to get the install done....OY!) and catching up on domestic duties and we'll be starting to pack for SPLF. i'm off on Monday so i'll have a whole extra day to get things done before we leave. (pshew! thank goddess for that!)

Icy!

Well, i tried to go in to work today and ended up turning around and going back home. Travel was just not in the cards today with this crazy ice storm. Master dragged His butt in to work at 5:30 AM. i'm either not as dedicated or just not willing to risk my life for my job! :-) Of course, He's the only person who showed up in His office today... Which is actually good because He can enjoy the Valentine's Day baked goods that i slipped in to His briefcase and no one will harass Him or steal them off His desk.

Now, i'm home and i wanted to get some work done around here but the power keeps winking off... so i will wait a while to start the laundry. (good thing my laptop is charged!) i think i'll go make some chai, light some candles, chill out and enjoy the snow day...

Whoops, power is out again.. where did i put those candles?